The Thin Line Between
by Beatriz
Summary: {Cloti - Cloud/Tifa} {No Aeris bashing - promise} After Meteor and Sephiroth were destroyed, Cloud Strife left everything and everyone he has ever known to figure out where he stood. 2 Years Later he returns, realizing things have changed. R+R *Complete*
1. Underneath the Stars

**  
  
  
  
  
The Thin Line Between**  
**by : Beatriz**  
**  
Chapter 1 - Underneath the Stars**  
  
  
  
_I still got your face, painted on my heart, drawn upon my soul, etched upon my memory.  
_ _-The Cult _  
  


  
It was a crisp and refreshing night in the serene city of Kalm. Comfortable winds blew through   
the town, causing shop signs to swing back and forth swiftly with a small squeak as the water within the well rippled as though a giant was approaching the area. The stars in the sky glimmered like thousands of tiny, scattered diamonds, a rarity which brought flocks of tourists here to experience. Kalm, in all actuality, was rumored to be they city closest to the heavens.  
  
"Star light, Star bright, the 1st star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight..."  
  
On the compounds of the well, sat a young woman of no more than 23, staring up at the sky with a child's curiosity. Her large ruby eyes had a certain glitter, which matched the intensity of the stars above perfectly, and enough spark to light the way of a lost traveler. But in a way, that statement proved ironic. Her eyes described a hopeful feeling deep inside. A hope to illuminate a path for a certain wanderer. Illuminate a path which would lead the wanderer back here...to her.  
  
"Bring him back to me. I wished every night for the past 2 years, but I need to see him again, to see that he is OK. He promised me that he would come when I needed him. I need him now."  
  
Gathering thin legs against her chest protectively, she closed her eyes and allowed the floral fragrance of the night air to intoxicate her. Deep within her pure heart, she yearned for just one glance into the beauty of those eyes, those blue, Mako infested eyes which held all the answers to her troubles. For the past two years, without it's comfort, she was lost. No solace. No answers. Just haunting darkness that seemed to ask her why.  
  
"I need you, Cloud. I need you next to me, telling me everything is going to be OK. I need to know that you are still breathing and living the life you so desperately wanted to find."  
  
She still remembered the day he swept out of her life, like a hurricane into the night, destroying the lives of everyone he had ever known, just for his personal gain. It was a big surprise actually, nobody had expected it, for the blue eyed man, everyone had grown so fond of, just packed his bags one night and left. No hints of his departure. No good-byes. No have a nice life. No nothing. Just a small courtesy note, which sat on one of the many tables in the small bar in Kalm, expressing his deep gratitude in having them in his life. Tears were shed. Anger rose to the surface. Hearts, definitely broken, to the disturbing realization that Cloud Strife was responsible in destroying the spirits he had so carefully built in their hearts.  
  
"Come back to me. Come back to us."  
  
Reopening her eyes to regain sight of the stars above, crystal tears of nostalgia began to form underneath her eyelids as a small vision of memories began to play incessantly in the compact movie theater of her mind. When he left, he took along with him a piece of her heart that allowed her to love unconditionally. Now without that missing piece, she could no longer love a man completely, the way someone deserved to be loved. That was another reason why she yearned for his return, to demand he give back that piece of importance. So, finally, she could live again.  
  
"Tifa?"  
  
The contemptuous woman cast her eyes away from the sky and onto the source of the sound. A man of equal age stood a couple of feet away from the well, rebellious yet trustful green eyes looking curiously at her as a small smile of bliss overtook his features.  
  
"Hi, Riley. Can't sleep either?"  
  
The man, known as Riley, unfolded his muscular arms across his chest and answered patiently, "Well, I was sleeping until I didn't see the beautiful woman who's usually besides me. I got a little scared. I was going to call the police, but then I realized, they wouldn't come quick enough. Then I decided to sell my soul to the devil, so I can find you, but then I realized, if I sell my soul than I wouldn't be able to love you and feel the relief I usually do when I did find you. So then, I just decided to get my lazy ass up and look for you myself, I mean, it would be quicker than the police and less risky than selling my soul, don't you think?"  
  
Tifa chuckled at his quaint sense of humor, unwrapping her legs from the close hold so they would hang over the side of the old well limply. Riley could always make her laugh, no matter what kind of mood she was in. It was the gift he possessed that made her feel a momentous amount of affection for him.  
  
"Well, you know, nothing says I love you more than selling your soul to the devil. Quite a worthy gesture of affection if you ask me," Tifa retorted in an equal amount of sarcasm, quirking an eyebrow up playfully.  
  
"Well, I'll keep that in mind for an anniversary present," he explained, the smile he placed on display still located distinctly on his face as he stealthily made his way towards the amused woman and swept her up into his arms.  
  
Her soft laughter of happiness twinkled like chimes in the cool night's air, encircling her arms around the man's neck in a restful manner. As the two made their way into the small, yet cozy household within Kalm's town square, a gold band, which sat snuggled on the thin ring finger of Tifa Lockheart, shimmered underneath the soft glow of the full moon.  
  
  
_Meanwhile......_  
  
The winds were harsh and heavy, slapping the young man's face with such harshness, it left a soft glow of red welts. But that didn't stop him from accomplishing his mission. Over all the pain he was experiencing, over all the conditions he was encountering, the journey was not stopped. It was indeed cold enough to put the traveling on halt, figuratively, colder than millions of ice cubes finding a resting spot on a once warm body, but he didn't stop. For there was one place he would go to find warmth, find the strength to walk forward with head held high, and that was to think of her.  
  
Crossing the terrain and following the path which lead into the Mythril Mine, the violent winds seemed to cease slightly, giving the young man some time, if not a lot, to recuperate from the frost bite which was dangerously forming on his already frail body. The winters, ever since Meteor was destroyed, were horrid. Forecasters and experts explain that the sudden change in weather conditions were to blame. Since Meteor gave a sudden deficiency in the boundaries of temperature, in it's case, a heat wave, it was only reasonable that another ice age would occur since the immense amount of heat was suddenly taken away.  
  
"I gotta move faster...gotta see them again. Gotta see her again."  
  
The determined man looked to be in close proximity to the age of 24, with hopeful and vulnerable blue eyes that looked like they seen both heaven and hell. Blonde hair, which was usually spiked up in a spunky way, drooped down a bit from the wind pressure and obviously, the snow storm that was occurring near Junon. He looked broken and ever so tired, dark circles and baggage underneath his eyes as though he hadn't slept for those 2 years that he's been away.  
  
"Think of her and how good it'd be to see her again...Think of her and everything'll be OK."  
  
Tifa Lockheart. The closest person he ever held in his heart, the only person who had ever been there for him in the pleasures and the pains of his life. This girl was the only reason he held his existence in the palm of his hand, why he continued to breathe, even when it proved to be useless. No one, even when he was child with a mother who loved him unconditionally, had made him feel worthy of living a life of meaning, a life of having the mentality where good things did happen to the outsiders of this world. She did. She showed him how unfrivolous he was by allowing him to hold her emotions in his heart, to hold onto something so precious and pure.   
  
"Just give me one chance...Just one chance, that's all I ask you."  
  
Stepping away from the grasps of the dark cave, he noticed the sunlight fighting to make itself known over the horizon. Daylight would soon emerge, a new day becoming the successor of night. It was much nicer on this part of the continent, snow storms banished as only cool gusts of air swept by occasionally. It actually made the young man happy that he put in an extra effort to fight against the disastrous weather and continue the voyage.   
  
"Almost there, just a little further and I'll see her again..."  
  
' That is, if she's still there. '  
  
The mental revelation caused his heart to pound against his ribcage anxiously. It had been 2 years, what if Tifa and the others packed their things and left Kalm to pursue their own dreams? It wasn't a farfetched idea. Could it be true that this strenuous and difficult journey, which he poured his sweat, blood, and being into, was for nothing. He shook his head quickly, not even contemplating the situation at hand. He refused to even begin to believe fate could be so cruel in giving him such hope and then abruptly debasing it into just a memory.   
  
"I won't believe that people who cared for me that much would just pick up and leave, forgetting I even existed and ruling out the possibility of me returning!"  
  
' Was that your mentality when you just packed up and left everything you have ever known behind, without a single good-bye or recognition? '  
  
A conscience had a funny way of being schizophrenic. One day, it's agreeing with you, comforting you to the extremity of wooing you into believing you were doing the right thing. And then the next day, it's completely tearing you inside out, having no mercy in the already guilty emotions within you. It was also funny how an unknown source had such power over you.  
  
"It wasn't like that...I had to find..."  
  
' Something about yourself that could determine where you stand along with the others. Blah, blah, blah. Still bullshit excuses of not wanting to experience attachment to anybody but yourself. Selfish bastard. '  
  
Shaking his head suddenly, the tormented man continued the walk ahead of him, trying to tune out the sing song voice of his deepest thoughts. Unfortunately, a visualization was made that a conscience isn't a radio, you can't turn it on or off whenever you please.  
  
' Tifa probably forgot about you too, I don't blame her, after what you did to her...'  
  
"I didn't mean to hurt anybody, especially Tifa! But for once, I wanted to do something for myself, without worrying about others!"  
  
' But don't you see! You can't just do things for yourself, that's your problem you stubborn asshole! With every decision comes a consequence, good or bad, learn that before you get all full of yourself and consider yourself a saint. '  
  
The voice died out as quickly as it appeared. Maybe that was because a conclusion was made that finally made him realize that running away wasn't the way to solve anything. If he had denied his impulsiveness the satisfaction of resurfacing, things could have been better. But, unfortunately, he had been too afraid of facing the issue at hand head on, and decided on retreating like a coward. He took the easy way out, and now, he would have to accept the consequences of laziness.  
  
His feet ached from running for such a distance without rest. His face, red and yearning for the comfort of cold water splashing on it's skin. His eyes, burning from the moisture that demandingly overtook them. His heart, growing more and more hopeful as he approached the small town that was now in the vision of the naked eye.   
  
"It's right there. Just a little farther."  
  
His pace quickened as did the constant beating of his heart. The dream was right in front of him, right at the grasp of his fingertips. All he had to do was stretch a little farther, just a little more and he would be able to touch it.  
  
"Just a little more!"  
  
And the dream, suddenly became a reality. He saw, with his very eyes, the slight hustle of the peaceful city, as citizens began on their daily routine. Cloud Strife collapsed onto his knees as the moisture that was held in the compounds of his eyes was finally released. The city which he had left behind so long ago was now a sight to behold again. Never did a thought of a possible nostalgia come across him during his departure. But now, seeing the city, and a possible encounter with Tifa or the others, made more tears of happiness spring into his eyes. He had finally made it.  
  
Kalm.  
  



	2. A Figment of My Imagination

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The Thin Line Between  
**by : Beatriz   
  
**A Figment of My Imagination - Chapter 2**  
  
  
_I need you like water, like breath, like rain, I need you like mercy from heaven's gate.  
- LeAnn Rimes  
  
_

  
The small town of Kalm had changed drastically over the time he had been away. Before, the city was basically your average junkyard, an obvious freak reaction to people's devastation towards meteor.   
Stores were destroyed from frantic needs of equipment, homes were boarded up so nobody could exit or enter, and the Inns were closed, permanently. Now, by some miraculous power of God, the town was back to it's proper order.   
  
"Hello, welcome to Kalm, can I help you out with anything?"  
  
Breaking away from the trance his mind was undergoing, Cloud spun around to face a pleasant young woman with large violet eyes that shimmered with innocence. Her long ebony hair flowed down her back, the beam of light the sun allowed to escape, giving it a natural glow. This girl was a clear example of what it was to have a pure smile, not one of those fake, ignorant ones citizens gave to tourists, on your face and a song in your heart. It was refreshing to experience pure friendliness, no pun intended.  
  
"Actually, you can help me out. Do you know if a girl named Tifa lives here in Kalm?"  
  
He held his breath tightly in his lungs, almost causing him to loose consciousness. He didn't know what he would do if his worst fears were realized and she did indeed leave. Things had been in a complete tangle since he left everyone behind. And for once, during the long and odious 2 years he had been away, he finally had developed the balls to come back here and undo what had been in desperate need of undoing. Now, just the mere thought of never being able to make peace with his past mistake made his stomach tie into the tightest knot known to the history of mankind.  
  
"Actually, sir, Tifa has a little bar located right over there," a soft voice replied, tearing Cloud roughly away from his internal struggles, as a slim finger pointed towards a tunnel that was located underneath the popular shops of Kalm, "the bar usually opens up at around 9, so you're a little early."  
  
His heart flew like an over-helium inflated balloon, a large and blindingly bright smile slowly forming on his face. Tifa was here, she was still here waiting. His wish of redemption was surely being granted, and the smile which was plastered on his face was now becoming unnaturally permanent.  
  
"Thank you! Thank you, you have no idea how much you just saved my life!"  
  
The smaller girl stood there, awe stricken, as she watched the blonde haired man throw his arm up in utter joy, jumping up as though he would be able to take off and just fly away. A thought crossed her mind, but was immediately shrugged off seemingly regarding it as a desperate tourist in need of some kind of alcoholic beverage.  
  
  
She felt him. It was a strange sensation which caused the thin hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. She had still felt some kind of link to Cloud Strife before, but this 'feeling' was so powerful, almost impossible to shrug off. It was as though he was kneeling down before her, blue eyes burning a hole right through her heart, just like they always had the power to. Why? It was the only question that could be asked, and the only question she had wanted a definite answer to.  
  
Two brilliant wine colored eyes fluttered open, immediately becoming vulnerable to the sunlight which was pouring through the un-shaded window. Deep inside, the beautiful weather did no justice to the insecurity and troubled emotions she felt. It was so odd. All the women of Kalm envied the lifestyle barmaid Tifa Lockheart led. Large enough and well kept villa. Handsome and supporting husband. Successful business. And the beauty of a flawless red rose. But nobody could see deeper than the exterior, for all they saw was the front that was so securely placed. Nobody could see or even dream of the torturing emptiness that plagued her heart.  
  
"Good morning, sunshine."  
  
A small smile crept onto Tifa's serene features as she propped herself up onto her elbow to turn around and face the man who had wooed her to sleep the night before. He was beautiful and so perfect in her eyes, and she couldn't help but love everything about him. The way his eyes lit up and seemed to sparkle flawlessly when he laughed. The curves of his perfect lips and how the cutest dimple appeared at the corner of his mouth whenever a smile was made.  
  
'Cloud had a cute dimple when he smiled...'  
  
That thought made the once warm blood within the young woman's thin frame, freeze with a chilled after effect. It came from nowhere, which was what caused her to shiver from what felt like winter's breath. Just the mere thought of the blonde haired-blue eyed boy such affection was shown towards, made goosebumps appear over Tifa's creamy skin.  
  
"Baby, are you OK? You're not getting sick are you," Riley asked in a very surprisingly serious tone as he rubbed his wife's arms with warm hands. There was pure concern marked into the forest green eyes Tifa loved to stare into, almost always loosing her way in them.  
  
"Don't worry about me. It was just a little chill," the brunette replied, trying to demise the worry that was clearly building into her lover's heart.  
  
Riley still didn't believe her, but seemed to relax a bit once he saw the smile she had to offer him. A smile that seemed to match the brilliance of the sun up in the sky perfectly. He loved her so much and couldn't even picture life without this girl. At first, he could admit their marriage had been a little bumpy, but fortunately, they had settled their differences. The past had caused dark paranoia of thoughts that her heart had belonged to somebody else, and the marriage was just a way to get back at that man. It caused him to have unwanted doubts.  
  
"Listen, I have to start getting ready for work. We're still going to have that romantic dinner later on tonight right," Tifa asked, feeling Riley's fingertips running down her arms like the feel of satin. She had always adored that touch.  
  
"You bet, sweetheart."  
  
With one last smile, the somber woman arose from her spot on the bed, giving her husband a gentle kiss on the forehead before making her way into the bathroom to go about her basic and daily routine.  
  
  
Cloud relaxed on the stairs, which lead up towards the most common shops of the now arisen town as his piercing blue eyes scanned the area with complete ease. He would be patient. He would continue to wait as long as it took, not caring if the wait lasted until the sun set. She stayed here all this time, most likely awaiting his return, and he would be damned if all the efforts made were for nothing. No, he would wait until he could rest his eyes on that lovely face that had been haunting his dreams for the past 2 years.  
  
"Excuse me son, I'm sorry to disturb you, but would you like to come into my cafe for some coffee. I saw you sitting here and I just thought you might need something to perk you up this fine morning."  
  
Blue eyes aborted from it's mission and refocused on a small elderly woman. She looked very friendly with gentle blue eyes and a partially wrinkled face, which made her appear to be no older than 50 years of age. It caused Cloud's heart to gain a certain warmth he hadn't felt since....his mother had passed away.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I don't have any money. I wouldn't be able to pay you," Cloud responded just as sincerely, a pang of guilt vibrating in his chest for turning away such a kindly old woman.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't even dream of allowing you to pay. Please, come in, I'll tell you everything you need to know about the town."  
  
He couldn't refuse, even though he also felt regret to leaving his watch. But maybe if he followed this woman and asked her some questions about his search, she could give him some valuable information about Tifa. That frame of mind gave him the encouragement needed to leave his post carelessly, throwing all regrets out an open window as he picked himself up and allowed the stranger to lead him into her small cafe.  
  
"My name is Veronica, and I have lived in this quiet town for all of my life. Quite some time if I may say so myself," the small woman, known as Veronica, explained, a chuckle escaping her fine, thin lips, "so enough about me. What brings you here? You look like you've been around the world, why Kalm out of all those places to resign in?"  
  
He wasn't very sure what to say. It wasn't a very difficult question in the first place, which made the blonde even more bashful. So why was it so hard to tell her what was in his mind? Cloud always did have issues of expressing his emotions, no matter what they may have been. His mentality was, things that were meant to be kept within someone's heart was meant to stay there, never to be released unless a certain somebody held the key. A key which would unlock the boundaries he worked so hard in setting up and allow his all to pour out and overwhelm whoever the lucky individual may be.  
  
"Well....it's a long story."  
  
A warm smile re-crosses Veronica's features as her eyes twinkled a little, "Well, we have all the time you need to tell your story."  
  
Why did she want to hear someone's burden? Someone who she didn't even know to add onto the equation. If it was him, he would want nothing to do with a stranger's struggles, the more ignorant he was, the better. But this woman, she genuinely cared. It wasn't just a facade to buy something from her store. It was concern. Concern for him.  
  
"I'm actually not new here, you see, some friends and myself lived here for quite some time but...."  
  
"You goddamn son of a bitch...."  
  
Cloud was rudely thrown away from his topic sentence by a harsh, cold voice, a look of disturbance clearly becoming evident on his tan features. Turning to the side, already angrily bulging eyes nearly turned into huge saucers at the sight that beheld his unnatural eyes.  
  
"Barrett....."   
  
  
AN - Hey everyone, thanks for all the responses. I really appriciated them :o) I hope you guys are enjoying my story and I promise it'll get more interesting. I have a lot of ideas in this twisted head of mine, so don't worry about getting bored. Thanks again guys and please keep the replys rolling. It'll give me the inspiration to work faster  



	3. Reminiscing

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The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 3 - Reminiscing  
  
**_  
What else what else can I do, I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry , if I hurt you then I hate myself.  
- Sister Hazel_  
_  
_

Barrett Wallace. Boy had he changed. He was still the same gruff man Cloud had known before he had left, but somehow, the slight kindness that was usually engraved into his eyes had vanished, without a trace of a possible return. He turned bitter and somewhat anal, it caused the man who had been missing in action for the past 2 years to blame himself for the sudden change.  
  
"Barrett...how've you been, man?"  
  
The large man gave a bitter chuckle, eyes removing from Cloud's expectant ones to the ceiling above. It was so difficult facing the man who had destroyed his and his colleague's dreams and future.  
  
"How've I been? You've got some nerve," Barrett exclaimed angrily, voice loud enough to bring the small cafe down in shambles, "don't come back up here and ask me how I'm doin' like nothin' happened, like you didn't leave us behind like some piece a garbage!"  
  
It was an obvious, for he could not expect anything more. Barrett had been hurt, what it appears to be, deeply by Cloud's disappearance. Obviously, he accused the blonde of abandoning the group, the family, and the sad thing was Cloud didn't even have to ask. It was written all over the brawny man's dark, onyx eyes.  
  
Veronica made a small coughing sound, a discreet way of getting the two men to pay attention to her thoughtful presence. When she caught the two slightly annoyed glances that had been expected, the small woman smiled and replied in a soft voice, "I think that was my cue to leave. Please, help yourselves to anything you may desire. I'll wait outside until you two are finished settling your differences."  
  
"Veronica, wait," Barrett exclaimed, crossing his muscular arms across his chest defensively, "this is your shop! If anythin' me and him should leave, and find somewhere else to tear each other up."  
  
The warm smile remained on her glowing face as she waved her hand defiantly, "No you listen to me, Barrett Wallace! Respect your elders, and this elder is telling you to stay in her shop and resolve the obvious differences between the two of you! I will not take no as an answer. Plus, everybody knows that it's pure luck to reconcile at the same spot where you began to fight!"  
  
Veronica was a strange woman at times, bringing old-wives tales to the table whenever she had to. But over all her oddities, the citizens of Kalm still adored her for her loving and pleasant personality. It was rumored that this same elderly woman had brought together the daughter and son of two rival companies, made them fall in love, and ended all the drama that was brought to the world because of the two corporation's selfish self-involvement of what was better for the company. Not only was her heart's core alluring, but Veronica makes the best coffee Kalm has ever tasted.  
  
"Thanks. We'll be done soon, so ya don't have to wait outside that long," Barrett answered patiently, a small lopsided grin of appreciation on his restless face.  
  
Nodding, the blue eyed woman left the scene. And that was when all hell broke loose between the two reunited friends.  
  
"Barrett, I didn't mean for you all to think I left you behind like a piece of garbage! That's not even close to the real deal," Cloud started, trying desperately to make the frustrated man ahead of him see his point of view. But unfortunately, Barrett was too obstinate to even listen to the first portion of his opponent's rebuttal.  
  
"Well, that's the way you made us feel ya dumbass! When ya spiky ass left, none of us were ever the same again!"  
  
Veins began to appear on the surface of Barrett's chocolate shaded skin, proving accurate accountability that he was severely angry. That specific sight before Cloud caused him to have second thoughts of coming back to confront his mistake as thoughts of fleeing back underneath the rock of despair once again seduced him. Bringing him into his own utopia, where no one could harm him in any way. Coward.  
  
"I left because I didn't know where I stood! I needed to know where my destiny lied before I went on with my life. That's why I left because I needed to find my own reason of being. Alone," he tried to reason, sweeping a stray strand of limp blonde hair away from his vision. Desperation was now clinging at his heart, traveling north to his vocal cords. His intention was to sound remorseful, not pathetic.  
  
"That's a bullshit excuse and ya know it! Hell, I dunno where I stand, but do ya see me runnin' away like a little bitch! No, I stay 'cause I have a reason of stayin' around. But the way ya ran for the hills, I don't think you had a reason for stayin', which's why I can't hold it against ya....Even though God knows I wanna pound your face in for the pain ya caused us all....'specially poor Tifa," the dark man proclaimed with hiden vengeance, but his voice softening a bit once he mentioned his long time friend, Tifa Lockheart.  
  
"...Tifa."  
  
An amused and knowing expression crossed Barrett's features as he immediately replied, without any mercy, "Oh, I see now, so that's why ya came back. 'Cause of Tifa. Who cares 'bout the rest of us as long as ya get to reconcile with her!"  
  
Cloud was beginning to become very irritated. His blue eyes hardened with icy vibrations while his knuckles began to turn white from balling his hand into an UN-foldable fist. That wasn't the reason why he wanted to return from the dead, for there was so many unexplainable causes why he was right here, in this small cafe within the small proportions of Kalm, reminiscing with one of the friends he had fought side by side with to defend this very planet.   
  
"That's not it, man! I wouldn't come back after two years of being away to see just one person! I came to see all of you and apologize. Not because I felt obliged or insecure. But because you all meant something to me, and people who meant something to someone should be treated with more care than I had treated you guys!"  
  
"Well, ya too late to apologize to all of us! Shoulda been here a year ago!"  
  
The confusion struck Cloud faster than a shark attack, and the expression on his face proved that theory immaculately correct. What did he mean it was too late? Was everyone that angry with him that they didn't even want to hear his apologies? Was it too late to get redemption for his stupid mistake? So many questions lurked in his head like a nightmare that if he didn't get the anxiously awaiting answers soon, Cloud's head was surely, and literally, going to explode.  
  
"What do you mean it's too late to apologize to everyone?"  
  
Barrett stood there, a grim look on his face as his skin paled a little under the pressure. His expression.....it seemed to be so pained and wanting to forget whatever memory was running around freely. As the seconds on the grandfather clock ticked by incessantly in the too-silent room, his head lowered shamefully, apparently trying to hide something. Apparently, trying to hide the tears that were already so close to surfacing.  
  
"Damn it! Tell me what the hell happened, I have a right to know," an anxious voice shouted angrily. He didn't mean for it to sound so forceful, knowing that whatever was being kept from him was obviously very painful. But Cloud could no longer hold back the curiosity, which rose his blood pressure to new heights, within him.  
  
"We were waitin' for you when ya left," Barrett began abruptly, voice so low and heavy that Cloud could barely understand him, "waitin' for ya spiky ass to come back. We all had high hopes 'cause we knew ya just needed your time...you'd come back. But a couple months went by and we were all gettin' anxious. That wasn't a good thing. Then, it hit us, ya weren't comin' back. So with our hopes gone we all decided to leave Kalm and just get on with our lives, still wishin' someday you'd come back. After a year went by, and I was all settled down again with Marlene and Elmyra, I got a call from Tifa. I was happy to here from her, but I didn't like the tone in her voice. She was in hysterics, tryin' to calm down while she told me the news. It was 'bout Yuffie. When she went back to Wutai, a big fire happened. There were a bunch of dumb-ass kids stuck on the mountain, so she bein' the kinda girl she is, went up to help 'em. When they were gettin' down from there, Yuffie missed her step, and fell.......they said there was nothin' they could do 'cause even though there was a slight change of survival, a girl her size woulda neva made it. She died instantly, so there was no pain. But it didn't matter, she was still dead...."  
  
The heart which pumped the blood to keep Cloud's body warm suddenly stopped pounding it's normal rhythmic beat. It was as though without the warmth, ice formed within the bloodstream, causing the prodigal leader to shudder, goosebumps plaguing his body. She was OK when he left.....happy, hyperactive.....she was Yuffie. How was it possible that someone could be completely well one minute and the next thing you know it, once you turn back around, they'd be gone? It was a mind boggling question that always seemed to bewilder the young man.  
  
"How...how can that be.....she....she was fine," the famous ex-AVALANCHE leader stuttered, glazed blue eyes stared ahead at the large man as he forced to keep the tears from falling.  
  
"Nobody woulda even imagined she'd be the first to go....she was only 17, man....she had so much ahead of her!"  
  
Secretly, he wished he would be able to look down at his materia stash and find nothing there. And then, looking up, blue eyes would meet presumingly, innocent violet ones as an I-don't-know-anything look was suddenly engraved on her young features. It was an odd wish, actually, but the sentimental value was nothing to be ponderous of. But that was a child's lost hope, a wish which would never happen in this lifetime or the next or the next. Never would Cloud get angry at the ninja's futile attempts to steal his materia. Never would he experience that bashfully embarrassed look she got when it was known she had been caught. Never again, because Yuffie Kisaragi was gone. Never again would she breathe the lush air of the world she had fought so hard to save.  
  
"Yo, what'ya thinkin' about?"  
  
Cloud didn't even hear Barrett Wallace's inquiry, he was so far gone into his own personal world that he became ignorant to the world's occurrences around him. A world of neverending guilt. It was his fault. If he didn't leave everyone behind for his own selfish desires, they would all be still here in Kalm, happy. And Yuffie would still be alive and babbling like there was no tomorrow, constantly annoying the people around her. The tight heart within his ribs began to bleed profusely, almost drowning all of his internal organs.  
  
"This is my fault.....all my fault....."  
  
Barrett quirked his eyebrow in a confused gesture after raising his assuring gaze from the floor back on Cloud's disheveled form, "No, I like to blame ya for some things that happened around here, but this wasn't ya fault! This was a accident, a freak accident that happened 'cause it was meant to. Nothin' ya could've done. Nothin' none of us coulda done."  
  
No matter how much Barrett tried to reason the inevitable, the tormented conscious, which belonged to a struggling Cloud Strife, begged to differ. They had fought so hard to save this glorious planet from destruction. From evil. He had risked the lives of other people as well as himself when he went to fight Sephiroth at the Northern Cave. Indeed, they had defeated him, defeated the nefarious actions against the planet, but a nagging voice at the back of his head told him otherwise. As time went by, Cloud came to a slow yet painful realization that maybe the wrong doing, which hurt the planet, was not actually destroyed. That maybe, just maybe.....the evil was him all along.  
  
"Yuffie prayed from ya to come home. She prayed everyday......so did Tifa. Tifa always lit a candle for ya, sayin' that maybe ya weren't here 'cause you were lost. She said light always led people back to their loved ones......and she was right," Barrett continued, trying to reach the slowly slipping man before he made a complete dive into the abyss he would never be able to get himself out of.  
  
"Tifa....How...how is she?"  
  
The question was asked, but Cloud only caught bits and pieces of the answer. Even though he was very interested in his childhood friend's well-being, his mind couldn't focus directly on a topic. The previous thoughts within were much too scattered for any more frivolous information to be welcomed in.  
  
"Tifa...she's been doin' good. She's really successful and has her own bar......."  
  
Blue eyes shimmied away from the traveling-through-memory-lane man ahead of him and to the large window overlooking the town square. The weather was absolutely impeccable, not a cloud in the sky to bring any kind of complication. But Cloud could care less, since today, his view point on things had drastically changed. Somehow, the justice of coming back for his penance was suddenly regretted.  
  
"She's been real distant lately, stronger. Pretty funny how she follows my advice when I really don't want 'er to. I always told her, bein' a constant friendly person is gonna get you killed....But, she's just not herself......."  
  
Scanning the small area, eyes focused on a woman, about his age, leaving an appealing villa. This woman looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Her hair, the distinct color of coal, shimmered underneath the brilliance of the sun's concentrated rays. It was cut to her lower jaw as it flipped out slightly, along with choppy bangs that reached her mid forehead, giving her a mysterious look. Eyes, which were marked with such wisdom and indescribable pain, were a rich burgundy color, almost appearing as pure and tasteful as red wine while two perfectly dark, arched and defined eyebrows sat innocently above the rare orbs.   
Who was this woman and why did he feel a strange attachment to her?  
  
"That's why I'm kinda glad you showed up again, to prove to her she's not alone...that there're people out there who care about her. 'Cause honestly, she put herself in this fucked up world where she's neva felt more alone......."  
  
Continuing to observe the mystery woman, he squinted his eyes to get a better picture of her in his vision. This was too intense for him to just turn away from, no matter if this was in all actuality killing the drying patience within him. He knew that if he did turn away at this moment, it would be regretted. If only he could see her face a little more clearer......  
  
"All I'm tryin' to say is she needs you. Ever since ya left, her life's never been the same. I hate seein' her like that and the only reason why I'm tellin' you this is 'cause....."  
  
Cloud followed her to the Kalm bar with his eyes, growing closer and closer to the long awaited conclusion. The bar......It couldn't be, could it? He had to believe in the best that could happen, knowing that deep inside, fate could not be so cruel as to violently rape him of his hopes and dreams, diminishing them into the thin air that mankind breathed. He just couldn't believe what he saw, it was actually her, standing right in front of his very eyes.   
'Tifa?'  
  
".....you're her only hope."  
  



	4. Ruby Eyes

**  
  
  
  
  
The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 4 - Ruby Eyes**  
  
_Are these time contagious, I've never been this bored before, is this the prize I've waited for.  
- Collective Soul  
  
_

  
She pushed aside a short, dark strand away from her vision as she unlocked the door to the bar she had called her pride and joy. To open this narrow spaced and previously desolate bar, it cost her sweat and blood as well as lifetime of consistent payments. At first, when she was just getting started, the bills were impossible to pay. Now, money was literally being thrown at her like it was a piece of trash, worth nothing to the consumer. Bills were paid on time. A beautiful house was bought. And, finally, a comfortable lifestyle, which this hard working woman had never even been exposed to, was accustomed.  
  
'Why do I keep getting this feeling like someone is watching me?'  
  
Turning around inconspicuously, Tifa Lockheart glanced around the town square like a paranoid sociopath. It was ridiculous for a woman, who had been in contact with many disturbing people and, to add, had a left hook which could knock an attacker out for the rest of his natural life, to be reduced to a quivering damsel in distress. Actually, it was down right embarrassing. But something in the air seemed to be telling her a fable of certain force that was beyond her source of power.  
  
'This is getting to peculiar, even for me.'  
  
Trying to ignore the emotional conflict within, Tifa made her way into the now opened-to-the-public bar. Steering through the few amount of tables in the empty pub, the owner immediately began her responsibilities. Flipping the chairs over, another sudden chill made it's way up and down her spine at rollercoaster velocities, almost seemingly trying to find a home inside her. This feeling was indescribable and so very undeniable to say the least. Her stomach was overpopulated with fluttering butterflies as her skin acquired unwanted goosebumps. She hadn't felt this nervous or anxious since she fought Sephiroth along side all her comrades at the Northern Cave.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?"  
  
"I would love to tell you if you promise not to send me rushing to the hospital."  
  
The voice caused Tifa to jump out of her skin as she spun around impetuously on instinct. The sight which she foresaw was not what she expected, at all. A drunk with a need to drown his sorrows, most likely. A local date rapist out to fulfill a morning craving, possibly. Her husband, not so expectant, but also a possible decision in this morning's game show of 'Who's at the Door?' But she did not, in all of eternity, think it was him, or anybody resembling him.  
  
"Hey Tifa, long time no see," Cloud responded softly, staring into her eyes so intensely, it was as though he was taking a behind the scenes glance into her soul.  
  
All the barmaid saw was blue. It was empowering, gravity-defying almost, because Tifa could swear she was flying. Looking into the mako eyes, which the she had adored ever since she was a child, the ruby eyed girl realized this was a natural high. No drugs or reality altering substances were needed. All it took was one look into the eye of the storm, and you were hooked, craving more and more each day. But the downfall to the too-good-to-be-true ecstasy was if those precious orbs, which have sucked you so far in, that you have slowly but surely began to drown, were taken away, withdrawal symptoms would unfortunately occur.  
Tifa had suffered from those symptoms when Cloud had vanished into the night, taking with him the only source of comfort she had ever known and truly appreciated.   
  
"C...Cloud?"  
  
A comatose smile appeared on Cloud Strife's features. It was the only genuine smile he had processed for the past two years, needless to say it was the two most miserably lonely years of his entire life. Eyes, could not remove from the exotic ruby ones ahead of him as his body froze in place, not even able to twitch a muscle. Tifa Lockheart had the undoubted ability to paralyze him both physically and spiritually. Only she could arise the sun within the storm of his heart.  
  
"Yeah, Tifa. It's me."  
  
"Wha....what are you doing here? When did you get back," Tifa asked, shivering from the coldness seeing Cloud again was bringing. She wanted to know everything that went on in the past 2 years of his life, and what she wanted, she usually got.  
  
"I just got back today...this morning actually. I visited Barrett at the cafe up the steps..."  
  
"Veronica's cafe," Tifa corrected, rubbing her temples and hoping the throbbing pain would simply escape her with the circular motions being produced.  
  
"You look...good," Cloud pointed out suddenly, taking quick glances at her facial features and body structure before refocusing on her hair, "and you cut your hair, too. I like it."  
  
She wanted to hit him so badly. One quick swing would satisfy the despondency burning deep inside her soul. How did he do this to her? Exit her life, leaving her all alone for what it felt to be an eternity, and then suddenly, being invited back in with open arms, not a single bitter comment to make him explain himself. Tifa couldn't go back to being the gullible girl she was before. She had to be strong and hold in place the walls stacked high up in the skies of her heart to keep from ever feeling the pain that had been brought to her practically throughout her whole existence.  
  
"Why are you here right now," Tifa asked, not even bothering to comment on her once true love's appearance. This was on a need to know basis. Cloud being back would most likely not only haunt her from the rest of her life, but also change that life in ways she didn't even want to imagine.  
  
"I came here....to see you. You, Barrett, Cid, Red XIII, Vincent, Reeve.....and Yuffie," the blonde responded, voice softening to lower depths when he mentioned the dearly departed ninja, "I wanted to apologize for the trouble and pain I put you all through."  
  
The strong woman, which stood before Cloud, allowed feelings of grief and lacking to be shown as the mere mention of Yuffie's name was unfolded. To think of the young girl was a though someone had taken death's sanguine arrows and murdered her with them. Yuffie had been like a daughter to Tifa, and when she had died, it was not the pain of a friend's loss, but the pain of a mother's.  
  
"It's too late for now, people moved on, and Yuffie.....is gone. You should have came to that conclusion a year ago."  
  
That comment was venomous, poisonous. It was like drinking from a wine glass filled with arsenic and dying it's slow painful discourse. Tifa's words meant so much to him. Those comments had gotten him through so much avoided self-destruction. Cloud could not allow the sweet honey that had filled his soul with perpetual light to become austerely sour.   
  
"It's never too late to tell someone the feelings that lie underneath the surface. It may be too late for forgiveness, which I only pray I receive, but it'll never be too late for redemption."  
  
"It is when you scarred the souls of so many people. We all finally went on with our lives, not forgetting you completely but at least we're happy now," Tifa began, trying to keep herself from flying into the arms of the humble man, "maybe it'll just be better if you left. Just not visiting anybody else. You will cause so much more pain if you run into and right out of their lives again."  
  
"What about you? How do you feel right now," Cloud asked, allowing himself to move towards the fragile woman with complete ease as though he were trying to catch a rabbit out in the wilderness.  
  
"What about me? I feel nothing for you."  
  
She was such a good liar it hurt. What if he did believe her? Would she have enough strength within her withering heart to let him leave again? Maybe yes or maybe no. It was so confusing, the emotions pulsating inside her at maximum voltage. Tifa was over him. She had two whole years to get over him, why was it so hard to look him in the eyes and tell him he meant nothing to her anymore?  
  
"You're lying, Tifa," Cloud sang with a hopeful voice as he continued to approach her, "I could always tell when you lied. Or when you were sad. When you were mad. Or when you just had so much hope inside your heart it was as though you would explode. I know this about you because you mean everything to me."  
  
He became so close to her, she could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her face. Even though deep inside she knew this was wrong, a part of her screamed that it never felt so right. Riley. It was the only name she could think of that gave her the strength to back away slightly. Just enough so there was a small gap between them and that they weren't in the so-close proximity of each other.  
  
"Cloud....I have something to tell you."  
  
He glanced at her curiously, an eyebrow quirking up in inquiry as he asked, "What is it, Tifa?"  
  
It was going to break Tifa's heart exposing this valuable information, but it had to be said. Nothing would be more wrong than to allow something between Cloud and herself to occur when she was married and abiding by strict vows of loyalty. So with a deep breath, Tifa began, "Ever since you left, I never felt more alone in my entire life. Everyone had someone, but I had nobody. As I went on with my life, the loneliness caused this black spot in my heart to form, and I hated what I was becoming because of that. That was when my wish of finding someone special came true. That was when Riley came into my life."  
  
"Who's Riley," blue eyes asked bitterly, feeling the knife of jealousy twisting a full 360 degree turn.   
  
"Riley...is my husband," Tifa spat out, looking away from a moment to hide to shame in her eyes. It was nothing to feel sorry about, but deep inside, she knew she had hurt this man immensely.  
  
As time went by, nothing was said. The two individuals stood there, taking in the information and air around them. But fortunately, after enough time had passed, Tifa felt a warm hand cupping her chin and tilting it gently up to come into contact with the same mako blue eyes that had laid themselves down to sleep on her so many times. Coming closer and closer to her face, she heard a small whisper near her ear, "I'm not leaving. I don't care if you're married or not. I'm going to fight for you.... and your heart...."  
  
That was when the moment she had always been waiting for, had happened. Tifa felt Cloud's eyes intensely on her before he leaned down and placed a soft yet yearning kiss on her lips. That burning kiss would be a tattoo of constant reminder for months and maybe years yet to come.  
  
As quick as that feeling of wanting had occurred, it was abruptly taken away. Allowing her eyes to flutter open, Cloud Strife was no longer in front of her. He had vanished into the thin air of the morning. Running her fingertips over her lips, the words, "I'm going to fight for you....and your heart," hung in the soundless bar reposingly.   



	5. Should've, Could've, Would've

**  
  
  
  
  
The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 5 : Should've, Could've, Would've**  
  
_I've been biding my days, you see, evidently it pays. I've been a friend with unbiased views, and then secretly lust after you.  
- Skunk Anansie   
  
_

  
"Barrett, are you still here?!"  
  
Tifa Lockheart ran into Veronica's cafe breathlessly as her eyes frantically scanned the small restaurant. It had been exactly 5 minutes since she had reuinted with the man who had made her heart skip beats for quite some time now. Once they had spoke and a shocking revelation of his true feeling were revealed, he had vanished from the scene. The bartender ran outside like a chicken with it's head cut off afterwards and hurried right up the stairs to meet up her long time friend, Barrett Wallace.  
  
"Whoa, sweetheart! Is everything OK," Veronica proclaimed, a worried expression painted onto her face as her blue eyes focused on the woman at the doorway.  
  
"Veronica, have you seen Barrett? I really need to speak with him!"  
  
This scared the elderly woman, for she never saw the collected and hardly eccentric Tifa Lockheart in such a frenzy. Something must have happened to put her into this kind of state. No, not must have, something 'did' happen, but the question was, what?  
  
"Tifa, honey, calm down. Barrett just left town a little while ago, I needed a new supply of coffee beans so he went down to Midgar to get me some. He should be back soon," Veronica replied, trying to soothe Tifa's spirit, "why don't you come sit down and have a cup of coffee on the house?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I have to go back to the bar. Charlene is the only person there and I know she can get a little nervous around some of the guys," Tifa declined in a matter-of-factly way as she gave a small smile of appreciation to the much smaller woman behind the counter.  
  
"Oh, c'mon dear. Just one quick cup of coffee. I'm sure Charlene is fine, knowing that girl, she'll be able to take care of herself. Come take a seat right here."  
  
She allowed a smile to remain on her youthful features as she made her way to the seat Veronica was motioning her towards. Tifa had always liked Veronica. She always took care of her when she needed the help and treated Tifa like she was her daughter. She liked that. It wasn't everyday Tifa Lockheart was cared for in a motherly way.  
  
"Now tell me the truth about this, and don't mind my nosy nature, but that young man who stopped by here. The man with the blonde hair and lovely blue eyes, was he the reason you're running in here in a huff," the cafe owner asked curiously as she shifted around the coffee so it would be poured evenly into the small cup.  
  
What was Tifa supposed to say? And if she did say what was on her mind, how would it sound like to an old fashioned woman? Veronica not only knew and loved Tifa, but she also knew and loved Riley as well. Maybe even more so. If Veronica found out about her past love for Cloud Strife, and how he vowed to win her over, she would never be able to show her face back here in Kalm. Because you see, this town itself, along with it's citizens, lived by morals and loyalty. That was why it was so serene and beautiful here. So came the downfall. If anybody had ever found out Tifa was involved, behind Riley's back, with Cloud, she would get a horrid repuatation. A reputation which not only would ruin her life, but also her hard earned business.  
  
"Well, you can say that. You see, we all used to be friends, me, Barrett, and Cloud along with some other people you may not know so well. And we all decided to live here and pursue a living, sticking together like family. Everything was going perfectly until......Cloud left," Tifa explained, giving her to less intense version of the story, "he didn't say good-bye to any of us, just leaving behind a note saying how much he'll miss us. He's been gone for 2 years until today, out of all days, he shows up again."  
  
Veronica smiled a bit as she placed a cup of steaming coffee in front of the barmaid, "And what did this young man mean to you?"  
  
' I loved him once, and in some way I still love him. '  
  
"We were friends, best friends. Cloud and I grew up in a small town called Nibelheim, and one day he left for this elite military organization called SOLDIER. I thought he did it for himself, but later on when we reunited again, I found out he did it....to impress me."  
  
Tifa stopped for little bit, reliving the moment when he confessed his intentions when he joined SOLDIER. They were in the lifestream and Cloud in his coma. She had tried to desperately help him, praying to whatever God was listening to the inhabitants of Earth that he would help the uncertain blonde gain his answers to come back to her. Fortunately, the God must have been listening because he became whole again as well as the questions Tifa had had about Cloud Strife. She finally knew, deep in his heart, he cared for her.  
  
"Did it to impress you? It sounds like our favorite little blonde has a crush on you," Veronica replied, eyes skeptical as an I-got-you-where-I-want-you smile materialized on her slightly wrinkled face, "and the way you have the thoughtful face on, it sounds like you have feelings for him too."  
  
"Don't be silly! Cloud and I are friends and that's that," Tifa lied smoothly, placing a strict emphasis on the word friends like it was the main idea in the sentence.   
  
"OK, honey, whatever you say."  
  
Eyes studied the manager carefully as the individual with coffee in hand didn't believe she would give up so easily. Veronica was one of those very stubborn people who see things one way and go for it. Tifa knew she had her mind set on a past relationship between Cloud and herself, which wasn't completely incorrect. But she could let her know the truth because in this confusion situation, the truth wouldn't set anybody free. It would only end up destroying the life Tifa had worked so hard to create.  
  
"It's true. I love Riley, and you know I do. I would never ever do anything to hurt him," Tifa answered firmly, eyes sparkling with innocence, as she began to stand up from the stool she was just so comfortably sitting on.  
  
"I hope so, dear. I wouldn't want anybody to take away the happiness you worked so hard for. I hope to see you soon, dear."  
  
Guilt coursed through her veins, mixing with her bloodstream to produce a sickly thickness that could make anybody lightheaded. She didn't want to lie to anybody, especially Veronica. But Tifa had to protect herself from any kind of gossip that could start spreading around like a plague. Even if that meant inclining the truth.  
  
"Have a nice day, Veronica. And don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you alone anytime soon," Tifa responded with a genuine smile of satisfaction on her face before turning around and exiting the cafe.  
  
  
Cloud Strife sat outside of town, looking up at the clear sky, and taking a slow drag of the cigarette, which hung limply from his mouth. He had never thought of smoking before he went away. But ever since he was on his own, complications arose from inside him. He became an overly cautious and haunted man. And from the outcome of his new nature, he soon began to suffer from constant, painful seizures, thanks to the amount of tension. Cigarettes, he found out, were a way of soothing the worries and covering the hole which had been deeply punctured into his heart.  
  
'Tifa would be able to heal that hole in my heart....'  
  
As he took his last drag and exhaled the excess smoke from his mouth quickly, Cloud tossed the cigarette butt away and laid down on the soft contents of the green surface. The haunting thoughts kept returning to him, even though he had ceaselessly tried to kick them out of his head. It was this incessantly, nagging voice which drove him mad. Tifa was married. She was married! As he lay here, enjoying the sun on his face and thinking these incipient speculation, another man was touching her, holding her, kissing her, loving her. These mental pictures were more than he could handle because in all actuality, Cloud Strife was the man who should be doing those actions at this very moment.   
  
'She's probably not happy with him.'  
  
It was the only cognition that prevented the blonde from jumping into the ocean ahead and drowning himself into a painful demise. She should be with him, not with that other guy. But he had left her behind. She had showed herself to him and Cloud had walked out without a single word. She was only trying to move on and he knew he shouldn't be upset with her or her emasculate husband. In all the years of searching and never even finding the answer he was so desperately searching for, he lost to one thing in his life that brought stability to him. He lost the one woman who was the gate to eternal happiness. The gate, to his heaven.  
  
' I'll get her back. I need her back. '  
  
Closing his eyes, he allowed visions of the ruby-eyed beauty to overtake his disposition. He had never been more hopeful and happy than when he was in the presence of his childhood friend. Things have changed, that was a no-brainer, but one thing he knew would remain the same for all the lifetimes yet to come, was Tifa's dreams. Her dreams were what kept her alive, and he knew it. But ironically, never did he know that he was apart of that child's lost hope.  
  
"What'ya doin' out here?!"  
  
As quickly as his eyes fluttered shut, they reopened in corybantic speed. Readjusting his gaze to grow used to the sunlight, Cloud spotted the source of the sound approaching his post-slumbering form as he called back loudly, "Just out for some fresh air!"  
  
Barrett had two large bags of pure ground coffee beans over his shoulders, a stern look locked on his face, and steps obviously becoming ragged and slower. He looked absolutely exhausted, and Cloud didn't blame him at all. It was a long walk from Midgar to Kalm, and the 25 pound bags of beans did not help.  
  
"Hey, man, let me help you out with one of those," Cloud offered, taking one of the bags off Barrett's sagging shoulders after he had almost made contact with him, "how long have you been in Midgar for?"  
  
"Practically all day," Barrett replied, nodding his appreciation when the bag was removed from his shoulder, "I was runnin' around there all crazy, lookin' for that coffee place Veronica liked. They moved since Midgar's closin' so the more I looked the more pissed and tired I got!"  
  
Cloud didn't say or do anything to react to Barrett's humorous complaints, which was very   
un-Cloud like. In fact, he was known for his witty retorts against the grumbling man. But right now, he was a little furious at the dark-skinned man for the simple explanation that he didn't even bother to tell him that Tifa was married. That would have been a useful bit of information if it had been brought to his attention a little while ago.  
  
"What the fuck is up your ass," Barrett huffed, continuing, side-by-side with the slightly shorter man, to the small town of Kalm, "last time I checked I was supposed ta be pissed off my ass at you, not the other way 'round!"  
  
"You know what's up my ass?! The simple solution that you never told me Tifa was married," Cloud exclaimed harshly, stopping his footsteps to have a small confrontation, "I went to the bar not knowing this bit of information, hoping that maybe I could start something with her, and then finding out that she as a husband. Pretty fucked up if you ask me!"  
  
Barrett ceased his movements as well, staring at Cloud with wide eyes with a slight bit of apology hiding in them, "Listen, man I'm sorry I forgot to tell ya she was taken. But she moved on, she needed ta be happy and not dwell on your memory. She moved on and so should you."  
  
"I don't wanna move on," a scream erupted from the blonde's mouth bitterly, "I want her, but that asshole is standing in my way!"  
  
The brawny man watched as Cloud dropped the bag of coffee onto the ground precariously as he pulled out a cigarette from behind his ear and a silver lighter from his pocket. Growing irritated, Barrett proclaimed, "When the fuck did you start smokin'?!"  
  
"Ever since I was on the road," Cloud mumbled softly as he lit the cigarette and blew out the first puff of smoke it had to offer.  
  
"Well, ya suddenly quit!"  
  
Without a second thought, he grabbed the ciggerette from Cloud's mouth roughly, throwing it into the grassy plains. Barrett did notice the normally thin man grew a little more lanky from obviously not eating properly. The ciggerettes weren't helping either.   
  
"What the fuck was that for!?"  
  
"No friend of mine is smokin', now let's get back to Kalm before it gets dark," Barrett replied, not taking any more lip from the loud mouthed ex-leader, "and also, let's get ya a shower and some new clothes, 'cause ya stink!"  
  
Taking that last comment to heart, Cloud smelled his arms and noticed a small stench as well. It had been a while since he'd taken a decent shower, but it wasn't his fault. With the small amount of money he had, there would never always be a hotel. Which meant no sleep and most dramatically of all meant, no shower.  
  
"But what about, Cid! He smokes," the ex-SOLDIER called out before hoisting the large bag over his shoulder and catching up with Barrett once again.  
  
"Please, Cid's a goner.....plus, even I'm scared of what he'll do to my ass if I try and take his ciggs away."  
  
  
The hot water felt luxuriously on his body as a groan of pure relief escaped his lips. He hadn't taken a shower like this in a long time. Cloud Strife was more accustomed to the 10 second cold shower that the cheap, run-down motels he stayed at had to offer. That was another regret of running off into the night. His problem was he never thought about the consequences of his actions, spontaneous all the way. But as time went by, Cloud noticed that being his spontaneous and under-careful self was going to get him killed one day.  
  
Stopping the water by turning the knob over, a hand reached behind the curtain and grabbed a towel that hung on the rack. As he wiped the moisture from his body, Cloud emerged from the tub with a towel wrapped around his waist securely. He hesitated at looking in the mirror at himself for fear of what he may see. A known fact that a change had been made during the past years was realized, but Cloud never saw it. It wasn't needed to because he was always outdoors and the last time it was checked, the great outdoors didn't have mirrors.  
  
Sucking in a breath, his hand wiped the vapor from the small bathroom mirror and a vision of Cloud Strife stared back at it's producer. A look of surprise crossed over his features as it began to materialize itself on the reflection of the mirror. He looked practically the same, except for various, barely visible battle scars on his face and the look in his glowing blue eyes. It was a pained look, an almost appearing dark storm brewing as he noticed the hardness of them. They were so very cold, it even gave him the chills just by glancing back into them. Underneath those peculiar peepers, stood dark circles that signified his lack of sleep but gratefully, the tint to his face had not been affected. Cloud still obtained the cool tan which ran through his body, obviously the outcome of being in the sun for so long.  
  
Shaking his head at his reflection, he pictured Tifa and how beautiful she had looked when he laid his eyes on her again. Then, he thought of himself and how horribly disgruntled he appeared. It was a thought that made him feel like running out into the night and cursing the stars for giving him to encouragement to leave. For making him this way. But that was something that couldn't be changed. What had happened was in the past, there was nothing he could do to change it. He had the present now and he hoped that was all he needed to make amends.  
  
"Cloud, get ya spiky ass outta the bathroom! Marlene still needs to take her bath and it's way past her bedtime," he heard Barrett bellow from below, clearly beyond infuriated.  
  
"Fine," Cloud shouted back, taking one last glance in the mirror before unlocking the bathroom door, opening it, and exiting. Maybe he could go for a walk through town to clear his head.  
  
  
"Hey, Tifa...._hiccup_......did I tell ya how beautiful ya look tonight."  
  
"Yeah, Danny, you did. You told me tonight, last night, and the night before that. I think I have enough information to paint the picture," Tifa responded coolly, with a hint of exhaustion evident in her voice, before making her way behind the bar again to dispose of a couple of empty beer bottles a small table had previously ordered.  
  
"Hey, Tifa. You look tired, why don't you go take a break. Get some fresh air," Charlene, the newest addition to Tifa's bar, had offered, a corporative smile placed on her young face as she blew a strand of gold hair away from her clear green eyes.  
  
"Charlene, no, it's OK. I know you get a little nervous around people who have a lot of alcohol in their blood stream, and looking at Danny, it looks like he's got the Mideel lifestream flowing in there," Tifa reassured as she placed a steady hand on the blonde's shoulder, "plus, it's almost closing time, I'm sure I can hang on for one more hour."  
  
She still wasn't convinced. Tifa had done so much for her. From getting Charlene a job to setting up a house for herself and her 2 year old son. It was indeed true she was a little skeeved by alcoholics, due to past experiences, but her boss didn't deserve to suffer because of her paranoid misconceptions. She knew she had the capability to handle things around here for 15 minutes.  
  
"Go! I'm a big girl, Tifa, I can take care of myself! Now get out there and do what you have to do!"  
  
Tifa glanced her employee skeptically, but then thought against saying anything because she actually did need this break badly. To deal with the drunks that decided to crash at her bar, she needed her strength, and that was something that wasn't even close to being possessed. Charlene would be fine, and if she needed any kind of assistance, she could just scream. It wasn't as though Tifa was leaving town or anything.  
  
"Thanks, Char. I owe you one," Tifa gratefully proclaimed, before sashaying around the bar and was close to making her way out of the bar, "I'll be back soon."  
  
"Hey, Tifa..._hiccup_.....You want me to go along," Danny asked, a drunken grin on his face as he remained slumped at the bar motionless, "it's dangerous for a pretty girl...._hiccup_......like you to go out alone."  
  
"Well, that depends, Danny, do you have enough soberness left in you to stand up," the bartender asked, knowing very well he didn't have enough soberness for his eyesight to produce distinct color.  
  
"Of course...._hiccup_.......I do!"  
  
Throwing himself from the stool, Danny immediately fell to the floor, not having enough coordination to hold himself up. It was a funny sight and it took all the power within the two females, who had just witnessed the act, to explode with laughter.  
  
"I guess not. Oh, and Charlene," Tifa began, a large grin on her face as she pointed down at the bawling drunken man on the ground, "don't worry about him. Right now, he doesn't have the coordination or brain activity to win a battle against a stuffed animal."  
  
Laughing, Charlene watched the dark haired woman grab her coat from the rack next to the doorway and exit the bar with a satisfied vibe emitting from her. As Tifa left, she looked back down at Danny and reprehended him like a small child who had just been caught stealing cookies before dinner, "Now, does it pay to get drunk? Not such a smart move on your behalf, sweetheart.  
  
  
Tifa walked out of the bar's tunnel, a smile from just recent events. It was a chilly night in the small town of Kalm as the stars hung high in the sky with it's blindingly bright lights escaping it's tiny structure. She always felt a certain fondness for the stars, ever since that night at the well. She couldn't help but laugh softly. Everything she had ever experienced with Cloud, she had grown to treasure deep inside her soul. All of life's events, no matter if they possess joy of pain.  
  
"Taking a late night stroll?"  
  
The voice startled her yet again. That was twice in one day and Tifa Lockheart was too young to die of a heart-attack. In an irate way, she turned around and faced the man she had just been thinking about, becoming even more startled. He was no longer in his purple SOLDIER's uniform. As of right now he was wearing a baggy white dress shirt which was only attached with three buttons in the middle and sleeves rolled up loosely. Along with his get-up, he wore very baggy black pants and his usual brown boots. He no longer had dirt on his face and his hair was now clean and styled. Since it had grown a slight bit longer over the time he had been gone, a spike was drooped against his eye in a seductive way.   
  
"What are you doing out here, it's pretty late," Tifa interrogated, shaking the lustful thoughts she was having of her handsome childhood friend at the moment.  
  
"I could say the same to you," Cloud fired back patiently as he threw the remainder of the cigarette off the top of the steps he was innocently sitting on, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "or are you just leaving you're assigned responsibilities to come look for me?"  
  
"I'm not a child anymore, Cloud, I'm capable of taking care of myself. And the last time I checked, I didn't base my reputation on stalker tendencies, so you're out of luck in that department. But don't worry, I'm sure there are plenty of people in Midgar who can satisfy your twisted aphrodisias," Tifa answered wittily, turning around to continue her walk. Her break was passing by, and she had no tolerance or energy to be dealing with someone who was so hung up on himself. Not even if he was her love interest who had disappeared and suddenly returned 2 years later.   
  
"Damn, I guess I'm forced to cross that off my list of things I wanted to happen before I died. Too bad, it was all the way up at number 3....Oh, c'mon, Tifa, wait! I was just kidding," Cloud exclaimed before standing up and jogging down the stairs to catch up to her.  
  
Feeling Cloud's hands on her shoulders caused a satisfied ripple to course through her body, a shiver erupting as the consequence. It also almost made her feel guilty at allowing herself to feel this way from another man's, who wasn't her husband, touch. Almost.  
  
"Listen, Tifa, I'm sorry OK? Don't get mad."  
  
Sighing, the woman in Cloud's hand grip replied almost immediately, "No, don't apologize. I'm just very moody when I don't get enough sleep."  
  
"Couldn't be more obvious," Cloud pointed out, causing Tifa to turn around with a don't go there look which only made him smile more, "I always loved that look."  
  
And he did. He loved practically everything about this girl. The way she would pouted when she didn't get her way. Her smart remarks, which proved how intelligent she really was. The way she would place her eyes on him, giving him a sound comfort from within. And the way she would hold him with her warm embrace whenever he would wake up in a cold sweat from a hauntingly guilty nightmare he would have about Aeris, the beautiful flower girl who had came into his life, changed it for the better, and left so soon.  
  
"If you loved that look so much, than why did you run from it? When somebody loves something, they would do everything in their power to keep it from slipping away. They would hold onto it with as much time as they had. What you just said is a lie. A lie which has just reopened the wounds I've tried so hard to close over the time you've been gone," Tifa whispered, turning around, ashamed at the tears that were surfacing quickly. She was strong and she would not allow him to see her in such a momentarily weak state.  
  
"I left because I needed to find out where I belonged. But as time went by and the longer I was away, the more I realized that I belonged right here. With you," Cloud explained as he turned Tifa back around and kissed the tear which was slowly coursing down her cheek away. He traveled up closer and closer, until he reached her eyelids and softly placed butterfly kisses on each of them. Almost telling the tears to stop it's constant flow.  
  
She fell weak underneath his beautiful kisses, brain unable to produce thoughts, and legs growing rubbery soft. As she continued to feel the trail of kisses, she noticed his aim towards her moist lips, soon fulfilling their mission. Tifa didn't stop it. She could've but she didn't. She would've but she didn't. She should've but she didn't. It gave her too much bliss to end it there, and that was the mistake which caused her to return the kiss, deepening the passion which was already there. But unfortunately, it didn't take long for her conscience to kick in. For the image of Riley to enter into her head and the silent promise she made to herself of keeping her distance from Cloud.  
  
"I can't," she responded quickly after pushing a hungry Cloud away from her lips, more tears forming in her eyes as previous ones moistened her cheeks in vain, "I'm sorry, Cloud, but I'm married. This is wrong...I just can't...."  
  
Cloud watched as Tifa ran away from his restful arms, tears apparently still flowing down her cheeks, forming a small lake-like stream. As she was as far away from him as he could imagine, Cloud just stood there, blue eyes focused up at the stars, whispering to them soundly, "No, Tifa, I'm sorry. Because I can't let you fall away from me....not this time."


	6. Tonight and the Rest of My Life

**  
  
  
  
  
The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 6 - Tonight and the Rest of My Life  
  
**_Did you ever love somebody, so much that the Earth moved? Did you ever love somebody, even though it hurt to?  
- Jessica Simpson  
  
_

  
"Cloud...."  
  
A mumble came from the sleeping figure located on the large, comfortable looking mattress. Turning over in an exhausted way, he began to lightly snore once again.  
  
"Cloud! Wake up!"  
  
Shooting up, Cloud Strife looked around and focused on the woman, who he had been pursuing for the past day, at his window. Her body was halfway outside and halfway inside, the moonlight washing over her face, giving her a pale and flawless appearance. Grinning cockily, he jokingly replied, "Couldn't wait till the morning to see me, huh?"  
  
"Shut up and put your shirt! We need to talk," Tifa whispered in an annoyed way, careful not to disturb the other inhabitants of the household, before exiting the room by way of the opened window.  
  
Keeping the grin on his face, Cloud reached to the floor and pulled the dress shirt on to cover his naked upper body. Once he was done placing on the shirt and slipping on his boots, he made his way to the window and jumped quickly out, coming into contact with the awaiting Tifa Lockheart.  
  
'Why is he making this so hard?'  
  
Her ruby eyes cryptically traveled over his body, unable to leave it in peace. Cloud Strife's body had honestly transformed over the 2 years. His dress shirt was unbuttoned which showed how thin and muscular he truly way. The black pants hung low and revealed his hip bones perfectly. That sight alone was enough to make drool escape from the corners of her mouth.  
  
"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about or did you wanna stand there and stare with lust all night," Cloud responded sarcastically before taking a seat on the window sill. His eyes were stuck on Tifa like they had been glued there unknowingly.  
  
A bright shade of crimson crept onto her cheeks in embarrassment before quickly retaliating, "Please. I'd have an erotic hankering for Don Corneo before I even begin to remotely consider having sexual innuendoes about you."  
  
"So then there's a possibility," the blonde fired back, a look of mischief etched into his eyes as an equally evil smile appeared on his face.  
  
This time Tifa couldn't help but smile, even though she fought so hard to keep it from showing. Cloud had that kind of dominance over her, it couldn't be denied. At least when it came to matters of lightening the burdens of the heart. That was one of the many reasons why Cloud still had a piece of her heart with him.  
  
"The slightest possibility, which would most likely happen over the next lifetime, or the one after that."  
  
Smiling shortly, mako eyes pierced into burgundy ones, a serious look suddenly crossing over his features, "So what did you come here, at 1am to say the least, to talk to me about?"  
  
"Before I tell you tell you that, let's go down to the well. Relive past memories, you know," the dark-haired woman explained, the light of the stars adding a spark to her already lively eyes.  
  
All he could do was nod. Cloud had become too curious of what Tifa had wanted to say to just shake his head no. Was it a good thing or a bad thing? Did she have feelings of attachment or repulsion? Those specific doubts caused the young man to shiver with sudden nerves, unable to get the shaky feeling out of his heart. There was a 50% chance that things could end happily ever after for him. Hopefully, that 50% was all that he needed.  
  
It was silent descending from the fire escape of Barrett Wallace's two story villa and the short walk over to the well. It actually gave the two individuals a chance to think about the near future and what it possessed after this night. Was it going to be a bright future or an obscurely dark one? That thought caused Tifa to wonder if it was a good idea to awaken Cloud and tell him what she had to say. Would she regret this night? She only hoped not.  
  
"Cloud. Listen to me and listen very well...I can't get involved with you! Do you see this ring," Tifa immediately began, not even bothering to sit down on the well or give the blue eyed man any kind of comfortable accommodation, before pointing to the band on her finger, "this signifies loyalty and eternal love to a man. I made vows that I can't break, and I have to keep Riley's feelings into perspective. He was there when you weren't. He wrapped his arms around me and told me things were going to be OK when you didn't. He told me he loved me when you didn't even know what those words meant. I can't just turn my back on him just because you found the time in your busy schedule to come back and pay tribute to me and everybody else! You don't just walk out on somebody you care about, that's why I'm letting you go, right now before I make a horrible mistake that I can't take back. That's what I wanted to tell you, Cloud. But unlike you, I had the decency to say good-bye."  
  
Eyes stared disbelieving at the woman who stood courageously ahead. It was as though his ears were deceiving him. This couldn't end in such a disastrous way. He wouldn't let the fairy tale of their lives end with a tragic Shakespearean ending. So placing his hands on her shoulders firmly, Cloud Strife, for the first time, spoke the truth of his heart, "Tifa Lockheart, I've known you since the time in your life when you considered the Power Rangers to be an acceptable form of entertainment. I've known you, loved you, and protected you in any way that I could. But even though those powerful emotions were in my heart, I knew I was failing you. And when I left you behind 2 years ago, I came to a painful realization that I did fail you by abandoning you. I felt this special feeling in my heart that I never knew could exist, and the more I thought about you, the further it grew."  
  
She couldn't believe her ears. It was as though hell had indeed frozen over, for never did Tifa even dream, that Cloud would ever bear his soul to another human being. The words that escaped his lips were so pure and honest, no lies visible. Every night, she would wish upon a star that a man would love her with such a passion, it would blind her to everything around her. But then again, the stars had a funny way of allowing a secret dream's desire to purge into reality.  
  
Bending down to pluck a pure red rose from the ground near the well, Cloud arose and focused on Tifa again, "Every night, when I was close to falling asleep, I wished I could touch you..."  
  
The rose softly caressed Tifa's cheek, ravishing her face with pure ecstasy as it made it's way down her jaw line seductively. The urges running through every part of her body were indescribable and she allowed her eyes to close, feeling the emotions within surely becoming deeper.  
  
"You were the reason I'm still breathing at this very moment, why I'm here, telling you how I feel. All I could ever see was you, and I had no intention to hurt you in any way. I'm sorry I left, and I'm sorry you felt pain, but I'm not sorry that I care for you beyond reasoning.....and I'm not sorry that I'm giving you the feelings that you feel at this moment....and I'm not sorry for kissing you the way I did earlier."  
  
The smooth surface of the flower made a trail down her neck as it swept across and traveled it's way back up to her chin and lips, teasing her in intoxicating ways. She was unable to think. Unable to speak. The only ability she had to feel was beautiful shivers running down her spine, causing her to shake with bliss.  
  
Cloud watched her face as he trailed the rose tranquilly around the relaxed features, a smile tugging at his lips indecisively. He wished he could touch her, feel her, take all of her in. But if he couldn't and if this was the only way to be close to her, he would take this unique opportunity.  
  
"...Cloud..."  
  
"I love you, Tifa Lockheart, and I'll never stop," a whispered offered, rose being replaced by an equally caressive hand as the flower made it's exit by running down her nose, to her mouth, then slowly lowering itself to her neck and down her breast before slipping down to the floor gently.   
  
Lower his mouth, a decision was made. This would be his last try. If she pulled away once more, he knew her heart did not belong to him, and she would be left alone. If Cloud didn't make her happy, than hopefully somebody else, even if that meant her husband, would. Caressing the quivering mouth with his, he allowed it to remain there. To his surprise, the expected reposed woman, did not move. She stood there, once again, allowing Cloud's mouth to take her in, but this time, without a fight.  
  
The two allowed their long lost urges to take play, a once innocent kiss turning hungry with nothing but the desire locked deep within it's crevices. Ringing her arms around his waist, she felt his body trembling under her touch. This kiss was as though a missing puzzle piece in her heart had been found and securely placed to cover the gap. This was indeed wrong, and she knew it, but Cloud's touch was what she craved ever since she could remember. It was her dream fulfilled and this time, unlike the others, Tifa could not stop.  
  
It was new beginning to an affair to remember and tragically, soon enough, an affair that both would soon want to forget.  
  
  
{AN - Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for all the replies you gave me. This was a very short chapter, I know, but this sets up the falling actions that are yet to come {and trust me when I say, they will be quite interesting}. Again, please, if you would like to find out what fate {or in other cases, the author's twisted mind} has in store for them, reply. The only reason why I got so far in my store was because of your guy's encouragement. Thanks again ;o)}


	7. In All of Heaven's Glory

**  
  
  
  
  
The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
**  
**Chapter 7 : In All of Heaven's Glory**  
**  
**_If I could stand, a thousand trials, the strong will never fall. But watching stars, without you, my soul cries.  
-Desiree  
  
_

  
The sun's rays could not shine into the small bedroom any brighter or any more gloriously. Beauty was too simple of a word that could never compare to describing the flawless sunrise over the steep horizon. If you stared up at that peculiar sky long and hard enough, it was almost as though it had been set ablaze. Oranges and reds, emitting from the fiery sun, and entwining into one to form the offspring of pure perfection. Such exquisite discovery could only be monetarily uncovered by the purest of eyes and innocent of souls.  
  
Large, ruby eyes opened to the welcoming sight, but unfortunately, eyes immediately becoming blinded by the sudden impact of the bright light. Flinching slightly, two muscular arms encircled her emaciated body in an almost soothing way. It had been so long since she had been held in such a protective way. In such a loving way. In such a way that the holder was unable to let go for fear of loosing the object of his grasp.   
  
"You awake," a soft whisper sounded before brushing ever-so-soft lips against her earlobe playfully. Even though the young woman could not see the object of her affection's face, the structure of his features had gave proof to a smile on those beautiful lips she loved to kiss.  
  
Sighing softly, Tifa Lockheart rolled towards the source of tender sound as she soon came into contact with two pools of majestic ocean blue. She couldn't help but smile shyly at those intruding eyes, which had the undeniable power of making any girl weak in the knees. This girl, most of all.  
  
"Good morning."  
  
"Good morning," Tifa repeated softly, unable to allow the small smile of innocence to dissolute from her serene features.   
  
"Did you sleep well," the blonde, who laid blissfully next to the blushing brunette, asked equally soft as a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, "but considering what occurred last night I doubt you had anytime to sleep."  
  
Keeping from stifling a laugh, Tifa remained {or tried to remain} very serious while looking Cloud in the eye and replying nonchalantly, "Considering how poorly done the events of last night were performed, unfortunately, kept me wide awake in deep wonderment of how I should break the disappointing news. So in a way, you're right in one thing even though you're missing the target of my insomnia by a mile."  
  
Staring down with wide eyes, Cloud exclaimed, in such a boyish tone it caused a small eruption of laughter to flow from the amused woman besides him, "I wasn't bad, was I? I mean, I couldn't be THAT bad!"  
  
Trying to replace the delighted face with the previous earnest one, which was done fortunately successful, Tifa teased, "Well, I guess you have to find that one out on your own, lover. So while you're contemplating the obvious, I'm going to take a shower."  
  
Feeling the sheets rustling underneath him, Cloud watched at the love of his life wrap the oversized, white sheet around her timid body and proceed to leaving the bedroom. Allowing the smile to return, he retorted confidently, "I know how much you want me to join you, so I'll be happy to oblige if you just ask."  
  
Exchanging the serene expression that was previously locked on her face with a wicked smile full of obvious mischief, Tifa returned with equal confidence, "And have a repeat of last night. Thanks, but no thanks, I'd rather take my chances of showering alone."  
  
Grabbing a pillow, Cloud chucked it at the gleefully shrieking girl playfully while she opened the door and made a quick escape. But before he knew it, her lovely face reappeared at the doorway once. Sticking out her tongue in a frolicsome manner, Tifa exclaimed in a mocking tone, "You missed!"  
  
"Oh yeah, I missed? Then I better try again since you know practice makes perfect!"  
  
Grabbing the blanket off the bed with him as he leapt from the comfortable mattress, he ran after the rambunctious troublemaker. The both were so deep in hysterics and since they could barely see where they were going from the lack of involvement, it wasn't very long before Tifa ended up in the guest bedroom of the small villa, immediately cornered. Smiling innocently at the approaching blue eyed man, knowing very well what he was going to do, she proclaimed in a small voice, "I love you."  
  
"That isn't going to help you this time," Cloud explained before tackling Tifa onto the bed behind her, a burst of laughter and shouted pleas escaping her mouth endlessly, "you see, the bad thing about a childhood friend is they know all you're weakness, especially where you're main tickle spot it."  
  
Trying to speak, but unfortunately, too red in the face to muster a single word, the breathless woman laughed uncontrollably. That only made it worse, but it couldn't be helped. She was too felicitous to do otherwise.  
  
"Say you're sorry and you love me and that I'm the best at EVERYTHING I do!"  
  
"So....rr...y.....yo...u're....the.....b.....est......a....at.......every....th...ing.....you.....d.....do....."  
  
Proudly, Cloud released the uncomfortable hold only to his dismay, to hear a breathless contradictory voice from underneath him, "But let me make that clear enough for you to understand. Everything you do, that doesn't have to do with sexual activity, you're prosperous at."  
  
Chuckling at her love's shocked face, Tifa felt fingers grasping at her sides with swift, constant motion causing an uproar to occur. Cloud Strife was among the select few to discover her tickle spot. Her own husband didn't even know where that spot was, even though he constantly tried to figure it out. The tickle spot wasn't the only thing the ex-SOLDIER knew about. He had uncovered secretes deep within her heart that were too shameful or personal to ever let another person knew. That was why she loves him so deeply and always had.  
  
"Say you're sorry, and I'll consider letting you go," the blonde exclaimed with a smile on his face, keeping the motions of his fingers in constant activity. She was so beautiful when she laughed, and if it were possible without suffocation, Cloud would've tickled Tifa everyday of her life.  
  
"I...I'm....so....sorry!"  
  
"You sure because I don't think your very serious about your apology."  
  
"I'M SURE," Tifa screamed out between ragged breaths, raising a couple of decibels to prove her point. To her relief, that mere exclamation was enough. The protruding fingers stopped their actions and rested on her stomach peacefully as she gave a sigh of pleasure of the very moment she was living in, "I don't want this morning to end....I want it to keep repeating itself, over and over again so it never has to stop."  
  
"But if we keep repeating these mornings, how can would we be able to have others that are better than this one," Cloud whispered softly in her ear before nuzzling his nose against her milk-like cheek with pure fondness.  
  
"I don't care about the future, all I care about is right now. And right now, I have you, that's all that counts," Tifa responded back while experiencing a feeling of warmth running through her body, giving heat to the coldest portions of heart, "everyday, when you were gone, I always wondered if you would come back to me....wondered if you were thinking about me or about returning. I lived my life having this dream deep inside my heart, not even knowing one day it would come true....not knowing, you'd come back to me."  
  
Propping himself up on his elbow, Cloud mused on that simple statement which meant so much to him. He ran his fingers through the silk strands that belonged to his life and the hope that brought him back here. The only reason he had desperately wanted to return was to run his fingers through her hair, look into the soulful fiery eyes he so deeply loved, and tell her that the dreams within him would have never been realized if she never believed in him. Never stood by his side and continuously explained that hope was what defined a person in their future quests to search for themselves. She was the reason the world, in his mentality, continued to rotate around the sun and the sole purpose of his survival.   
  
"You're the reason I came back. You made me believe in so much, I should have thought that through before I left, than maybe things could be different," Cloud began in his revealing of the thoughts and guilt that plagued his mind for some time, suddenly beginning to feel so much lighter, "I never believed in the simple feeling of hope ever since I was a child, but you gave that to me, Tifa. You gave me hope."  
  
Looking out the small window from her spot on the bed, tears sprung to her eyes at hearing the confession that had just been divulged. It wasn't every day Cloud Strife, savior of the world, expressed the components of his heart. Every moment of his return was growing sweeter and sweeter like a ripe fruit that had just grown into it's adult stage in the Garden of Eden. It was undeniable and so beautiful, tears couldn't help but make itself known.  
  
"When moments like these happen, it's sad to think that there may never be another one just as sweet or perfect," Tifa breathed, allowing crystal tears to leave a trail as it's proof of existence.  
  
Using his thumb to sweep away the tears, Cloud kissed her cheek and hummed softly into her ear, "There will be more to come, you just have to be patient."  
  
Smiling, tear infested ruby eyes glanced up and took in the sight above her. It was almost as though she was taking a picture of the man which brought so much into her life. Almost as though carving his face into her mind, as well as her heart, so there will never be another thought of doubt or illusion. He was it, the real thing, and Tifa couldn't be any more joyful for that.  
  
Leaning down, Cloud caressed her lips with his own, tasting the sweet honey of those very lips he had grown so attached to. In a way, Tifa was right. There may never be a moment sweeter than this one. But he didn't mind, not in the least bit. Because if he could extend this moment as far out as he could reach it, the bliss and happiness that was felt at this very timeframe would continue to flow in the next. Love, hope, bliss, destiny........it had all seemed so farfetched before. But now, it couldn't make itself seem more clear.  
  
Pulling back slowly, Cloud asked suddenly, without warning, "But seriously, I wasn't bad last night, was I?"  
  
  
Barrett Wallace stretched soundly as he sat up on his side of the large queen sized mattress. Today was the day he would help the once missing in action leader find a job to fulfill his share of the responsibilities. Today would be the start of a new day, and a new beginning for Cloud Strife. This time, the contemplating muscular man prayed to the heavens above that the savior of the planet wouldn't run away like a coward, again.  
  
"You're up already? But you don't have work today, why don't you lay in bed for a bit longer, a voice asked softly on the other side of Barrett's awakened form, a yawn soon making it's way known into the environment.  
  
Looking back at the other side, a smile crept somewhere underneath the stubble that grew ferociously quick on the dark man's face. Elmyra Gainsbourgh laid on the soft mattress with large green eyes staring up at the musing individual as long brown hair made it's way down her bare back in sound waves. If it wasn't known to the world that Aeris was adopted by this kindly woman, the flower girl would have been mistaken for her actual child born daughter. Once Aeris had sadly passed on, she had kept her mother duties in perspective and always had been there for Marlene, and even Barrett as well at times. It was only realized how much she meant to him when Elmyra was on the verge of leaving after Barrett had returned from saving the planet from the clutches of Sephiroth and destruction of meteor.   
  
"I have to. I told Cloud I'd help 'em get a job today," Barrett explained, in a very un-Barrett-like tone, patiently, before leaning back and placing a tender kiss on his wife's cheek tenderly, "but I promise I'll be back before dinner. Tell Marlene I'll help her with her homework, and if that ain't a shocker enough, tell 'er I'll be back to tuck her in too."  
  
Smiling securely underneath the blankets, Elmyra responded wholeheartedly, "She will be so happy to know that. You better fulfill your promise this time though. I don't want to give up her hope yet another day."  
  
"Don't worry, ya won't have to."  
  
Kissing her, once more, softly on the lips, the ex-AVALANCHE member rose up to his feet and prepared to kick Cloud's butt straight out of bed if needed to. Knowing Marlene was in school and having the advantage of his wife being awake, Barrett bellowed a warning, "You better get ya spiky ass outta that bed before I get in there or ya got hell to pay!"  
  
A smiling Barrett Wallace entered the bedroom expecting a slumbering version of Cloud Strife in the guest bedroom, but to his somewhat curiosity and dread, the spiky, blonde haired man was nowhere to be found. His smile suddenly vanished quicker than it appeared when he saw the sight ahead of him. The bed wasn't made, which gave an idea to most people that he had just gotten up and the dress shirt that was previously on he floor, was gone and nowhere to be seen. Horrid thoughts ran through the large man's head, but he almost immediately dismissed them. Cloud wouldn't have ran away again, not after he had just made a sudden appearance in Tifa and his own life. In a stereotypical way, he was blonde, but not completely without a clue. {I luv the blondes who are reading this, don't take it personal, please, it wasn't meant that way :o)}  
  
"Cloud? Where are ya man? Show up before I start thinkin' ya ran out on our asses again!"  
  
Not one sound came from the sleeping villa except for a curiously worried call from Elmyra, who was obviously still awake. Shouting a comment of reassurance, Barrett exited the room and passed by the empty bathroom and then proceeded to descend the short amount of steps, which would lead him straight into the living room. No sound of Cloud. It was as though he was just abducted in the middle of the night, no, more like vanished into thin air. Clothes and all.  
  
"I swear! If I even think that ya ran off again, don't even think of comin' back to us! Ya leave, I no longer know ya!"  
  
That threat still didn't bring forth the blonde he was hoping to see and that made him grow even more frustrated. He still didn't believe Cloud could have just walked out on them again, it just wasn't like him. Still, it wasn't like him the first time, but a second? No, he wouldn't have come back hoping for forgiveness if a second time was predicted in the stars. But the only question that could be asked, and hopefully answered, was, 'Where is he?'  
  
  
Cloud Strife laid in the guest bedroom listening to the water running in the bathroom right next door. He listened to practically everything that went on and actually caught what was occurring. Once he had heard a bar of soap, obviously escaping slippery hands, falling to the shower stall with a small _thud_. It would have been called pathetic, psychotic, or stalker in training to some people, but to others, who had actually experienced being in love, it was an everyday action. Just like breathing or eating, it was just as naturally subtle.  
  
The water stopped and a stall door could have been heard opening. Smiling, Cloud couldn't wait to see Tifa again. It had only been a half hour, but to the man in bed, it felt like a stretching and boundless eternity. He had never wanted been this attached to someone before and in his past lifetime, it would have been considered annoying in his mentality. But things were different now and if it were possible to fold the young barmaid up into a neat little package that would fit into his pocket securely, Cloud would surely have it done.  
  
"Tifa, I'm home!"  
  
A masculine voice and a door being slammed shut were heard from the down stairs living room, causing a once serene Cloud to shoot up out of bed precariously. As if on cue and perfect timing, may it be noticed, Tifa also emerged from the steamy bathroom in nothing but a satin white bathrobe and soaking wet hair, which clung to her neck for dear life, to match.   
  
As the blonde jumped up from the welcoming bed, the mentality of it being set on fire, Cloud and Tifa came face to face with worried and frightful expressions on their faces. Looking into the once beautiful frantic ruby eyes, but now suddenly a bit uglier from the blotches of unspeakable trepidation, he heard the brunette exclaim:  
  
"He's home!"  



	8. Heat Wave

The Thin Line Between  
by: Beatriz  
  
Chapter 8 : Heat Wave  
  
  
Nobody wants to be lonely, nobody wants to cry, my body's longing to hold you, so bad it hurts inside...  
- Ricky Martin and Christina Agulara  
  
  
I remember a time in my life when things used to be so simple. I was careless, devoted, and independent. A man came into my life and I automatically gave him my heart along with my loyalty. A two for one deal just for caring.....then he comes along.  
Tifa Lockheart looked upon the blonde man who stood ahead of her, a look of concern entwined with soon-to-be insanity engraved into her ruby eyes. What would happen to Cloud if the truth of their forbidden affair was revealed? His life would surely be over with, banishment from Kalm being a blessing. But what about her own well being? Not only would the name Lockheart be stained for just luckily, years yet to come, but the business she had worked so hard to establish and keep successful would come crumbling down on top of her. Life as she knew it would have no worth and her days would never luminate with the brilliant, warm light of the sun again.   
"Tifa, baby! Are you home?!"  
Hearing the soothing yet slightly rugged voice of her husband caused shivers to run down the brunette's spine. Guilt ravaged the depths of her stomach as voices of accusation invaded her personal thoughts and completely contradicted the beliefs that were planted so firmly within her mentality. It was driving Tifa to the edge where she was slowly but surely spiraling out of control and obviously soon, the spiraling would come to an end with the explosive finale of her crashing and burning.   
"Tifa?! So we're playing hide and seek huh? You know when I find you I expect a very nice reward for my troubles and patience!"  
As the petite woman pondered various ways to escape the undeniable humiliation the two would experience, rage simmered deep within Cloud Strife, to the core where anger was known to soon turn into a murderous tantrum. Just thinking about the mere image of Riley's hands on Tifa's lush face and his lips caressing her exquisite skin was more than he could stand. This would surely make him mad with envy and he couldn't even bring himself to imagine what precautions he would take if that jealousy one day blinded him.   
"Cloud, come with me! I have an idea," Tifa whispered loudly, snapping the young man out of his destructive reverie, while taking his large hand in her own.  
Opening the door to the compact room, the two lovers wasted no time and ran light-footed across the slim-bound hallway which lead them directly into the main bedroom. Tifa, being the ever-so-cautious one, quickly blocked the entrance of the room with the large, ivory colored door. Everything was unfolding according to the plan working in the brunette's head so far, but then again, not even five minutes had passed and complications could soon insure.   
"Oh so you're upstairs, huh? Well, I'm sure you'll get a surprise visitor very soon!"  
"Tifa, listen! We don't have to hide this anymore! Me and you can be together, you don't have to worry about him, I'll protect you," Cloud exclaimed, cupping Tifa's face anxiously with his shivering hands, "me and you can finally have the life we both always wanted..."  
"Teef, you better be in a good hiding spot!"  
Staring into the compounds of Cloud's sapphire eyes, Tifa blinked back tears of desperation in refusal of allowing him to see her in such a weak state. She wanted so badly to run into the arms of the blonde directly in front of her, but it was a selfish desire that shouldn't be felt. Selfish desires were perfectly healthy to have, some even dignified to act out, but her desire would ruin too many lives. No, ruin was a pleasant word, this secret would leave in barely reconstructible shambles, the hopes and dreams of the friends who had taken care of her practically all her life.  
"Cloud, just go. We'll talk about this later."  
"Promise?"  
Growing frustrated, Tifa exclaimed, "Yes, I promise! Now please leave before Riley sees you!"  
Smiling softly and warmly enough to melt the ice in the beautiful ruby eyes, Cloud used his fingertips to ever so slightly whisk away the strand of partially dry hair out of Tifa's eye. She was so beautiful at this very moment as the sun showered her body with brilliant rays of light from it's surface. It was impossible for the heart within the ex-SOLDIER's rib cage to beat any faster. In all actuality, if it would increase speed just a tiny bit further, the necessary muscle would explode into nothingness.  
"Cloud...."  
"Tifa! Ready or not here I come!"  
Scooping up the sprawled clothes on the floor, Tifa threw it at Cloud's bare chest after noticing it would be inappropriate for him to walk around in just his boxers. Entertaining, but very inappropriate.   
"Now go! We'll talk later," the bartender exclaimed desperately, pushing her love towards the window with all the strength she had within her. She really didn't want Cloud to leave, especially like this, but what has to be done, has to be done, without a doubting conscience.  
"Wow, I really was THAT bad huh? I mean no breakfast or kiss or anything. But also, let's add the fact of the matter that you're about fifteen seconds into pushing me out a window. You know a guy could get offended with this kind of mistreatment," Cloud mocked jokingly as he continued to allow himself to be pushed towards the opened window.  
"I'll give you an IOU on the breakfast ordeal and correction, you're about five seconds from plummeting out the window. And for that smart ass remark, I'll make sure to put a little muscle into the tossing out segment of our plan to make sure you hit the ground a little faster."  
"Promise?"  
"Scout's honor," Tifa countered, lips twisting into a lopsided grin as her eyes twinkled with a new found satisfaction. Verbally sparing was Cloud and Tifa's trademark, but that was only for the reason that both were known for their strong wit. In their own twisted way, verbal abuse was just as entertaining to them as playing kickball was to a small child.  
Leaning forward, Cloud brushed his lips against the full awaiting ones in his reach passionately. It was as though he was trying to burn his essence into her just by the slip of the tongue. In a way, he didn't want it like this. Sure he received Tifa's heart just like he had intended to, but it would never be justifiable to actually hold her. Their love and devotion to each other would always be a dirty little secret that could never be washed clean. They would always hide in shame, with nothing to hope for but the next night spent together.  
"Tifa. Are you in here," a masculine voice asked curiously, opening the door to the master bedroom swiftly and almost discreetly.  
Spinning around from the window, a huge, partially fake smile exploded onto Tifa's face as she exclaimed with glee, "Riley! You're home!"  
Returning the smile, the much taller man held out his arms while his wife threw herself into his broad chest. Breathing in the fresh scent that was his soul mate, he whispered softly into her ear, "I missed you so much, you wouldn't even imagine."  
Grinning sadly, the small brunette replied equally quietly, "Baby, I missed you too. You were all I ever thought about...."  
  
  
Whistling a joyous tune, Cloud Strife put on the dress shirt hanging limply over his arm, not even bothering to button it up. Spinning around and doing a quick back tuck, the young man began to almost expertly dance by quickly shuffling his feet. He knew many of Kalm's citizens, who were already up and at it, were glaring at his antics in pure shock and most likely receiving thoughts of throwing him into the nearest asylum for life. But he didn't care because nothing mattered. Not anybody's ill-thoughts of him. Not the battles and injury that were behind him. Not what may happen in the near-future. Nothing. All that mattered was he loved someone, who loved him back.  
"Good-morning, Cloud!"  
Turning to face the source of the sound, Cloud's face brightened a little more, "Good-morning, Veronica!"  
"Why don't you come on into my cafe and have some breakfast on the house, maybe then you can explain to me what has gotten you up so early in the morning with such a beautiful smile on your face," the elderly woman explained, while stopping the sweeping motions of the broom abruptly to extend the invitation.  
"I don't know. Barrett still doesn't even know I'm up yet, plus I know how he gets when nobody tells him where they went," the blonde replied while contemplating the situation at hand, glance never leaving the blue of Veronica's soft eyes.  
"Oh, c'mon, sweetheart! Barrett may be very intimidating looking, but he is a real gentleman at heart."  
"Yeah, Barrett'll be a real gentleman at heart when Sephiroth decides to make bonfires with firewood instead of local towns," Cloud murmured, rolling his eyes at the comparison between the two very-different-yet-somewhat-simliar characters. Sephiroth's too crazy to ever choose a peaceful way of doing things over a violent act as Barrett would never use another word to substitute for a foul one.  
"What was that, honey?"  
"Nothing. OK, I'll take up your offer, let's go inside," he responded quickly, making sure Veronica didn't have time to put together the puzzle pieces of the contradicting bash against Barrett.  
Smiling warmly, the small woman placed the broom against the wall of her cafe and proceeded to enter it's compounds with a willing Cloud right behind her.  
  
  
A reflection of Tifa Lockheart stared back sadly, ruby eyes almost gaining a deceitful glare to them.  
She hated it, being so weak as to refuse a strong temptation. For her lack of strength, consequences of an undeniable guilt was being suffered. A guilt that Tifa didn't know she could bear any further, and unfortunately, that emotion would surely crack her will.  
"Don't look so upset, babe, you're not THAT bad looking," Riley teased while wrapping his strong arms around the thoughtful girl's shoulders and placing his chin on the crook of her neck gently.  
"At least I have some kind of attractiveness to me which I can't really say the same for you....wait...no, for a second I thought I might have saw something that would've completely prove me wrong but it was just the misplacement of the light, my mistake," Tifa shot back, quirking an eyebrow and sticking out her tongue at the mirror for her husband to see the mischief written all over her face.  
"Oh yeah!"  
Moving his arms toward her lanky waist, he picked a squealing Tifa up out of the chair and over his shoulder playfully. Spinning, he heard the majestic chimes of his wife's laughter which only made him turn more rapidly while exclaiming, "So who's the most attractive guy you have ever met in you're life again?!"  
Laughing, Tifa pretended to ponder her decision and immediately proclaiming, "I would have to say Josh Hartnett....wow, what a man!"  
"Josh Hartnett?!"  
"What, did you expect me to even consider you as an example for the perfect desire? Please, place that idea in the lost hopes category of your brain's never-going-to-happen vicinity, right next to the dream date with Jennifer Love Hewitt," the hanging brunette mocked, a large smile placed securely on her face as eyes fluttered open and shut from the constant blood rushing to her head.  
"Jennifer Love Hewitt? Honey, you're all I ever dream and fantasize about," Riley wooed, continuing to allow Tifa to hang from his shoulder.  
"Aw, you love me so much you're making up crap I want to hear."  
Falling onto the large bed the married couple shared with a loud laugh, the muscular man held his love in his arms while nuzzling his face into her neck gently. Trailing butterfly kisses down Tifa's slender neck and onto her collar bone, Riley whispered softly onto her skin, "You are all I want. You're all I need....baby, you're everything to me. Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn't even compare to what you have."  
Smiling tenderly, she allowed her husband to kiss her baby soft skin with ease. This was why Tifa loved Riley so much. Why every time Cloud kissed her lips, she would feel a shockwave of unspeakable guilt mixed with the already visible searing pleasure. Why she couldn't look into the glorious aquamarine eyes she had grown so very attached to anymore. Why thoughts of ending the affair Cloud and herself were having played itself in her mind.   
"And you're all I ever wanted. Don't ever forget that," Tifa Lockheart proclaimed just as softly as her husband, cupping his face with her hand dearly, and looking down at his serene features, "You, Riley, all I could ever want in a man."  
Sharing an affectionate kiss, Riley pulled back with a cocky grin pulling at his lips, "So then that does mean I do qualify as the perfect desire, huh?"  
Running her fingers through his thick hair, Tifa grinned with a playful roll of her eyes, "I guess you could get penciled into that category...bottom of the list penciled, but it's quite an accomplishment that you even made the list."  
Laughing at her wit, Riley tackled a giggling Tifa onto the bed, both lovers sharing a moment they hadn't experienced in the longest time.  
  
  
"So, dear, why the large smile?"  
"Excuse me?"  
Cloud wanted to play ignorance for as long as he could. The longer he could avoid revealing any information about himself and the affair he had placed himself in, the better. He couldn't afford slipping from over-involvement in the facts, god knew how excited he would become, so it would just be better to avoid any chatting on the subject. Period. Finito...so if it were that simple, why couldn't the insecurity of the awkward moment be shaken off just as easily?  
"Why the large smile dear? I mean it's not even 8 o'clock in the morning yet and you're outside in the open doing a little dance," Veronica exclaimed amused, blue eyes dancing with amusement as she poured the newly steaming coffee into the mug in front of the contemplating blonde.  
"Yesterday...I saw an old friend, someone who I cared deeply about," the ex-SOLDIER began while spinning the coffee mug slowly around by the handle. A look of hardness suddenly engraved into the compounds of the beautiful sapphires on his face as his mouth twisted into a scowl of haunting irritation, "I left her a long time ago, for my own selfish desires. She's well, but suffered a lot when I was gone."  
"...Tifa?"  
All Cloud could do was nod at the revelation before continuing on with the story which was marked upon his heart with burning sensations, "Tifa was good to me when we were growing up, she never ceased to amaze me. She took care of me when I was sick, watched over me when I didn't trust myself to be alone, and...loved me when no one else would. A year ago, a very good friend of ours passed away in an accident...I was told she fell into a serious depression not only from dealing of the traumatic experience of loosing someone she loved equally to a daughter's status, but also dealing with my departure. Tifa blamed herself for my leaving, thinking it was something she did, and I couldn't feel any more responsible about taking away two should-have-been joyful years of her life."  
This all shocked Veronica, hitting her hard. She had known Tifa Lockheart to be a very pensive and secretive woman but never imagined so much had happened in her past. The elderly woman's heart bled with sympathy for the brunette as she grabbed onto the locket hanging between her breasts in need of strength and support.   
"Cloud, this is not your fault. I'm sure you wouldn't have just left Tifa if you could predict the future. Nobody has that power and what you did just happened to have been in the cards destiny had to throw at you....destiny took you away, but it also brought you back. Think about that," Veronica comforted before placing a soft hand on Cloud's arm reassuringly, "I have to clean up a little before the cafe officially opens. Please do continue eating and if you want anything else, help yourself."  
"Yeah, sure," Cloud nodded, taking a last gulp of the coffee before him, "I have to get going anyway. Anymore time away from Barrett I think he'll start getting ideas. Thanks for the coffee, Veronica."  
"No problem, dear."  
Standing up from the stool, the lanky blonde turned his back on the blue eyed woman who had offered him so much to exit the cafe. All that could be heard ringing throughout his memory was, 'destiny sent you away, but it also brought you back.' In a way it was true, but obviously since Cloud Strife was involved, getting what he wanted involved a twisted consequence as well. A consequence which would, in many eyes, be his tragic demise.  
"Cloud?!"  
Cloud stopped immediately out of curiosity, but did not turn around to face the source of the sound. It wasn't out of disrespect, but fear. People who had ever encountered the AVALANCHE member with the sapphire eyes had said how dangerously expressive they were. Emotions could not be hidden within the core of the ocean blue, only locked securely away.   
"If you ever feel like life's getting to you and you need someone to talk to, I'll always be here."  
Those words. It all sounded so very familiar, such constant words in Cloud Strife's life. Why did people say that? Most didn't even mean it yet they still said it. It's as if they honestly cared what happened in another person's life and experienced the pain that individual did. When in all actuality, they didn't....they couldn't even relate might as well feel the emotions that were rushing in you. Yet people still make their speeches in a hopeful attempt to show some kind of humanity.  
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."  
Pushing open the door and stepping out into the bright morning sun, Cloud exited the cafe in hopeful attempts to escape the knives of his past that were continuously deepening internal scars. One day, the scars would evaporate, but for now, he would bathe in the warm crimson liquid of it and relive the mistake that he had constantly wanted to take back.  
  
{AN : Hey guys, I am so sorry for the wait. A long wait, I know, but I had a lot of personal things to deal with here in reality so now that I'm back on the ball, I'll have the story done in no time. Promise they'll be no more vacations. This chapter isn't that interesting or long but I wanted to set up a falling action sequence and get a chapter out to you so you don't think I'm leaving you guys hanging. So, until the next chapter, I'm hoping you guys enjoy the rest of the story. C Ya!} 


	9. Cinnamon and Vodka

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 9 : Cinnamon and Vodka  
  
  
There's a Halo above my head  
Spinning me 'round  
'Cause I don't know if I'm alive or dead  
A dagger in my hand   
Bleeding me dry  
- Oleander  
  
  
"Where the hell have ya been?! Do ya know what I was thinkin'?! I was sittin' here thinkin' your spiky ass left town again!"  
Cloud recoiled at the rising decibels the older man's voice was emitting. He didn't cringe at the fear of Barrett's threatening voice, only at the fact that if the volumes increased any further, he would pop the ear drums of the ex-SOLDIER.  
"Whoa, Barrett! Relax! I'm sorry I didn't say anything about leaving, but I didn't wanna wake you up," the blonde desperately reasoned, trying to reason with his beyond furious comrade while also trying to cease his ears from ringing.  
"Relax?! It's takin' all the will power in me not to blast your ass back to the other side of this world," Barrett exclaimed, his gun arm shaking violently as if it had a mind of it's own, "now tell me! Where the hell were ya?! What was so important that your ass couldn't wait until I got up to do?! Ya tell me a good excuse and I just might cut ya some slack!"  
Cloud froze in place, unsure of what to tell the interrogator. He couldn't just say he was at Tifa's this early in the morning, how would that sound? No, he wouldn't say anything about that. He wouldn't be responsible for ruining the life his love worked so hard in building for herself, even if that meant lying right to Barrett's or anybody else's face.  
"No reason. I'm not used to sleeping a lot so I got up early. I didn't wanna make any noise to wake up you, Elmyra, or Marlene so I snuck out the bedroom window and just went for a walk around town to explore."  
"That's it?"  
He stopped for a minute, and immediately guilt surfaced itself into his transparent ocean eyes. But just as quickly as the guilt made itself known, a vision of Tifa entered his mind, and the guilt was immediately washed away by the strive of pure determination. Barrett may have given him another chance and a home away from the streets, but Cloud's loyalty and heart belonged to Tifa. In the end, that would rule against all the other opposing forces in his life.  
"That's it."  
Grumbling, his arm quit it's furious quiver and surprisingly remained very still. Even though Barrett's body remained serene and immobile, his dark eyes still kept it's passionate flare, giving anybody who ever glanced into them the chills.  
"Fine! But don't do it again, understand?! I don't wanna have a heart attack before Marlene even graduates grade school, do ya hear me?!"  
Nodding, Cloud crossed his arms across his chest expectantly and murmured in an audible voice, "Loud and clear."  
  
  
It was a warm day in Kalm, allowing children to run outside and play while adults drank a cool glass of lemonade and just caught up with old acquaintances. The sky glowed a lively shade of blue with hardly no clouds in sight, only the vast shower of the sun's rays gracing it's atmosphere. Kalm had not experienced a day this glorious since before the meteor incident, but nobody complained. It was actually refreshing to feel the sun's warmth on their faces instead of winter's bitter frostbite.  
Tifa Lockheart exited her small villa to become enwrapped in the warmth of the weather, a small smile forming over her face once she noticed the small children playing a game of tag. It's been the longest time since she had seen the town's children outside enjoying themselves. The winter had placed many unwanted restrictions on their social life, which was another reason to praise the gods for the gift of sunshine.  
Sighing, the brunette watched over the town and smiled. Three years did a lot of good to this town. Kalm went from a trashed wasteland into a prosperous booming tourist attraction. There were moments in time when people felt life as they knew it would be over, for there was no hope in rebuilding their destroyed shops in time to support their families. Fortunately, fate had other plans in their future instead of poverty. Miracles had happened and life for the inhabitants went back into swift motion.  
Tifa walked away from the villa and down the steps, which would lead her to the bar she had considered her life. Miracles had happened for her as well, but not without suffering immaculate losses for it. It was coming closer and closer to the three year anniversary of Yuffie Kisargi's death, and the bartender couldn't help but feel bitter towards it all. Sometimes, she would pretend it was all a nightmare and picture an alternate reality where the ninja was actually living a happy life in Wutai with her father and accomplishing her goal in life, snatching materia. But then the members of AVALANCHE would come together and honor her memory at the grave site. That was when the false reality would shatter, and all that Tifa would be left with is the painful realization that Yuffie wasn't living a happy life with her father or snatching materia. She lying lifeless in the ground as her spirit floated eternally in the lifestream...with Aeris.  
Thinking all of those haunting thoughts brought tears to the bartender's ruby eyes as her hands shook while desperately trying to unlock the door to the bar. It was hard reliving the past because in all actuality it was nothing worth reminiscing about. Someone she had loved dearly had died.....and the one person who could have brought her through it was mysteriously gone. Three years, and she still had nightmares. Childish? Maybe, but then again what was so childish about not being able to move to the next level of grieving?  
Tossing the keys onto one of the unoccupied tables, Tifa immediately swept her hands across her eyes to erase any visibility of unshed tears. Buisness didn't need a weak employee/manager. She may have lost her way, but she would be damned if she lost the fruits of life she had worked so hard in achieving.   
Beginning her obligations, the AVALANCHE member began to flip the chairs from off the table and onto the floor, right side up. Charlene wasn't working today, so Tifa would need all the strength within her to deal with the half-assed customers which would happen to show up at the bar. Her fellow employee never really dealt with the customers, as due to previous bad experiences, but she would always be there just in case the passive owner needed back-up.   
"Are ya guys open yet or do ya want me to come back?"  
Tifa jumped up slightly as she spun around on pure instinct. There at the doorway stood the infamous foul mouthed pilot and his pregnant newlywed wife. Happiness immediately registered itself into the young woman's eyes as she dropped the chair in hand and quickly made her way over to give the older man and his counterpart a hug.   
It had been a year since she had seen Cid Highwind. He looked practically the same, except over the year it appeared a weight loss was experienced. The pilot's once perfectly combed blonde hair was now shaggy, a pair of goggles still attached to his head. He looked a little older and the wisdom and experience engraved into his piercing blue eyes almost seemed to make him more pensive instead of loud mouthed. But then again, it was Cid Highwind. Seeing wasn't always believing.  
"How ya been, Tifa? You look good," Cid proclaimed, wrapping an arm around Shera's shoulders happily with a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.  
"I've been doing pretty good. How have you two been, I see you finally tied the knot," Tifa commented, the same warm smile remaining on her face diligently.  
"Yeah, we eloped. We've been doing good too, as you can see we're expecting a lil one soon. Cid Jr. here's gonna make his daddy proud."  
Tifa smiled even brighter once he saw the once proud pilot bend down and rub Shera's bulged stomach, making baby noises to it. She even gave a little laugh when Shera smacked Cid over the head, proclaiming, "Firstly, we're not calling our child Cid Jr., secondly, it might not even be a boy, it could be a girl you know?! Sheesh, men, always assuming things!"  
"Wow! Harmones are really kicking into overdrive," Cid murmured before receiving another smack to the head by his adoring wife.  
She would have never been able to see it coming. Cid and Shera together...married with a child on the way! It almost seemed like an episode of Survior : The Wedding Edition. Who, in the end, would survive the marriage? This was thought of only because it seemed like those two were always down each other's throats, especially back in Rocket Town when AVALANCHE had first met the cranky pilot. Destiny really does have a way of surprising you and Cid and Shera Highwind were the proof needed for that revelation.  
"Would you guys like something to eat or drink," Tifa asked politely as she motioned the couple to enter the bar and have a seat.  
"Yeah, peanut butter and carrots with apple sauce. I've been having a craving for that all day," Shera spoke up without shame, accepting her husband's help to get up onto the barstool.  
"Sure, and you Cid?"  
"I'll just have a glass of Vodka, straight up," Cid ordered, also taking a seat on the stool besides the pregnant woman.  
Nodding, Tifa automatically went to work, fixing Cid's vodka first. The day was already starting out on a good, normal notion and that was what she needed right now. Normalcy seemed so sweet only because that was what life was lacking right at this moment. Many people complain about life being too normal at a boring extent. God how she wished she had an opportunity to exchange lives with an unhappy individual for just one day.  
"So, Tif, what've you been up to ever since....well, ya know...Yuffie's funeral?"  
Pausing with the shot glass in hand, Tifa's mind traveled back to the funeral where she last saw everyone. Barrett. Red XIII. Cid. Vincent. Reeve..... It was a dark and depressing day. Not one beam of sunlight shone in the sky while rain drizzled to the earth as though the heavens were crying for the Earth's loss. Tifa could remember every emotion and detail of the funeral, but that didn't surprise her. It was something she expected. Barrett's arm was around her protectively as Red XIII sat by her leg comfortingly. She could remember feeling cold even though the temperature was humid, and feeling her blood freeze over once she saw the last glance of Yuffie's pale face before closing the casket and lowering her permanently into the ground.   
"Tifa?! Earth to Tifa!"  
Shaking her head, the movie screen in the compounds of Tifa's mind went blank as sanity was slowly bestowed upon her once again. Looking at Cid with an unknowingly scarred expression, the bartender offered a forced smile of reassurance, praying it would keep Cid and Shera from exploring deeper into her mentality. Her thoughts and emotions were her own, and nobody had the backstage pass to experience them, not even Cloud.  
"I'm sorry guys, my mind just left my body for a second there," the brunette countered quickly before placing the shot of vodka on the bar near Cid's grasp. Hopefully, the drink would soothe the pilot's curiosity enough to forget about asking anymore questions.  
"Ya know, I'm hurtin' too, Tifa. Yuffie might've been a brat sometimes but I still cared....it's alright to grieve or to upset or just down right pissed, it was a tragic loss...."  
"Stop! I am OK, alright? I'm fine," Tifa exclaimed suddenly, not allowing the blonde in front of her to finish his lecture on the joys of 'moving on.' She had already heard this countless of times before. With her mother. With her father. She didn't need to hear it with Yuffie as well.  
"Tifa, honey. I know you don't wanna hear this, but if you don't let people in, you'll never be able to live your life happily again," Shera soothed, taking the younger woman's hand in her own while giving it a reassuring squeeze.  
Shaking her head, the offered hand was gently brushed off before the grieving woman whispered, "Too late...It's too late."  
Tifa Lockheart walked out from behind the bar and quickly out the door with Cid and Shera begging her to stop and talk about it. It was too late to talk about it because no matter what people said or tried to say, what happened, happened, and there was nothing anybody could say or do that could make it all right again.  
  
  
Cloud Strife wandered around aimlessly, kicking a spare pebble, which laid on the gravel, in a bored fashion. Being done dealing with Barrett and unable to see Tifa until nightfall, the world around the blonde seemed too bland for words to describe. He wanted the time to fly by, so he could see his love's face again and caress her skin with gentleness only a baby could appreciate. What he wouldn't do to kiss her just for one-second, to taste the honey from her moist lips.   
Smiling shortly, the blonde took one last drag of the cigarette which hung limply from his lips before tossing it aside like a useless ragdoll. Maybe he should use the time to look for a job or take up a hobby besides battling the local beasts. Cloud had nothing against an old fashioned battle, but he needed to look at other possibilities which didn't involve a sword. He knew Tifa would be overjoyed when she heard him say that because it was a proven fact that even though the hot fisted woman liked to prove her might, she would do without if possible.   
Placing his hand in his pocket, he felt the small book he was looking for and decided to leave town for a little bit. Many things have changed since Cloud Strife had left his friends three years ago. Along with taking up a habit of cigarette smoking, the blonde also began poetic writing as a hobby. As smoking a cigarette calmed his nerves, poetic writing kept his sanity for escaping him. It also gave him something to do on nights when he couldn't sleep, but also couldn't move any further in his travels.  
As he thought of a topic to write of, Cloud averted directions and began to walk north of town to the exit. Beginning his destination, he heard soft muffled cries coming from the steps near Tifa's bar. He wasn't really in the mood to get into anybody's business about their problems but the humanity in him told him the exact opposite. So turning back around, the tall individual walked towards the tunnel where the bar was located at.  
"Hey, you all right," Cloud asked as he continued to approach the sobbing woman as discreetly as possible, not wanting to frighten her in any way. The woman was young, about his age, with short dark hair and an apparent lanky frame. It was when this young woman revealed her face from within her arms that gave the blonde the shock of a lifetime.  
"Tifa?!"  
"Cloud, just leave me alone for now, OK? I have to think about some things," Tifa whispered before placing her face back in her arms miserably.  
"I'm not leaving you alone, Teef. What's wrong?"  
Using this opportunity to move besides his childhood friend, Cloud placed a muscular arm around her quivering shoulders gently. He was so close he could smell the scent of rose and jasmine emitting from her. It intoxicated him to limits beyond belief.  
"Cloud, please...I don't wanna talk about it...."  
"If you talk about it, it'll help. You know you can tell me anything because I'll always be there for you," Cloud whispered in her ear, giving her a small, innocent kiss on the cheek while focusing his eyes intensely on her. He hoped that was all that was needed to break her into telling him what those tears were for.  
"I know...But some of this pain I feel, is directed towards you, Cloud. I don't wanna say anything I'll regret," the petite woman explained, eyes moving from her love's own to the shops ahead of her.  
Shocked at the comment, he pursued this further, not caring what he had to do or say to get as much information needed, "If I'm causing you pain, Tifa, then tell me! Tell me what you feel! C'mon, don't be a coward because I know that's not what you are!"  
"Coward," Tifa proclaimed angrily, pushing Cloud's arm angrily away from her body as she began to stand up for a confrontation, "if anyone's a coward it's you!"  
Standing up as well, Cloud refused to back down from this challenge, "How am I a coward?!"  
"How are you a coward?! You left us, Cloud! You ran away because you claimed you had to find yourself when in all actuality you were scared of getting attached to anyone! You were scared that if you loved anyone so deeply, you would loose them like you lost Aeris....Well we did loose someone, and you weren't even there to say good-bye to her! You left me behind, Cloud, and you broke your promise when you didn't come back when I needed you."  
There was an awkward silence for a moment as Cloud stood there dumbfounded. What Tifa had said was entirely true, not just partially. He was scared of getting attached. He didn't even say good-bye to Yuffie.....and most drastically of all, he broke the promise he had swore to always keep. His best friend and lover suffered because he wasn't there to pick her up when she fell down. While Cloud was busy traveling the world and seeing the sights before him, Tifa was right here, suffering because who she needed wasn't there for her.  
"Tifa....I'm so sorry for what I did....I should have never left you...I wish I could take it back, I mean if I could, I would in a heartbeat..."  
"But you can't...you can't take back all the pain you brought. What happened, happened and that can never be changed. So save your regrets and never speak of them again."  
"Tifa..wait!"  
"Cloud..."  
"You fuckin' son of a damn fuckin' bitch!"  
Cloud recognized that voice all too well. It was husky and vile at the moment, slowly but surely drowning itself in a momentous rage. Plus the profanity was through the roof, so that could only most definitely be one person.  
"Cid, how have...."  
The prodigal leader never had a chance to finish that question because before he knew it, the fellow member of AVALANCHE sprung himself at the unsuspecting Cloud Strife. 


	10. Bitter

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 10 - Bitter  
  
  
In my heartsent my confession, my condolence,  
You're indefinite you're incompetent inconsiderate.  
You're so childish,  
I will push you, out of what is real, out of my head.  
You can stick and drown at your residence of disappointments,  
Are of yours to come.  
So embrace them oh my shallow one today,  
If I could change anything then I would change everything.  
These bitter days shall remain.  
- Nine Days  
  
Cid Highwind rushed forward angrily, the obvious target being the confused yet not helpless blonde ahead. The older man's nostrils flared as he charged, eyes burning with so much rage, the baby blues almost seemed to, in an intimidating way, bulge out. Cloud wasn't surprised, Barrett and Cid were two of a kind, both containing the hot blooded temper of a bull which had just caught sight of a red cloak. The only difference between the blonde and the dark skinned man was Barrett preferred to battle with a constant string of obscenities while Cid took matters into his own hands, or in this case, fists.  
"You son of a fuckin' bitch! How dare you come back after you left us all hangin' like that?! You asshole, we don't need you, so get you're spiky ass outta town and never come back," the pilot screamed in determined fury while tackling the unsuspecting AVALANCHE leader to the concrete floor roughly.  
"Cid, stop," a standing-by Tifa exclaimed worriedly while placing a comforting arm around the highly emotional mother-to-be besides her, "let Cloud tell you his story, I'm sure you'll reconsider beating the crap out of him after hearing what has to be said!"  
Throwing another punch on the willing blonde underneath him, Cid slowly began to realize Cloud wasn't even making the slightest effort to fight back. He knew from definite experience that if Cloud Strife wanted to be unhanded, Cloud Strife would get his way easily. But why wasn't he fighting back now? It was enough to make the pilot stop his fist in midair, a look of question written all over his face.  
"What the hell are you doing kid, fight back!"  
With a crimson stained mouth and dazed eyes, Cloud focused all his attention on the frustrated man above him and simply responded, "No."  
"No?! Why the fuckin' hell not," Cid screamed, slamming down his quivering fist into the concrete floor directly beside the injured blonde's head.  
"No, I won't fight you back. If kicking my ass gives you satisfaction, than be satisfied," Cloud Strife whispered audibly, glaring at Cid Highwind with intensely burning sapphire eyes.  
"Shit..."  
Lifting himself up, the foul mouthed man's temper shot down incredulously. As he muttered more obscenities, Cid removed the hanging cigarette from behind his ear and placed it fluctuantly between his chapped lips.  
"Please, you'll understand these really strange times if you just hear Cloud out," Tifa explained firmly, Shera still placed securely in her welcoming embrace.  
Taking a drag from the harmless looking yet life-shortening stick, Cid Highwind blew out the excess smoke and turned to face the competent barmaid, a look of disbelief making itself known slowly, yet surely.  
"Let me get this straight. Your lifelong, childhood friend 'abandons' you without a single notice of what his whereabouts just might so happen to be and you welcome the bastard back with open arms when he just finds it convenient to show his face again? Have you been sneaking some swigs of your inventory in that bar of yours or have you completely lost the rarity of common sense within that pretty little head of yours?"  
"Cid, since I find reason to believe the excessive amount of nicotine you've been consuming since you're fetal stage of life has finally effected what little brain power you have left within you, I'm gonna let that little jeer towards my ego slide. But if you would just take your head from out of your ass for one-second and see what's right in front of you in the real word than maybe you wouldn't jump to assumptions and things would make more sense to you."  
Taken aback by the once bashful brunette's feisty comment, the pilot tossed the almost completely smoked cigarette to the ground besides him and immediately recovered from the blow to his manhood.  
"Fine! Tell me your fuckin' story, but I can't promise I'll contain myself from finishing the job of sending you to the intensive care unit," Cid growled impatiently as he crossed his arms over his broad chest stubbornly.  
Regaining his composure, the slightly beaten blonde arose from the dusty gravel, brushing himself off in the process. He noticed Tifa move forward to help him stand, but Cloud's hand immediately shot up, signaling her to stop her movements. In his mentality and deepest regrets, he deserved whatever intense physical abuse was to come. Cid was right, he had abandoned everybody when they needed him the most, and even though every person within his circle of friends would forgive Cloud for his premeditated yet spontaneous action, he wasn't so sure he would be able to forgive himself.  
"Listen, Cid...Things have been far from easy for you guys especially since....Yuffie's death," Cloud began, wiping the blood from his mouth quickly before continuing his ramble, "but things haven't been simple for me either. I was lost, man, I didn't know what I was doing here. I mean, Sephiroth was gone, meteor destroyed, and no more threats resurfacing. When Sephiroth told me that I was just a clone, that I wasn't really who I thought I was all these years, Cloud Strife died. Then Tifa went inside my subconscience to fix what was wrong, I thought my life was finally back on track, and it was until two years ago when I started having doubts. Those doubts sent me to this un-conscience stage of selfish reason. Those doubts were what made me leave you all behind. It was a stupid move on my behalf, but it was all that I could do before loosing whatever sanity was still lurking in me."  
Everyone was deathly quiet, still slowly processing the information that was just revealed. It wasn't something that was worth pensively thinking about, but for some odd reason, it gave the three coherent individuals an inescapable comfort to be silent.   
"I'm sorry that I caused you all so much pain, that was the last thing I intended to happen. But for once, I couldn't think about everyone else's emotions and opinions over my own because finding out who I really was was the only thing that gave me the drive to go on," the considerate blonde explained, "but even though my drive was my identity, you all were my final solution. Searching through every section of the world, I ended up back here because ironically after two years of desperately trying to figure out where I stand, I end up right where I started."  
"Kid, it's not easy figuring out where you stand in life. Hell, it took me close to 38 years to get me where I belong, and throughout those 38 years I did absolutely nothing to speed up the process. Relax and enjoy the ride 'cuz you're young and if you rush the natural order you're gonna look back and regret all the moves you made," Cid proclaimed, pointing his finger at Cloud expectantly before retreating with Shera back into the bar, "think about it."  
Watching the couple exit the once awkward scene, Tifa gave a small and temperate smile before refocusing her gaze back on the blonde haired-blue eyed man that had made his way back into her life.  
"He's right you know," Cloud whispered, keeping his eyes intensely locked on the raven-haired girl ahead of him.  
"About what?"  
"About everything....about not rushing the natural order, about just enjoying the passing of your life.....I'm only 24 and I already regret some of the moves I made."  
Pausing for a moment, Tifa shook her head in denial, "Everyone has regrets, Cloud, because everyone makes mistakes in their lives that they wish they could take back. But with those regrets and constant mistakes, you learn to appreciate the little things life has to offer without taking them for granted. It's a vicious cycle that just maybe one day you'll learn to accept."  
"I do regret a lot of things in my life, but I have never regretted anything more than leaving you behind. I wish I could have just expressed myself to someone other than my reflection in the mirror...maybe, just maybe things could have been so much better."  
"There's no use tormenting yourself for past mistakes. You can never change what you've done and it would just be best for you to move forward and fix what you broke than completely giving up hope on yourself and whatever destiny has in store for you. Life's a lot better when you're not dwelling on the past, so I'm thinking you should give getting away from bitter regrets a try sometime. I think you'll find the results suprisingly relieving."  
Smiling softly, Cloud moved forward and gathered his childhood friend into his muscular arms before placing his cheek on Tifa's and whispering into her ear, "I don't need to get away from bitter regrets to get my relief. All I need is standing right here with me."  
Wrapping her thin arms around Cloud's shoulders, tears blurred Tifa's vision as she remembered the promise that was made to herself just this morning and how just by a few soothing words, was immediately thrown out the imaginary window of her mind. Will power, when it came to this man, didn't come easy and the tears that were coming to her eyes weren't from the sheer happiness of the warmth she received when the man she loved said those comforting words to her but from the recognition that she would have to soon find the courage within her to let that go.  
"I should go back in the bar, Cid and Shera are expecting me," the ruby eyed woman proclaimed firmly, backing away reluctantly from the warm embrace that almost seemed to make her knees knock.  
"Yeah, I was going to get out of town for a little while too, so I guess we'll just meet up tonight like usual," Cloud questioned, a mischievous smile engraved on his face, "unless you're plagued with the constant fear of me being more than you can handle, I mean if that's the case let me reassure you I had time to experiment my talents beforehand."  
"And I'm sure you're 'talents' haven't gone to waste. The local prostitutes must've enjoyed a challenge and maybe even a little side lesson in new techniques in the process," Tifa teased with a quirked eyebrow, "oh, and word of advice, you don't need a new 'talent' escapade, you need a pharmacy."  
Winking, the sarcastic blonde commented, "When I take your professional adivce, I'll be sure to give the pharmacist your name. I might just get a 2-for-1 discount."  
Smiling, Tifa watched Cloud blow her a kiss playfully, turn around, and make his way towards the Kalm entrance. As she watched him go, the smile of glee soon evaporated and was replaced with a look of concern. This was going to be the hardest thing she ever had to do, if in all actuality, she actually could do it.  
"Please...give me the strength to do what's right..."  
With that plea whispered to the brilliantly shining sky above, Tifa Lockheart turned slowly around and made her way back into the small bar.  
  
As the two lovers departed from each other's embrace and presence all at once, a pair of blue eyes watched angrily from the window of the local cafe with contemplating tactics. 


	11. I Love You....I Love You Not

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 11 - I Love You...I Love You Not  
  
I thought that we would just be friends  
Things will never be the same again  
It's just the beginning, it's not the end  
Things will never be the same again  
It's not a secret anymore  
Now we've open up the door  
Starting tonight and from now on  
We'll never, never be the same again  
  
- Mel C  
  
The stars shone above in the night sky, almost so brilliantly, it was blinding. Tifa Lockheart escaped the compounds of the dark bar and closed up behind her. It had been a long night, and with Cid's constant bickering on how she should mix the drinks along with the occasional drunks trying to get some of her time, a pounding headache was already brewing in the brunette's temples with no sign of resistance. The pain was so horrid, thoughts of throwing herself from Mt. Nibel became more and more tempting as the seconds passed.  
  
Turning around slowly, Tifa tilted her chin upwards towards the star lit sky and admired the breathtaking view. The stars were where her problems had began. Never knowing that just by wishing upon a star, so much trouble could arrise into a person's life. But then again, the ruby eyed beauty never even began to consider that the stars had the power to cause a stricken hope to actually surface into reality.  
  
"What am I going to do?"  
  
"I'll tell you what you're going to do, you're going to tell Riley all about your indescressions!"  
  
Startled at the angry voice behind her, Tifa spun around to face Veronica's stern expression, a chill running up her spine as her heart beated so frantically against her ribs, the constant fear of it actually escaping from her body crossed the bartender's mind.  
  
"Veronica... what do you mean 'indescressions'?"  
  
Descending the steps, the blue eyed woman shot Tifa a deadly look as she crossed her bony arms across her chest defiantely, "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You, my dear, are quite deceitful. Parading around Kalm like you justify all that is right, but when in all actuality, you couldn't be more of a snake."  
  
"You don't know what you're talking about," the much younger woman commented, turning her back on the raving Veronica and preparing to exit the scene.  
  
"I know exactly what I'm talking about! Don't think you can fool me any more than you already have! I may be older, but I'm not blind to the obvious. I saw you and that blonde man, who came into town, together. Does he know you have a husband or did you fail to mention that as well," Veronica exploaded furiously as she reached out, grabbed Tifa, and slapped her harshly across the cheek, "you may be beautiful and fool everyone else around you, but I can see right through that facade of yours. You better tell Riley the truth....or I will."  
  
She was too shocked to breathe, too shocked to move, too shocked to scream for Veronica to stop. What had just happened? Veronica and mental meltdown did not go together like a perfect jig-saw piece. The blue eyed woman was always kind and considerate towards everyone around her, no matter how terrible the individual's past was. But then again, the individuals didn't committ the ultimate indescression against a man who Veronica considered a son.  
  
"Veronica, wait! Please hear me out," Tifa exclaimed, shaking her head quickly and luckily regaining her speech ability.  
  
"There is nothing to listen to! You want respect from me...you want me to hear and take into consideration what you say, then you stop being the lying, manipulating snake I am preceiving you to be and tell Riley the truth! He deserves that much and honestly, I hope he finally comes to his senses and see what a skank you truely are," Veronica exclaimed harshly before taking her burning eyes away from Tifa Lockheart in a disgusted fashion and slamming the door to the cafe in the brunette's face.  
  
"Veronica, please listen to me," the bartender explained while knocking on the door hastily. Her hands shook with nervousness as her eyes fought back the moisture which was threatening to make it's way onto her cheeks.  
  
"Go away before I make a scene and call the police," a voice from the cafe proclaimed, not even considering to re-open the door.  
  
"You can't do this to me! I've worked too hard to build what I accomplished here and what I did was wrong, I shouldn't have even considered it, but you don't know the history between me and Cloud. We were destined to be together! It was fate, you have to understand that," Tifa shouted lowly, standing on the other side of the door like a stray puppy begging for attention, "I am begging you Veronica, please don't tell Riley the truth, I'll.......I'll tell Cloud to leave, I'll tell him never to see me again, not even as friends. Our relationship will be not only platonic but non-existant."  
  
There was a stretched silence before the door to the cafe swung open revealing a newly serene Veronica. Her powdered eyes searched Tifa's dark ones as suspicion quickly arose into them.  
  
"Never again will you see this man?"  
  
It was the only way. If the secert escaped through the town, so many lives would be ruined, including her own. This was the only way to keep the story of their lives going. She would cut the cord with Cloud, no matter how difficult it was. In order for peace to remain, Tifa would have to make the ultimate sacrafice and endure the ultimate sorrow.  
  
"Never. Not unless this remains between me and you."  
  
Smiling shortly after, the eldery woman firmly stated, "Deal."  
  
  
@---^-----^---------------  
  
  
Cloud Strife sat on the plains near the small town of Kalm, watching the stars above as a journal sat on his lap and a ciggerette hung from his lips. The stars shone so brightly in the sky, it was almost blinding. The nights were always the ex-SOLDIER's favorite time of the day as it gave him the thoughts and emotions which made him the mysteriously pensive man everybody knew him as.  
  
Even though Cloud loved Tifa, thoughts of the benevolent flower girl, Aeris, still leaked into his head whenever he looked up at the stars. He still remembered how her hands would always make their way to her hips whenever she got mad. The way her green eyes lit up whenever she laughed. The way a small dimple used to appear whenever a smile would play her lips. The comfort she gave him when he felt her eyes upon him. And he would never forget, the expression she had before and after the sword of Sephiroth pierced her.  
  
Cloud still blamed himself for not saving Aeris, and maybe that was why her memory still played in his mind. He never told anyone of his blame or his appritions, only because the constant fear of actually moving on always made him feel angry and insecure. Cloud didn't want to move on, in his mind, he didn't deserve to.  
  
Tossing the ciggerette aside, the blue eyed man continued scribbing down his thoughts and emotions in the book in front of him.   
  
'She taught me how to look at life in a newfound light. She taught me dreams weren't just a child's false hope of how the future was meant to look in the eye of the beholder. That dreams were something to explore and chase after because if we wanted something that badly, we should never just let it get away from our grasp. We should always hold onto whatever hope we have left within us as we grow older because as we evolve, time seems to take the innocence of dreaming away. If we hold onto the small ioda of hope, there's still a chance to live a life without regret. Those were Aeris's words....those are the words that kept me alive.'  
  
Looking back up at the sky, a small smile played Cloud's lips as a glimmer of innocence shone in his sapphire orbs. Those words kept Cloud alive today. Those words gave him the appriciation to look forward to each waking moment, even when life didn't seem worth taking the risk of living through.  
  
  
@---^----^-------------  
  
  
Tifa continued her climb through the fire escape quietly, making sure nobody saw her escapade of the Wallace house. As if her life wasn't a scandal enough, she didn't need the identification of both adultress and thief stained on her reputation.  
  
"Cloud, it's over. I don't love you the same way I did. The more we slept together, the more I realized you aren't half the man Riley is."  
  
It was harsh, she knew that. But the harsher, the better because just a simple 'good-bye' and 'I want you out of my life' wouldn't do. Cloud Strife was stubborn and to get to the stubborn ones, you had to be drastically frank and asperous. She had to protect them, even if it meant hurting the man she loves' feelings. Life would continue, the world would endure it's orbit, and peace would be restored. Tifa would do this to save him from future pain, allegation, and regret.   
  
"Cloud, I want you out of my life forever! You just aren't cutting it, I never loved you, you were just a side quest when I got bored with my husband. Now that my curiosity has been satisfied, I want nothing to do...."  
  
"Tifa?"  
  
Startled, the ruby eyed woman held her chest in fear of her heart leaping right out into the open as she exclaimed practically, "Barrett! What are you doing in Cloud's room?!"  
  
"Well, this 'is' my house and I wanted to check up on our spikey headed friend. But it's lookin' like he didn't come back yet," Barrett explained logically as he eyed Tifa suspciously, "but I'm guessin' the real question at hand is, what're you doin' at Cloud's window this late at night?"  
  
"Oh, what am I doing here? Well, I just got out of work and I had too many cups of coffee so I wanted to see if Cloud wanted to go for a walk or something to catch up. But seeing as he's not here, why am I wasting my time and breath, I'll just be on my way....."  
  
"Hold up!"  
  
Tifa froze as she was about to make her decent on the ladder, cursing her rotten luck under her breath before turning back around with large, innocently naive eyes, "What is it, Barrett?"  
  
"I know, Tifa, you don't need to hide it anymore....I knew for a while now."  
  
Her heart slammed against her ribs as her breath caught in her throat causing Tifa to choke out nervously, "You do?!"  
  
"Of course...ya made it so obvious always sneakin' around and now comin' to Cloud's window when you coulda used to the door," Barrett responded as a matter of factly as he folded his brawny arms across his chest expectantly.  
  
She wanted to cry. Even though Barrett was as close to a parental figure and confidant as she ever had, Tifa didn't want him to know about her affair. The last thing she wanted was Barrett thinking lowly of her, for she didn't know what she'd do without him being by her side and helping her like in the past.  
  
"Barrett, please I can explain everything...."  
  
"No need to explain, I mean it's obvious ya wanted to make my birthday party a surprise so ya decided to get some help from Cloud. Plus, Cid bein' in town and all, it's startin' to all come together! I can't say I'm not touched."  
  
"A surprise birthday party......Right, yeah, I can't believe you figured it out, I was so sure you were oblivious to our plans," Tifa proclaimed guiltily while her breathing decreased slowly to a normal rymthic pattern.  
  
"I was 'til tonight. I mean, I had my suspicions, but I didn't think anythin' of it. I can't believe you remembered my birthday though, I woulda thought for sure it slipped your mind."  
  
Forcing a bright smile, Tifa tried to hide how terrible and guilty she felt inside. She wanted to tell him so badly, but thought against it. Soon it would all be over, and life would return to it's normal pace before Cloud arrived in Kalm. Why tell anybody else the truth when the problem of the twisted plot would come to an end before anyone could even begin to suspect any foul play?  
  
"Of course I would remember, Barrett, we're family."  
  
  
@----^----^--------------  
  
When Cloud re-entered Kalm, it was almost 5 am and the sun was making it's appearance over the horizon. Sometimes, whenever seen entering the town, the people would question whether the mysterious man actually slept. People were so curious, they started a secrative poll on Cloud's sleeping habits.   
  
Holding tightly onto the journal underneath his arm, Cloud discharged the smoke from his mouth and tossed the useless ciggarete butt aside. It was a beautiful morning, not as hot as the other days, with rays of light dimly shining over the small town. It looked like the beginning of a great day, unknown to him, the irony of what was to come next.  
  
Cloud Strife continued his walk through the town, preparing to make his way into the Wallace house, where he was residing, and take a nice hot shower to help him relax. As that thought sunk into his head, the young blonde man spotted Veronica sweeping the front stoop of the cafe, a troubled look on her usually serene features. Smiling shortly, Cloud called out, "You know, you should really get rid of that frown on your face 'cause you're a lot prettier with a smile."  
  
Veronica looked up at the source of sound and her eyes immeadiately hardened to the sight before her. He looked so happy and carefree, which caused her to give off more bitter vibes. Did he even know what kind of web he was being tangled in or was he completely aware of Tifa's marriage to Riley? It was enough to make her question Cloud's motives, placing her usual warm smile on her face.  
  
"Aren't you the early riser," Veronica exclaimed, stopping her sweeping and focusing her concentration on the man before her.  
  
"I could say the same to you, need any help," Cloud asked with a small smile on his rugged features. He didn't usually smile and when he did, it was barely there.  
  
"Actually, since you asked I could use some help inside moving some crates into the back. I would've asked Barrett but I don't want to bother him this early in the morning and I have to move these out of the way before the cafe officially opens."  
  
"Of course."  
  
Quickly rolling the journal and placing it in his back pocket, Cloud made his way up the stairs to Veronica's cafe. He wasn't really in the mood to move objects back and forth, but this woman did a lot to help him adjust to Kalm, it was the least he could do to repay her for her hospitality.  
  
"Come with me," Veronica motioned, placing the broom against the wall of the cafe and leading the helpful man inside, "I'm sorry for bothering you, I'm sure you have so much you need to accomplish, just moving into Kalm and all."  
  
"It's fine. I was just about to go to Barrett's, shower, and get ready for the day but I can do that whenever. Where do you need these crates put," Cloud asked curtiously while grabbing on of the heavy set crates and picking it up without breaking a sweat.  
  
Veronica's blue eyes widened at Cloud's strength. Not to be offensive to the man, but when she first laid eyes on him, he was just about the scrawniest man she had ever seen. He had a few muscles here and there, but the rest was just skin and bones. In all actuality, she thought Cloud would have difficulty lifting a coffee pot might as well a 250 pound crate filled with cocoa beans.  
  
"Oh, yes, you can move the crate back into the kitchen."  
  
Nodding, Cloud manuevered his way behind the counter and into the back with ease. Simply amazing was the only two words that could describe the lanky young man. But then again, how could she forget this was indeed the man who saved this planet from the infamous Sephiroth and meteor. He had to have had some strength in that body of his to accomplish such a arduous task.  
  
"So how have you been," Cloud asked, making small talk once he re-entered the cafe's main quarters.  
  
"Great, now that you're helping me out with the crates. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't help me out, I would most definately get the weird eye from some of my customers, plus with the sanitary department and their scheduled appointment today, I would have surely been in violation of some of their rules," Veronica exclaimed, a smile still glued to her face as she watched Cloud hoist another crate up off the floor and moving it to the back room.  
  
"It's no problem, you ever need any help just hollar," Cloud shouted from the back, echoing off the walls for Veronica to hear.  
  
"Thank you, you're just a gracious young lad.......you must have a special girl in your life. What with you being so handsome, strong, and generous, girls must be literally knocking down your door with invitations," the blue-eyed woman proclaimed, not wasting any more time with pointless chit-chat and getting right to the point.  
  
Cloud emerged from the back again, a boyish smile on his face as he grabbed another crate and said, "There's only been one girl for me.....no matter how many offers I get from the opposite sex, no girl will ever make me feel the way she does."  
  
It was true. She would uncover the truth and it would be from a reliable source. Veronica already knew there was an affair brewing between Kalm's own Tifa Lockheart and Cloud Strife, but she would hear it for her own ears. Excitement and pure determination pumped through her veins as she awaited her hypothesis to be proven correct.  
  
"And who is this lucky girl?"  
  
Stopping in his tracks, Cloud turned around, crate in hand, and shook his head, "I'd rather not say.....It's just something I like to keep to myself, hopefully not jinxing anything between us."  
  
'Damn it...I was so close,' Veronica's mind shouted as she watched with her piercing eyes, Cloud Strife shrugg an apology and make his way to the back. It was Tifa, Cloud desires, and she knew this. She just wanted to hear it from his mouth, but then again, he was a smart man. But that was OK, his intellectual nature and witty retorts wouldn't be able to save him from the rejection he was soon to endure. Soon, Veronica wouldn't have to worry about Tifa's indecression with Cloud. Soon, she wouldn't even have to worry about the blonde ever coming between the happiness of Tifa and Riley. He would be gone just as quickly as he swept into everyone's life, and life would continue in it's normal cycle, just as it was meant to. 


	12. Good-bye

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 12 - Good-bye  
  
I'm Walkin' away  
From the troubles in my life  
I'm Walkin' away  
Oh, to find a better day  
  
- Craig David - Walking Away  
  
"Why weren't you there for me?"  
  
17-year old Yuffie Kisaragi stood in front of the guilty Tifa Lockheart, a look of disappointment locked on her face. Her lips were stained purple and a lack of skin pigment was noticeable on her fragile body and face.  
  
"Yuffie....Please, I didn't know it was going to happen. I didn't know."  
  
Sneering suddenly, the ninja's nostril's flared as her eyebrows furrowed deeply near the crevice of her eyes. Snapping her pointer finger at the shivering bartender, Yuffie screamed loudly, "Shut up! You did this to me! You didn't help me when I needed you and for that I'm gonna take you straight to hell where you belong! Straight to hell!"  
  
@---^----^-------------  
  
The shimmering ruby eyes of Tifa Lockheart sprang open, tears becoming visible as she looked around the small bedroom of her villa. It was the dream again, the dream which showed how guilty Tifa really felt. Yuffie would have still been alive if she had been there, watching over her. She would have still been alive if Tifa had offered a home to Yuffie here in Kalm. If she hadn't been so hopeful and blinded about Cloud returning to her, Yuffie Kisaragi would have made it into adulthood.  
  
Crying softly, Tifa buried her face into her hands and allowed her heart to bleed for the young ninja who had so much to live for. She was so young, why did she have to die? Fate or whatever higher being which planned out the human demise could have chosen her instead of Yuffie. It would have been so much easier for herself and for others if Tifa Lockheart wasn't alive today.  
  
"Tifa? What's wrong?"  
  
Becoming so wrapped up in her own guilty world of emotions, Tifa didn't even notice Riley's arms wrapping around her shivering body. It made her feel so much safer, but not any warmer. The coldness of Yuffie's stare and words cut deeply into her, warmth not even allowing the bitter emotions to exit her heart.   
  
Breaking free from Riley's embrace, Tifa made her way out of bed and murmured suddenly before exiting the room, "It's nothing, just go back to sleep."  
  
@---^----^----------------  
  
Cloud stood in the comfort of the Wallace's shower, enveloping himself in the warmth of the relaxing water fall. It was just what his sore muscles needed, the therapy of a nice hot shower. Even though the weather outside was warm, he always bathed in warm water. It was a habit he grew accustomed to and found hard to break.  
  
Tifa Lockheart. Those two words came together and created the perfect name for such a perfect individual. She was all that was on his mind, and for most people, it was enough to commit attempted suicide. Cloud was different. He loved thinking of her, embracing her, making love to her. Everything that had to remotely do with Tifa, he loved.  
  
The smiling blonde thought of asking her to run away with him, run away from Riley and the life she had here, just to marry him. Tifa Lockheart Strife....it was a perfect match, like a missing piece to a jigsaw puzzle. She was his missing piece and now that he felt complete, Cloud would never loose that perfect equivalent again.  
  
"Cloud! Hurry up, man, I'm late for work," Barret Wallace shouted from the other side of the bathroom door, pounding on it for the anger effect.  
  
"I'll be right out," Cloud shouted back, not paying any mind to the anxious man awaiting an empty shower. Today would be a great day, he could feel it.   
  
@---^----^------------------  
  
Tifa Lockheart held a cup of hot coffee in her shaking hands, the images of Yuffie's pale face and the broken hearted expression Cloud will have after telling him they couldn't see each other anymore. If she was fortunate, Tifa wouldn't have to get extremely out of hand and still have Cloud leave Kalm for good. Hopefully, that was the way it would be, swift and painless.  
  
"Tifa?"  
  
Turning around, ruby eyes met the worried expression of the man she had grown to adore. It almost broke Tifa's heart to see him in such an unhappy state of mind. It made her feel even worse when that unhappy state of mind was forced upon by her own doing.  
  
"Riley, come here, please," Tifa commanded gently while placing her cup of coffee on the counter behind her and opening her arms to the approaching man.  
  
Riley made his way across the kitchen and right into his wife's awaiting embrace, breathing in the soft yet alluring scent that placed him into a trace. Touching her baby soft skin, he placed his forehead on her shoulder and listened to what she had to say.  
  
"Sometimes, I can act very strangely, just like I have this morning. When I lost Yuffie, I've been having nightmares.........realistic nightmares that match my own emotions and guilt. I'm so sorry I took that uncertainty and guilt out on you, but at times, I feel like everything I touch, I corrupt or damage in some way."  
  
Looking up, Riley placed a tender kiss on Tifa's forehead before running his fingertips through her short dark hair and over her cheeks securely, "You didn't damage or corrupt me in any way. If anything, you made me into the man I am today. I was never proud of who I was, Tifa, until I met you. You showed me how to be somebody I could depend on and be proud of. You don't know your own strengths and that angers me because you have so much to offer to this world."  
  
Smiling, Tifa placed her arms around Riley and kissed him gently. How could she betray him this way. How could she turn her back and deliberately harm the one man who has always been there for her and tolerates her almost schizophrenic actions. Cloud was just an attractive man......an attractive man she had grown up with and loved ever since she first looked into the surreal blue of his eyes and saw the courage and love he possessed. She loved Riley, yes, but the love she felt for Cloud was like no other. It was a love that couldn't be defined and almost seemed abstract. That was the love she knew was real, just for the mere fact that she couldn't explain it.  
  
"How about we go to the beach, just me and you and make ourselves a little picnic on the sand and watch the sun set?"  
  
Leaving her genuine smile engraved on her face, Tifa nodded and kissed her husband's cheek as a wordless answer to the request. She would cut the cord of her and Cloud's affair and continue on with the happiness Riley and Tifa shared. Life would go back to normal even though her heart would bleed for the remainder of her lifetime.  
  
"I just have to take care of something at the bar and then it'll just be you, me, the beach, and last but certainly not least, the sunset," Tifa explained while embracing her lover once more before releasing her grip and exiting the vila while blowing one last kiss.  
  
Riley stood near the counter, still mesmerized by the woman he was so lucky to have and to hold for the rest of his natural life. She was so perfect, he couldn't help but smile and believe in the hope everyone depended on at what he had gained for all his past mistakes.  
  
@---^----^-------------------  
  
Sitting outside the bar silently, Tifa Lockheart entwined her arms and placed them securely around herself. It was a cool morning, more cool than it had usually been. Wearing a powder blue halter with Hawaiian designs and ultra low jeans didn't help her body temperature either. But she would suffer being cold for a while, for she wouldn't back out of what had to be done. Cloud would come, Tifa was sure of it, and when he comes she will no longer postpone they inevitable.  
  
"Hey you."  
  
Turning around, Tifa met the loving glance of Cloud Strife, her heart melting at the mere sight of him and the soft tone of his greeting. Running away seemed like an attractive escape plan at the moment but then images of the dark future came swarming into her head like a plague of locusts. That mere insight gave her to courage and inspiration to continue with the hardest rejection she ever had to give.  
  
"Why the long face? Am I really that terrible to look at," Cloud joked, moving stealthily forward to embrace his lover. But the joking attitude was suddenly slapped away as Tifa side stepped his advantage and gave him a hard look, "What's going on, Tifa?"  
  
"Listen, Cloud...It was fun while it lasted but it's time we faced reality, and frankly, me and you don't belong in reality. This affair was just a fantasy and now that I've had my fun away from the real world, it's time I go back where I belong and in that specific place, you don't belong," Tifa hurriedly replied, feeling the harsh stinging of tears attacking her vision. No, she would not cry. She would get this over with and walk away with her head held high. She would not falter, no matter how much pushing Cloud away was killing her.  
  
Cloud stood there with a small smile on his face while exclaiming, "Wow, that was really good...for a second there you looked like you meant that."  
  
"I did! I did mean it, Cloud, I'm tired of living a fantasy that's going to get me nowhere! You had your chance to be with me the honest way and you blew it. I moved on and now it's time you do the same," Tifa shouted frustratingly, crossing her arms over her chest, and expecting Cloud to turn around and walk out of her life. Unfortunately, she couldn't be any wronger.  
  
"Where did this bitter resentment come from, Tifa," Cloud asked, stepping forward and lowering his voice in a temperate manner, "Just last night we were gazing into each other's eyes in that sentimental way you love and it was almost as though it was this eternal bond that we would never be apart, that this love that both of us share was a sure thing."  
  
Tifa stood there examining Cloud, her once ruby eyes frozen emotionless as her arms remained glued entwined. After a moment of silence, Cloud spoke up, asking, "Tifa, what are you doing?"  
  
"Looking for an umbilical cord, because it's obvious you were born yesterday. During our years of growing up you should have known there was no such thing as a 'sure' thing. There's a moment of undeniable bliss, maybe even a moment of perpetual love, but never is there forever. I never knew a man of your experience and stature could be so naive."  
  
Cloud recoiled as though he'd been slapped with a frozen hand. Tifa's words were cold and heartless, so not like her. It almost caused him to question whether this woman was really the Tifa he had grown up and fell in love with. She looked the same, minus the haircut and now more matured features, but her heart wasn't the same at all. It was almost as though those two years transformed the young bartender's heart into a twisted, unfelt one.  
  
"What happened to you, Tifa? When did you become so cold," Cloud asked softly, sapphire eyes piercing through his lover as though he was searching for an unfound answer.  
  
"I never did change, but how would you know when you just paraded out of everybody's life without a second notice. If anybody, it's you who deserves the title of cold-hearted. Never once did you think of what position you placed your supposed 'friends' in did you? If you had been here and everybody was together, Yuffie would have never gone back to Wutai. If you had stayed here, Yuffie would still be alive," Tifa cried out, tears falling from her eyes on onto her cheeks, "If you had never ran away, people's lives wouldn't have been ruined the way they had. If you stayed here, instead of supposedly trying to find yourself, I wouldn't be suffering as much as I am right now. You killed us all, Cloud, and I have never hated anyone as much as I hate you!"  
  
The two were quiet for the longest moment. Cloud stood there, taking in everything Tifa had said to him and swallowing the large lump in his throat as Tifa wiped the stinging moisture from her eyes and allowed all the pent up emotions to run wild. She never did realize how wild they had ran.   
  
"Tifa, I told you I was sorry..."  
  
"Sorry doesn't fix everything, Cloud! Sorry doesn't bring people back from the dead. Sorry doesn't repair the damage you caused in people's lives. And sorry most certainly isn't always accepted as a form of redemption! You caused the damage, you fix it on your own. Things between me and you, will never be the same, ever, no matter what you do to try and repair it. It's over, Cloud, and that's all I have to tell you," Tifa exclaimed, allowing another tear to slip from her eyes as she stomped off angrily. She never expected to feel this way, this angry, and these emotions being felt at the moment almost made her feel completely guilty of her words of closure. Almost.  
  
"Tifa wait," Cloud shouted pleadingly as he ran after her and grabbed her wrist objectionably after the paralysis wore off, "Where is this coming from? How did you go from completely glowing his happiness to downright pissed off?! Tell me the truth, do you have some case of schizophrenia or bipolar that you rejected to tell me about?"  
  
The fuming brunette shook Cloud's grip off violently and looked him directly in the eye, "How dare you take a completely serious matter and turn it into a joke! That is your problem, Cloud, you're never serious! You can never fully understand a difficult and uncompromisable situation. You're an immature child stuck in a 25-year old body and until you allow your maturity to match your age, don't even bother talking to me! Actually, that's a very good idea, when I cut the cord to our relationship, I'm also cutting the cord to our friendship! Any kind of relationship between us is nonexistent so I suggest you just leave me and my husband alone!"  
  
Walking away, Tifa heard Cloud scream out something which broke her heart into unrepairable pieces : "I may be immature, but at least I'm not ignorant and hypocritical when it comes to inner peace! I don't turn my back on something which makes me utterly happy! THAT is 'your' problem, Tifa, you refuse to allow yourself to experience any kind of emotional happiness. It's not my fault you're suffering, it's yours! You have no one to blame but yourself!"  
  
Tears blurred her vision as she continued to walk away from the man who gave her that utter happiness he was preaching about. Being completely oblivious to the surroundings around her, a hand gripping her wrist and spinning her around caught her completely off guard.  
  
Meeting the burning blue of Cloud's eyes, she pushed back tears and angrily asked him, "What do you want from me?! I told you how I felt and what 'I' wanted!"  
  
"I want you to give me back something that rightfully belongs to me. Something you have NO right to have in your possession," Cloud exclaimed, keeping his grip painlessly, yet securely on the bartender's slim wrists.  
  
"What do you want from me?!"  
  
"My heart back, Tifa! I want my heart back, I want you to look me right in the eyes and tell me you don't love me!"  
  
Tifa froze suddenly, unable to give him what he wanted. She could say all those horrid things. She could walk away without looking back. But she couldn't take back her love for him. She couldn't give him back his heart and give him a peace of mind only because she couldn't. No matter how many lies Tifa could produce to protect herself, she couldn't take back a declaration of love when she honestly meant it. It was a code of loyalty that she would never betray. No matter if it killed her in the process.  
  
"TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE ME," Cloud screamed out after a sound silence from Tifa. The blue of his eyes seemed to ripple like a stone being thrown into a quiet lake. Those were the tears that threatened to spill out into the public, tears which were never known to another human being.  
  
Tifa shook violently, and just stared up at Cloud with wide eyes, no sound being produced from her mouth. Her lips were sealed and blocked any words from exiting into the real world.  
  
He let Tifa go and shook his head, "Forget it. I don't need you to tell me, I could see it in your eyes. You see, Tifa, contrary to belief, not everything has to be translucent."  
  
She watched him leave, not another word escaping the lips she loved to kiss. He was gone and there was nothing she could do to bring him back to her. The mission was complete, but never had she felt so inadequate in all her years of living. Never had she doubted the sun would rise over the horizon the next day. The world Tifa lived in was now showered in interminable darkness as the light, which would chase the darkness away, had just walked out of her life. 


	13. Wantin' What U Got

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 13 - Wantin' What U Got  
  
I got what you need boy (baby I do)  
but I will only cause you pain, yeah (I promise that)  
I got what you need boy (baby I do)  
but I will only bring on the rain   
  
- Nelly Furtado : I Will Make U Cry  
  
  
"It's not anybody else's fault but your own. You brought this on yourself."  
  
Tifa sat on the steps leading to the well known shops of Kalm. She was supposed to meet Riley back at the house to prepare for their romantic picnic on the beach. She was excited before, but now, she couldn't even plaster a fake smile of happiness to hide the pain that was coursing through her heart. What was happening to her? Before, Tifa was so independent, always marching to the beat of her own drum. Now, she was so busy trying to please other people that she didn't even know what she wanted anymore.  
  
Sighing, Tifa ran her fingers through her short hair defeated. It wasn't a definite conclusion, but the way her morning was turning out, it was going to be a very long day. As she began to stand up and make her way back to the vila where her husband and herself resided, the sound of a voice behind her made her blood boil and heartbeat increase sparatically.  
  
"Hello, Tifa, not having a good morning?"  
  
Grinning bitterly, the brunette turned around and faced the woman who brought about the misery she dwelled in, "Hello, Veronica, what can I owe to the displeasure of your company?"  
  
"Why you seem upset," Veronica sang, narrowing her blue eyes to the younger woman below. Anybody who saw Kalm's most congenial woman greeting anyone with sarcasm would have gotten their eyes checked, for this wasn't the Veronica everybody knew and adored.  
  
"I always did admire your strong grasp of the obvious," Tifa spat back with equally venomous sarcasm.  
  
"Now now, didn't your mother teach you to respect your elders?"  
  
"My mother didn't teach my to respect snakes," the irritable bartender pointed out, fire which matched her words was visible in her eyes as her mouth remained in a frowning expression.  
  
Veronica was taken aback by Tifa's disrespect. She always knew this woman had a certain fire to her, it just wasn't known the flame was this hot. In all actuality, Veronica pitied Tifa's situation, knowing, ironically, what it was like to loose love to an unfortunate situation. But she couldn't let personal regrets ruin her pride. Kalm's good name would not be stained because of one woman's inability to keep her harmones in check.  
  
"Why are you taking out your frustrations on me? You caused this pain, you brought it all on yourself!"  
  
Those words Cloud said to her repeated itself over and over in her head like a broken record. It caused her blood to boil dangerously and fury to erupt onto the surface like a rabid infection. She would not take the complete blame for this particular situation, Tifa would feel some of the guilt, but carry the complete burden will not be on her list of things to do. Not if she could help it.  
  
"Not everything is brought on by just one person, in a way, everyone is responsible for somebody else's action. It's an inconstant circle that not just one person, but everybody, suffers through no matter the restriction. I did what you asked me to do, so get out of my life and out of my business, "the ex-AVALANCHE member proclaimed before turning her back on the appalled elderly woman and retreating back to the protection of her house.  
  
"Oh, Tifa, if you only knew the pain I saved you from in your future, you wouldn't be so bitter," Veronica replied to the gusting wind before continuing on her daily run to the book store next door.  
  
@---^----^---------------  
  
Entering the Wallace house like an angered animal, Cloud Strife punched one of the pillars of the living room, breaking it in the process, and sending a shower of splinters through the air. As he did this, he heard Elmyra's curious yet concerned call from the kitchen. That only made the blonde man scold himself for his recklessly violent behavior. He could have hurt somebody, preferably Marlene.  
  
"Cloud, what's wrong?"  
  
Looking up from the palm supporting his forehead, Cloud pointed to the pillar and replied, "Sorry, I kinda let my emotions get the best of me."  
  
"You know, a punching bag or a pillow would have made a much better substitute for an object of abuse. Less painful and more usable," Elmyra teased, while approaching Cloud and grabbing hold of his knuckles, "Luckily, you didn't cause any damage. I'm actually very surprised, pillars have a tendency of hitting back when attacked."  
  
"It's the Mako poisoning in my bloodstream. It gives me strength and protects me from any visible, external injuries," Cloud replied as a matter-of-factly while taking back his hand gently, "But thanks for the concern."  
  
"Well, while Mako poisoning is your curse, concern is mine. One day, it'll get the best of me," the smaller woman answered with a smile on her face, "So is there anything you would like to talk about? Anything bothering you?"  
  
Cloud crossed his arms across his chest defensively as he looked to the side and murmured, "No, I'm fine."  
  
"Is that so because the pillar here tells me differently. Sure you don't wanna talk about it, I'm a very good listener. I even get compliments of my professional advice," Elmyra explained, eyes still dancing with joy as warmth filled her voice with the emotion of compassion, "I promise I won't charge you until the problem actually involves some kind of major train of thought."  
  
Cloud offered a small, lopsided grin and averted his eyes away from the wall and back on the green eyed woman ahead of him, "You know, if I didn't know any better, I would've sworn you were actually Aeris' mother."  
  
Smiling, Elmyra placed her slender arm around Cloud's broad shoulders in a motherly fashion and led him away from the destruction site and into the peaceful environment of the kitchen.  
  
@--^---^-----------------  
  
Entering the vila, Tifa slammed the door behind her and entered into the kitchen without shouting her usual friendly hello. She knew this would send up a red flag in her husband's mentality with a bombardment of questions as a follow-up, but that was the least of her worries. Right now, Riley wasn't the main concern.  
  
Tifa opened the fridge and grabbed the small bottle of grapefruit juice, proceeding to drink from it's compounds. What was she going to do? In one day, she managed to completely obliterate a literal lifetime friendship with the only person she could truly trust in this cold world. And for what? The protection of her reputation and pride. How self-centered could she possibly be for choosing her own well being over the feelings of not only her best friend but the only guy she ever remotely loved.  
  
Taking a large gulp of juice, Tifa replaced the cap on the bottle and placed it on the counter behind her. Each moment, especially occurrences from this day, gave her reason to believe her life story belonged in the televised nationwide world of fantasy. When did her life become so complicated?  
  
"Hey, honey, I didn't hear you come in."  
  
Riley entered the kitchen area with his usual smile locked on his face. It was so difficult to get angry with him, actually, almost impossible. Once you encountered this happy-go-lucky man, you would honestly be surprised at the drastic change from amaroidal emotions to utterly pleased.  
  
"Hey baby," Tifa replied, holding out her arm to partially embrace her comforting husband while trying to keep a smile plastered on her face to hide any sour feelings she may have.  
  
Approaching the ailing brunette, Riley observed her discreetly. As he eyed her suspiciously, the taller man wrapped his strong arms around Tifa's small shoulders. He knew when his wife was hiding her true emotions, for he could read people so well. Tifa did place her emotional stage under perfect disguise, but Riley could see right through it without a second thought.  
  
"Anything the matter?"  
  
Where would she start? Not only had she completely obliterated the only friendship she held close to her heart, but she also back-stabbed the only man she had ever remotely and honestly loved. And to add to the many factors of this complicated equation, which most likely will lead to an equally complicated solution, the only other person she had considered as close to a mother as anyone, completely hated her. The worst case scenario was there was no possible way to rectify the harm she had involuntarily caused. The question 'anything the matter' was an understatement.  
  
"No, everything's fine," Tifa lied, offering another small smile of reassurance to place the icing on the cake of deceit.  
  
She prayed he would buy it, that no more questions would be asked. All Tifa wanted to do was bury her guilt along with the memory of this day. If possible, she wished a form of acid was invented to be used at constat use in hopes to completely disintegrate unwanted memories. In all actuality, Tifa cherished her time spent with Cloud, no matter how wrong it was. It was a shame life gave her an opportunity to kindle an anticipated flame too late in her lifetime.  
  
"I was thinking, instead of going to the beach like scheduled, how about we just have breakfast in bed....actually, how about our whole day's meal with a lil desert on the side if you get what I'm saying," Riley purred in her ear seductively while running his fingertips through his wife's hair and onto her neck playfully.  
  
Smiling genuinely, Tifa felt Riley's warm breath on her neck, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. He had that kind of effect on her, the effect which made women weak in the knees and goosebumps erect on their arms. It was a beautiful feeling she would never take advantage or for granted.  
  
"Why don't you go upstairs and get everything set up while I get the strawberries and champagne," she murmured while feeling the lips, which brought her so much comfort over the years, roam over her shoulders almost yearning to go further.  
  
"Don't be too long, though, I heard keeping a man waiting too long could have serious ill-fated repercussions."  
  
"Well, along with our variety of fruit and wine, I'll bring the insulin. A girl could never be too careful," the brunette teased while feeling fingertips, which were just playing with her hair, lower to her side and hoisting her over Riley's shoulder. Tifa giggled profusely while feeling herself being taken from the kitchen and into the confines of the living room.  
  
These were the moments she treasured. Being with her husband gave her this unfound joy that Tifa always wondered whether she would ever have. She didn't want to betray that, and unfortunately, she slipped once, hopefully, it won't happen again. Cloud deserved someone who gave her the same satisfaction and reason for living as Riley did in her life. Tifa's destiny was already predetermined, but Cloud had an opportunity to go out in the world and chase the dreams he always wanted to accomplish. She would give anything for that chance, why didn't he understand that?  
  
"What about the strawberries and champagne," Tifa asked while feeling herself approach the stairwell, blood rushing to her already light head.  
  
"Forget the strawberries and champagne, a man with my complications needs immediate attention. Who knows what kind of consequences could result from myself being unattended to," Riley explained, climbing the stairs with a sturdy grip on his wife's torso. She was very light, possibly underweight, so he had no complications in making the commute up the stairs.  
  
"Well, if that's the case, then what are we doing still talking about possible recovery strategy. Time's wasting," the bobbing brunette exclaimed, smacking her lover's back in playful anticipation. Before Tifa knew it, laughter was erupting from her mouth as she felt herself practically flying at the speed of light towards the upstairs portion of the vila.  
  
This is what she needed to recover. Just staying in the confidentiality of her home, with her husband, to completely re-ignite the sparks which have always been there until now. Things would eventually be repaired, the damage becoming less and less ghastly. That was exactly what Tifa's life needed, recuperation from the traumatic blow. Cloud would move on with his life, and so would she. The affair would just be another chapter added to the lifetimes of Tifa Lockheart, unknown to all but herself, how truly important that chapter of her life actually meant.  
  
@--^----^------------------------  
  
Cloud climbed the stairs to the small, yet livable vila, running a hand through his blonde hair unevenly. He had had an extensive conversation with Elmrya of his travels, of Aeris, and what had possessed him to leave for two years without any form of communication. They had practically spoke of everything except the real issue that had caused him to destroy one of the Wallace's pillars. Tifa.  
  
Each and every day, his life got a little more complicated and he didn't even understand why. Cloud had come back for one reason and sadly, that reason didn't even want anything to do with the air he breathed, might as well the actual person he was. He should have never left so long ago, for if he didn't, he wouldn't be paying for his mistake. He would most likely he holding Tifa in his arms right now. Not breaking pillars and trying to reemerge himself from drowning in the pools of self-pity.  
  
Sighing, Cloud walked down the hall to his room but suddenly stopped when he noticed a guitar sitting next to Marlene's bed innocently. Contemplating his decisions, the blonde finally came to a conclusion that it wouldn't hurt if he played it once. It was just a guitar, not a fragile crystal which would break from one touch.   
  
As he walked into the room, Cloud noticed all the pictures and articles of them from newspapers on Marlene's wall. He remembered all the hype they had been surrounded by when meteor and Sephiroth was destroyed at their hands. They hadn't seen the end of it and even today, he received his constant, 'Aren't you Cloud Strife?!' or 'You're the hero who saved this world! Can I have your autograph?!' It was exhausting and at times frustrating, but surprisingly, never once did he loose his temper around the public eye.  
  
Grinning slightly, the ex-SOLDIER picked up the guitar and placed it over his knee gently. When he was younger, Cloud always played the guitar whenever life's troubles were too much to handle. Plus, the guitar was the only real connection he had with his father, and sometimes late at night, he would sit on the roof of his home in Neibliem and play, hoping the music would bring his father back into his life. Nobody knew that supposedly pathetic fact he held so dear to his heart, not even Tifa.   
  
Strumming the strings, Cloud also began to softly sing, hoping Elmyra wouldn't hear him from the downstairs. He didn't want her to find him in her daughter's room, playing her guitar. That and the small factor that he didn't want anyone to know he sang.  
  
"Shadows they fall on the stage of your own life, trailing behind footsteps. There's comfort in ghosts who are no longer with you, hiding behind your death," Cloud's voice vocalized, continuing to strum the guitar strings smoothly, "I let you down, you've lost your taste, I'm losing ground, I fall from grace. Well, just listen, Sometimes....."  
  
Closing his eyes, the blonde man felt himself being overtaken by the music, almost unaware how loud he was getting, "YOU GOTTA' SET FREE WHAT YOU LOVE JUST TO BRING IT BACK! OH, WOULD YOU EVER LOSE ME, WOULD YOU EVER LET GO FOR THAT? And if the love is real you gotta' let yourself go, just to bring it back. Sometimes, just to bring it back."  
  
Allowing his fingers to explore the strings, Cloud re-opened his eyes and spotted Marlene standing at the doorway with a smile on her face. He jumped a mile high and dropped the guitar on the floor unconsciencously as his face gained a bright red pigment to it. It was embarrassing enough that he had been caught, but being caught by the owner of the object he was touching, which wasn't rightfully his, and trespassing in a room as well just crossed the line.  
  
"Hey, Marlene, sorry about that, I'll just get outta your way," Cloud hurried, practically running out of the small girl's room for dear life.  
  
"Hey wait, Cloud!"  
  
Stopping, he looked down at the smaller girl, the smile still locked on her face. Why did she look so amused? Was he really that terrible that she's still laughing internally at his musical talent? He hadn't played or sang in quite a while, but it couldn't have been 'that' bad that it was amusing the outside world.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"That was amazing! I never knew you could play the guitar or sing like that, you just never looked like the type to be musician. No offense," Marlene complimented, clapping her hands together and looking up at Cloud in a new found light, "Where did you learn to play like that?!"  
  
"My father taught me before he disappeared," Cloud stated, crossing his arms as he looked anywhere but at the small, inquirious Wallace girl. Nobody knew he had any talent when it came to music, now that he was discovered, there was no reason to hide the honest facts of his musical background.  
  
"Oh...did he ever come back," the somber girl asked, her smile replaced with an earnest expression. Marlene was usually bouncy and cheerful, but when the moment came, she could be equally serious and understanding. That was mostly the reason why everyone loved her so much.  
  
"No, he didn't."  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Marlene murmured, looking away from Cloud piteously and down to the floor.  
  
The room was awkwardly silent for a few minutes before Cloud asked, to break the silence, "You want me to teach you how to play something?"  
  
The eyes of the child looked up gleefully, shimmering with a new found appreciation and excitement as she jumped up and down shouting, "Yes, can you?!"  
  
Offering a lopsided grin, Cloud bent down and picked up the fallen guitar as he motioned Marlene to take a seat on the bed. It was a long time before he had had an interaction with a child, an innocent child who didn't know the hardships ahead of them in the world outside of their parent's protection. It was refreshing to embrace their innocence, if only, for a short amount of time. Plus, to add to this ordeal, this was the most lengthy conversation he had had with Marlene Wallace ever since they first met so many years ago.  
  
@--^----^-------------------  
  
"Always reading, that's my girl."  
  
Tifa looked up from her book abruptly, the voice startling her. Smiling, she placed her finger in the book where she left of and closed it. Riley laid in bed comfortably as the tenacious brunette looked lovingly upon him, curled up on the chair near the balcony. Many people asked her why she always had a nose in a book when she could be batting those pretty eyelashes and getting a free ride through life. Riley was the only one who praised her for not taking the easy way out, and having a passion for literature. Riley...and Cloud both did.  
  
"What book are you reading now," the yawning, green eyed man asked, looking curiously at Tifa with interest.  
  
Tifa lifted the book up so the cover of the book was readable, "The Fountainhead." It was very stereotypical, but because the young woman was blessed with an extraordinarily lovely face, people always thought the only literature she had ever heard of was Vogue and Cosmo. It got frustrating at times, but Tifa paid them no mind and continued to surprise them. There was nothing more satisfying than a lack of words from ignorant individuals.  
  
"Ayn Rand?"  
  
"Now I'm beginning to see why I love you so much," Tifa explained, lifting herself from the chair to rejoin her husband in the large bed they shared, "finally, a man who actually appreciates a book who's main catch phrase isn't 'Where's Waldo?'"  
  
Chuckling, Riley opened his arms to embrace his sarcastic wife, "What do you have against Waldo? He taught me to be the literature lovin' guy I am today."  
  
Tifa laughed at her husband's non-chalant joking nature while cuddling up against his chest, taking in his masculine scent. She wouldn't lie, sometimes, she wished it was Cloud lying besides her and making jokes with her. But like her father always told her, 'people can't always get what they want. They have to learn to appreciate what they have.' Thank God what she had was something worth praising and keeping.  
  
"You know," Riley began, "I was starting to get worried about you. I actually thought you were going to divorce me or, God forbid, you had someone else in your life."  
  
The ex-AVALANCHE member froze in place, feeling her heart pound up against her ribs painfully. She didn't know why she had that reaction, he wasn't positive of his intuition. It was only a conscientious comment, but Tifa had learned throughout her life that not everything is as it seems. If that was the case, Riley was very close to uncovering the affair she had ruined everything just to cover up.  
  
"What makes you say that?"  
  
"I don't know because you were so distance and cold. It was almost as though you were repulsed just to be around me and I just thought you got tired of me and wanted to get away or that you didn't need my love anymore because you found it in someone else. I don't know, I was just being crazy."  
  
No, he wasn't being crazy at all. Actually, he couldn't be more punctual when it came to pinpointing a confession. But she couldn't say that, the only thing she had to do was steer Riley out in the clear so his suspicions wouldn't rise to the point where he would go looking for answers. Tifa's sacrifice of a relationship with Cloud would not be in vain, the truth would not be uncovered. No matter what extent she had to elevate to, the secret of the affair would remain buried.  
  
"You were being crazy because you should know there's only one guy for me and I'm lying right here in his arms. When it comes up to it and you're against every man walking the planet, there's no contest," Tifa explained, using her arms to lift herself up to gaze into the vast green of her lover's eyes.  
  
"God, I love you."  
  
Allowing herself to be enveloped in Riley's arms, ruby eyes shone with unshed tears she wished would just go away. But she knew better, for until the guilt within her heart disappeared without a trace, the tears would continue to flow. It was a fact she had to accept and a fact that would hopefully vanish as quickly as her hope for a greater purpose.  
  
@--^-----^---------------------  
  
Author's Note : Hey guys, I know it's starting to get slow again, but the events after something major happens are always kinda boring. But I needed to set up a 'morning-after' kinda plot so I promise things will pick up again. I'd like to thank ALL of you for responding to my story even though it hasn't been shown on the main board of FF.net. Knowing this, I know you're actually looking me up and anticipating another chapter. Thanks again, you guys are the reason I'm still writing. 


	14. Back In My Life

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 14 - Back In My Life  
  
If you would just come back to me   
I would be so good  
Put your trust back in me the least I think you should  
We'll call it my pathology so I misunderstood  
A bit selfish I should be if I could change I would  
See it on my face  
  
Nine Days - Back To Me  
  
  
"Aw, c'mon Tifa! You promised you wouldn't worry about the bar today."  
  
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't afford to just leave the bar alone. You know that," Tifa convinced, placing her top back on while running her slender fingers through her hair to make it at least look presentable.  
  
"I know, and you know I accept that, but sometimes I wonder if we're ever going to have a peaceful day, just me and you. No bar included," Riley replied, sitting up in bed while stubbornly entwining his arms across his chest.  
  
"Don't be like that, we will have our day together, I promise you that, but you know we both need to make some sacrifices in order to keep the payments on our bills running smoothly."  
  
"Yeah, I know that, but for once I would love winning against an inanimate object when it comes to my wife's interests."  
  
Turning around, a smile played Tifa's expression as she placed a hand on her hip in an almost 'is-that-so' way. She knew Riley loved toying with her emotions, and he knew she loved to do the same. It was almost a mutual agreement secretly added into their vows as husband and wife and honestly, she loved that about their relationship. It wasn't always deathly serious, there was some enjoyment to it as well.  
  
"Have Ayn keep you company," the unruly brunette proclaimed, reaching back and tossing the novel she was reading onto the bed, "and if you consider her your new found love, we'll call it even on the battle against the inanimate objects."  
  
"Deal," Riley agreed, unfolding his arms and reaching forward to pick up the book, defeated, "but honestly, I will never know what this crazy woman is saying. Kind of reminds me of you."  
  
A scrunchy, Tifa used to put in her hair when it was long, came flying at Riley, hitting him right between the eyes. Even though Tifa specialized in fist fighting, her aim wasn't half bad.  
  
"Hey, just because I speak the truth doesn't mean violence has to be brought into the picture," the joking man exclaimed while shielding himself from any further attacks Tifa may send his way.  
  
"You haven't seen violence yet!"  
  
Lunging herself forward, Tifa jumped into bed and onto Riley's lap, a fit of laughter escaping both of them. He grabbed onto his wife playfully, holding her small body against his as to disable her. It was a battle of the sexes, and it appeared as though Riley was winning. That was until Tifa used all the upper body strength she had within her to give her the benefit of the doubt so some circulation could course through her arms. Using the advantage, the brunette wasted no time and grabbed Riley's wrist gently, as to not injure him, and swiftly placed it behind his back.  
  
"So, it just looks like you got your ass kicked by little 'ol me," Tifa whispered in Riley's attentive ear as she rested her knee on his back and kept a firm grip on his wrist, "a girl could get used to that."  
  
"A guy could get used to that, too, what a turn on," Tifa's husband joked while keeping his cheek on the bed, his arm beginning to loose circulation, "but sweetheart, no matter how much of a turn on the dominatrix vibe may be, my arm's going numb so could you kindly release me."  
  
Tifa looked up at ceiling in an almost pondering way, a look of seriousness locked on her face. Placing her ruby eyes back on the powerless man below her, a smile played her lips as she playfully proclaimed, "I'm not sure if that concept applies right at this moment, I'm enjoying my position on top."  
  
"You know if my arm wasn't loosing it's blood flow, I'd be very intrigued," Riley explained while feeling Tifa's grip loosening on his arm, "and plus, I'm feeling very meek right at this moment. I thought I was supposed to be the big, strong man in the relationship."  
  
"You are, but fate decided you were too intimidating with all that 'manly' power, so it decided to permanently involve you with a 'big, strong woman.' But don't feel bad, I 'was' involved in the infamous mission against saving this earth from the Apocalypse, let's just use that as you're cover line against any incriminating evidence that might be used against you in the near future," Tifa explaining while kissing her husband lovingly on the cheek and making her way off the bed carefully, "and speaking of the Apocalypse, I'm late for work."  
  
Laughing, Riley grabbed the brunette's wrist gently and pulled her towards him for one last kiss before her departure. He loved this woman and didn't know what he'd do without her. Actually, he considered himself the luckiest man alive to have this woman by his side for the rest of their natural life.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I love you," she whispered, kissing Riley's nose and cheek with care. In a way, Tifa felt feeling all the love towards Riley in her heart made it easier to continue with her life. Luckily, it was an easy penance against the sins she had committed.  
  
"OK, have a great day, baby."  
  
Touching his nose playfully, she sang, "Of course I'll have a great day with you being in my thoughts and all."  
  
Riley kept the smile on his face as he watched Tifa waved and blow him a kiss before exiting their bedroom. Laying back down on the pillow, he touched his lips where his wife had just kissed him. God, he was so lucky, at least that was the way he felt each and every day. And each and every day, he got on his knees and counted his blessings for the life he was more than fortunate to possess.  
  
@----^-----^------------  
  
Cloud Strife sat on the fire escape of the Wallace villa, his eyes glued on the journal he was writing intensely in as he blew excess smoke out of his mouth of the cigarette he held in his right hand. He had just given Marlene a lesson in the art of playing the guitar, which was his interpretation of human interaction, and now he just needed to be alone to think of all the events that had occurred in his life that brought him to this very moment. The events that were supposedly meant to lead him to his 'destiny.'  
  
His destiny included Tifa, he knew that, so why was it all the events that occurred in his past brought him to the turning point where she wanted nothing to do with him. How could fate be so cruel to one person? Maybe it was a revenge plot for being so obscure to his surroundings. Maybe it was all brought on by his behalf for never opening the eyes he rarely used and looking at what was right in front of him all along. Cloud never saw Tifa for who she really was, and now, he was paying for it.  
  
Sighing, Cloud shut his journal and threw the cigarette butt over the railing and onto the public ground below. Life was so unfair, but he should've known that little factor ever since his father disappeared and his mother was murdered in that massacre brought on by Sephiroth so long ago. But he always hoped, since he was cursed an orphan, that life would repay him for all the pain which infected him. Unfortunately, Cloud still awaits results, which refuse to appear.  
  
Resting his back as he leaned against the post of the window sill, Cloud extended his foot and observed all of Kalm's citizens in action. They looked so happy, so blessed with a life he had never experienced before. A life which he envied. A life he would give anything, including a necessary body organ, to be a part of. He may have the fame and national attention which some people craved, but that didn't satisfy him. There were too many secrets that plagued him and too many injustices which weren't justified. But Cloud Strife knew his destiny. He knew the reason why he placed on this Earth and that was to salvage people's souls. He was here to defend the merciless even though it gave him nothing but a life of misery. It was his gift....it was his curse.  
  
This, in Cloud's mentality, was his purgatory. This was his opportunity to prove himself and make his rights wrong. And that was exactly what he was doing, he was fulfilling his life's mission, exploiting his gift. He knew so much, and was so wise in the ways of the world, so then why couldn't he figure out the simple question of why Tifa just cut the cord on their relationship? She looked so happy and all of a sudden almost in a fit of anger, completely destroyed their link. Or at least, attempted to. That was what life could give him in return for all his faithful service. Just the simple answer to the torturing question, why?  
  
Averting his gaze from the far reaching blue sky, Cloud's eyes fell upon a small framed girl with short raven hair. The only woman he could ever seriously recognize from far away. Watching her move towards the bar, a voice inside his head screamed, 'What are you waiting for, go get your answer!' And before he knew it, Cloud was leaping up and making his way down the fire escape without second questioning his single minded motive.  
  
@---^-----^--------------------  
  
Opening the door to the dark bar, Tifa unlatched the key from the lock and placed it's contents back in her pocket. She was exhausted and working was the farthest thing from her mind. But the bar was almost an escape from the guilt she felt whenever she was around Riley. An escape route and a money maker equaled a very appealing solution. A solution she didn't think was possible to pass up.  
  
Whistling to herself a tune she heard on the radio this morning, the tenacious brunette began her route around the bar, dispatching the barstools from it's comfortable positions on the bar to the floor swiftly. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad, she couldn't help continuously telling herself. It was the only thing which kept her from running away from her job back to the comfortable villa and into the arms of the man who loved her more than life itself. Today wouldn't be so bad, she knew it.  
  
"Tifa?"  
  
Dropping the barstool on her foot and yelping in pain after the realization of who's voice it belonged to, Tifa bitterly cursed her conscience for jinxing her. As she turned around, the cold face, which was used on her previous rejection phase, was immediately placed on the once warm face, "What do you want? I thought I made it obviously clear that I want nothing to do with you."  
  
He couldn't help but recoil at the ice of her voice. She never sounded as cruel as she did at this moment. What happened? It couldn't have been something he did or it would have been obviously clear. Instead of vocalizing his internal question, Cloud stood there, just staring at the woman he now hardly knew. She looked the same, but yet, represented something so different.  
  
"Wha..what," Tifa stammered, internally slapping herself for sounding so weak at a moment she knew she needed the most strength. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Why couldn't he just walk away like all the other guys? But she didn't need to vocalize those questions to figure out the answer. The problem was so simple, the most clueless of the airheads could have figured it out. He loved her, and that simple fact scared her more than the monsters she encountered as a member of AVALANCHE.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
She looked at the blonde man ahead, completely confused at his question. He came back into her life after she specifically told him not to to ask her the already known answer of who she was? It was enough to make the volcano within her explode with unreasonable rage. Tifa wasn't completely upset with Cloud, for she found no reason to be. She was just incredibly annoyed that he was making the situation so much more difficult than it had to be.  
  
"Who am I? What kind of a question is that? You know exactly who I am unless you developed a case of Alzheimer those years you've been away. Though I'm not surprised, I expected some kind of mental deficiency in your near future," Tifa bit back, sarcasm oozing from her comment.  
  
"Stop the bullshit because I'm seriously tired of it! I don't know who you are because you're certainly not Tifa Lockheart," Cloud shouted furiously, surprised at his own anger capability.  
  
Stepping back for a moment, Tifa almost immediately recovered and went back into the game for another inning, "What the hell are you talking about?! Seriously, are you deranged because there are clinics for that! Actually, now that I think about it, I think a room with padded walls would be the safest and most definitely best place for you! Of course I'm Tifa Lockheart, who else would I be?!"  
  
"No! You're not Tifa Lockheart! At least not the Tifa Lockheart I knew and grew up with. The Tifa Lockheart who knew exactly what I was thinking and had this uncanny capability of finishing my sentences! The Tifa Lockheart who cared more about the well-being of her friends and mankind then the well-being of herself! THAT is the Tifa Lockheart I know...or at least I knew," Cloud exclaimed, a hardness, which hasn't been seen since Aeris' death, becoming visible in his sapphire eyes.  
  
"Well, guess what?! That Tifa's dead, she's been dead for a long time," Tifa screamed back, a look of resentment crossing her features abruptly, "I can't help the changes which I overcome, I could only embrace them! I'm sorry you find my attitude so bitter and I'm sorry you expected a happily ever after ending when you returned, but this isn't a fairy tale and not all the stories of our lives ends in happiness! Get used to that fact of life, Cloud, or this world's gonna eat you alive if it hasn't already!"  
  
"If I wasn't listening to you with my own ears, I would have never believed in what you turned into, I didn't think it was naturally possible. For a girl, who loved life so much, to hate her existence and everything surrounding her so drastically. Don't apologize to me, I'm not the one who you should be feeling sorry for....if anyone needs the pity, it's you, Tifa. You, and only you."  
  
The bar was completely silent for the longest time as the two grown individuals stared at each other in confusion. As Tifa stood with complete sorrow and regret grasping her heart so tightly it was impossible to remove, Cloud remained cold and distant, not allowing his heart to feel any more pain than he had experienced already. He had allowed Tifa in deep once and look where it had gotten them, if it was the last breath he ever took on Earth, never again would he open his heart so easily to another woman.  
  
"I think you should leave...."  
  
Shaking his head, Cloud harshly answered, "You read my mind," before turning around and preparing to leave.  
  
"Cloud," Tifa exclaimed, resisting the urge to slap herself, as she bit her bottom lip lightly yet nervously.  
  
Stopping in the doorway without turning around to face the desperate Tifa, Cloud asked, "What?"  
  
'...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you. I'm sorry for completely leading you on when I knew there was nothing but unhappiness left at the end of the tunnel. I'm sorry for blaming you for Yuffie's death. And over all, I'm sorry for ever questioning whether our friendship was worth the struggle we endured all these years. I understand if you don't want to speak to me ever again, and honestly, that was on my top 10 list of ways to redeem myself for the horrible indiscretion I committed. But then I realized, I don't know what I'd do without you in my life, we've always been there for each other and if I ever let anything come in the middle of that....I would never be able to forgive myself. Be angry with me if you want, but please don't hate me....'  
  
That was what she wanted to say, but no words would escape her mouth. She was frozen to the floor as emotions coursed through her being. Her heart was screaming for her to tell Cloud what was on her mind, but the voice of reason had other plans and forbade her to. It was an all out war inside the body of Tifa Lockheart and there was no way to stop it. Why was it so difficult to make a final decision when she already knew what she wanted?  
  
Cloud turned around and stared at his immobile childhood friend, anger suddenly visible in his eyes, "What, Tifa?! You want me to go now you're telling me to stay! Make up your mind because frankly, you're making me feel really inadequate right about now!"  
  
"Forget it.....just leave, I think it'll be better that way," Tifa explained, turning her back and facing the bar as tears hurried themselves to the surface. Begging her heart to stop bleeding she told herself over and over not to cry, that the tears weren't worth shedding. She had a man in her life, who actually did care about her enough to 'stay' in her life.  
  
"No, you know what, I do have one more thing to say to you before I leave, for good," she heard Cloud exclaimed and felt warm hands touch her shoulder and turn her around forcefully so she was face to face with the shimmering blue she loved to gaze at.  
  
"I do love you, but I'm not going to stick around like a fool waiting for you to love me back! We were in love before and when we made love, I felt it. I felt it, Tifa, and don't tell me you didn't feel it either when I know you did! That emotion, that feeling, was what I held on to....I felt it when I was away from you two years ago, your face was the first and last thing I saw before I went to sleep at night. That feeling I felt brought me back to you, that feeling is real.....that feeling is the only good thing I have EVER experienced in my life and nobody will ever take that away from me. Not even you," Cloud proclaimed, "so tell me you don't love me, but know that there will always be that spark which would never die, no matter how much effort you put into killing it."  
  
"What's going on here?!"  
  
Tifa's eyes violently broke away from Cloud's, looking back towards the doorway to the bar. The person who stood there made her heart leap into her throat, choking her so no air could bless her lungs. She felt herself become lightheaded before whispering out the name she held so dearly to her, "Riley...." 


	15. Caught!

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 15 : Caught!  
  
That's rock bottom  
When this life makes you mad enough to kill  
That's rock bottom  
When you want somethin' bad enough to steal  
That's rock bottom  
When you feel like you've had it up to here  
'cuz you're mad enough to scream but you're sad enough to tear  
  
- Eminem : Rock Bottom  
  
  
"Riley....."  
  
"Tifa, what's going on here," Riley asked, eyes full of confusion and question as the hands which held blossoming orchids shook violently.  
  
'Did he know? OK, Teef, approach this with caution, you don't wanna get burned.'  
  
Grinning slightly, Tifa ran to a suspecting Riley, not nearly as surprised as she should have been when he pulled back. He knew, was all she could tell herself before looking into the betrayed green eyes of the man she was supposed to love. It felt like a knife was repeatedly stabbing her in the chest, almost as though it's mission was to take her heart away from her body. How could this have happen, she was so careful? But obviously, judging by the confrontation that was about to take place, she wasn't careful enough.  
  
"So I thought to myself," Riley began before walking around a frozen Tifa and into the awkward filled bar, "my 'wife' seems like she had a bad day. She just looked like she needed a pick-me-up, so I decided to go to the local florist, pick you up a bouquet of flowers, and surprise her. When, ironically, I was the one who received the surprise! The surprise that I wasn't man enough to please my wife enough to remain faithful....."  
  
"Riley please....."  
  
"Shut up! I'm not finished. What's even worse was when I asked you to be honest with me this morning, the moment I asked you if there was another man, you said no. You specifically lied, right to my face! But what can I expect from you, you're nothing but a lier," the furious, green eyed man exclaimed, throwing the flowers on the floor defeatedly.  
  
"Riley, it's not like that at all! I can explain this," Tifa begged, stepping forward and trying to wrap her arms around her ailing husband when noticing the tears brimming on the surface of the beautiful green of his eyes.  
  
"Don't touch me," he screamed while backing away and pointing an accusing finger at her. Turning towards Cloud in pure anger, he exclaimed, "And you, you bastard," before lunging at him blindly.  
  
"Riley, stop," Tifa shouted loudly while placing her hands over her mouth in horror. What had she done? This was her doing and she could do nothing but watch on in horror as the two men she loved began fighting it out, to what it appeared to be the death.   
  
Cloud was tackled backwards, his head lightly smacking against the bar as he felt Riley's heavy body above his. Riley screamed as he squarely punched the unsuspecting blonde across the jaw. Blocking the next attempted hit, Cloud used his knee to place a gap between the two battling men and returned the hit at Riley with such a tremendous force it sent him sailing backwards a couple of feet.   
  
"Stop," Cloud exclaimed while getting up onto his feet, feeling a bit woozy after the collision with the bar. His vision blurred and if it wasn't for his excellent, keen instinct, he wouldn't have noticed his attacker charging at him once again.  
  
Sidestepping the attack, the ex-AVALANCHE leader grabbed onto Riley's extended wrist and swung him into the bar with his arm placed securely behind him. Leaning forward he maniacally exclaimed, "Stop, because you don't even remotely know what you're getting yourself into!"  
  
"I'm not afraid of you! You're nothing but a homewrecker! Me and Tifa were happy, why couldn't you just leave her alone," the squirming male screamed out angrily, feeling unwanted tears blur his vision to the equivalence of Cloud's.  
  
He let go of his grip and stepped back while wiping the blood from his sore lip and the corner of his mouth. Turning around, Cloud saw Tifa, her face buried into her hands as her body shook with sobs. He had caused so much pain over his selfishness. He had Tifa once and look what had been the result of that momentary happiness. So much unnecessary pain. The pain for these people would end soon because Cloud would leave, and this time, it would be permanent.  
  
"Don't even worry about me anymore because by tonight, I'll be outta here for good," Cloud proclaimed before walking towards Tifa and lifting her face up to meet his disturbed gaze, "look at the pain I caused you. Look at the pain I caused everyone, why did you make that wish on the star? Why did you ever curse my thoughts and make me come back? Why didn't you just let me die?"  
  
A single tear slipped from Tifa's ruby eyes as she watched him disappear from her sight and out of the bar. Looking back up to Riley, she opened and closed her mouth, expecting so many words to come pouring out. But to her disdain, there was nothing. Only air which she felt she didn't even deserve to breathe.  
  
"I gotta get out of here..."  
  
"Riley, please wait," Tifa shouted as she ran after his fleeing form, unable to stop the tears from escaping onto the surface of her cheeks. This was it, her punishment for a simple, yet life altering mistake. She would loose both the men she loved just from selfish desire, "please! Just hear me out!"  
  
"Hear you out? Hear you out! You don't deserve to explain your side of the story! An affair is a two way solution, unless he raped you which I hardly think is the case," Riley shouted in anguish before turning his back on the woman he loved, "I just need to be alone. At least give me that."  
  
"Riley," Tifa whispered as she watched him step on the orchids he brought to surprise her and walked out of the darkened bar. In one day, the life she had spent two years building, had crumbled down on her. That wasn't even the part which horrified her the most. The most unbearable part of that comment was she would never be able to rebuild it. The shambles were so obscure, it was impossible to know which was which.  
  
Watching him leave, Tifa closed her eyes and allowed the tears, which she held for so many events that had occurred these past 2 years, to flow. Once that tear fell, so many others followed and it became impossible to stop. This problem was UN-repairable, and her once simple life, never before seemed so.....surreal.  
  
"Hey, Tifa, are you busy?!"  
  
Wiping the tears quickly away from her eyesight, Tifa Locheart spun around quickly to face a pair of violet eyes with a smile on her face. This woman reminded her so much of Yuffie, it was almost uncanny. The ebony hair, the sharp yet hyperactive violet eyes, and the small framed build. If she didn't know better, Tifa would've sworn the young ninja had risen from the dead. It wouldn't be a shocker though, Yuffie was just that stubborn.  
  
"Hey, Sammie. Come on in, what can I do for you," Tifa asked courteously, even though every ounce of her being was feeling very bitter at the moment. Courtesy was honestly the farthest desired action from her mind.  
  
"Well, I was just wondering if I could still count on you to DJ the rave in Midgar tonight," the smaller woman asked, entering the bar carefully as she watched Tifa get behind the bar and clean off the glasses quickly.  
  
"Rave?" Tifa asked curiously before she stopped cleaning of the glass, mind completely shot from the events which had occurred just shortly before. DJ a Rave? It was seriously something the young bartender didn't even slightly remember and something of this magnitude would have struck out in a separate column of importance.  
  
"Oh, Tifa, no! Don't tell me forgot," Sammie proclaimed while folding her arms across her chest disappointedly, "you promised me two weeks ago you would do me this favor! If you don't DJ tonight, I won't find someone nearly as good as you at the last minute and I'll have to call the rave off. And frankly, I'm seriously not in the least bit of moods to deal with unhappy ravers who were looking for a party which was canceled!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Sammie. I completely forgot my promise, but something just came up and I'm not in the mood to deal with a bunch of teenyboppers and instigators, high on ecstasy."  
  
Tifa continued to clean the glass in her hand, not in the mood to deal with any outside influences when her marriage was on the rocks and about to take the plunge. Not only that, but a friendship she had cherished more than anything had just exploded into UN-mendable debris. Sammie was one of her closest friends and she would do anything for her, but at this moment, she wouldn't save an elderly woman caught in the middle of traffic.  
  
"Please, Teef. I need to have this rave, I seriously need the money. You know how sick Gisele is, and if I don't get the money from tonight to give her that operation she's gonna die....I don't know what I'd do if my daughter died," Sammie whimpered, tears building their way to the surface as she looked to the side in embarrassment.  
  
Tifa placed the glass on the bar carefully and looked at the raven haired woman in front of her. She didn't want to DJ, but she didn't want her friend to suffer any further than she had. Life hadn't been fair to Sammie or her daughter, and all Tifa could do was help her out as much as possible. Although her subconscience argued with her, her mouth spoke out, "Fine, I'll do this. But only for Gisele."  
  
Looking up almost as quickly enough to produce whiplash, Sammie second asked, "What? Did you just say you would DJ the rave tonight?!"  
  
"Yeah, that's what I said," the bartender soothed, placing both her hands on the extending bar to support her body as a small smile graced her distinct features, "where do you want me to meet you and what time do you want me to set up?"  
  
"Meet me outside the Wall Market at about 8 tonight. Don't worry about bringing anything, I'll have a turn table out for you and discs for you to spin," the violet eyed woman exclaimed excitedly, "thank you so much, Tifa! You seriously just saved me from an early heart attack and possible aneurysm."  
  
"Now we wouldn't want that, now would we," Tifa asked pointedly, a lopsided grin sketching her face showing a little sarcastic humor, "I'll meet you outside of the Wall Market at 8, now get out of my bar before I change my mind."  
  
Having a rag tossed at her, Sammie gave a wide smile and winked playfully, "See you later then, and if you don't show up, you better not have high hopes of sleeping tonight."  
  
Glancing upwards in thought, Tifa's eyes fell back on Sammie while firing, "I was never fond of a good night sleep, anyway. Waste of perfectly good time where you could be finishing a jigsaw puzzle or what not."  
  
"Tifa!"  
  
"Relax, I'll be there."  
  
Smiling once again, Sammie waved a good-bye and uttered another thank you before rushing out of her friend's workplace in fear of a second-thought rejection. As Tifa watched her practically fly out, she threw down the second rag she was working and uttered miserably, "Shit."  
  
@---^-------^-----------------  
  
Cloud Strife exited Kalm quickly without a second word, grabbing the cigarette from behind his ear and lighting it up. He would have gone back to the Wallaces but the nagging fear of actually doing something stupid under the influence of his emotions kept him back. He couldn't believe he let himself get so caught up in a relationship, even though he knew this specific relationship would work out if it wasn't for the obvious fact it was under the strict confines of an affair. Tifa was his life, now that she was gone, so was his reason for being.  
  
Blowing out the excess smoke, the blonde haired traveler continued his walk unaware he was drawing closer and closer to Midgar. Ever since the fight with Hojo and Sephiroth and Midgar being the center of the intentioned battles, it had become a World-Wide famous resort city where travelers would leave their homes in far off lands just to embrace the history of their survival. Cloud never did understand why though. Even when Midgar was a bustling city, full of life and energy, it was still a dump. Today, it's just an infamous dump.   
  
As Cloud kicked the occasional rock and continued to exhale out the smoke from his burning cigarette, as though it was the only thing keeping him sane, he moved closer and closer towards the city. Maybe one peek inside wouldn't kill him even though the tourists probably will. Shuddering at the thought of a thousand cameras going off and a million, 'Aren't you Cloud Strife, the man who saved the world?!' and 'Did you know now you're a superhero!' Why? Just because he saved the planet from destruction. What was the big deal?  
Before, he didn't have what it took to make first rank SOLDIER, now, people were calling him the Superman of reality. Forget it, he didn't need the unwanted attention, even though he did appreciate it when the time was right.  
  
Cloud moved away from Midgar and decided to travel east to the Chocobo farm near the caves. Maybe if he was lucky, the owner would give him his very own Chocobo for free just for his hero status. It wasn't the first time it ever stopped him. Free dinners, free books, free car rentals, free everything. It was almost as though the world was repaying him for the sacrifice he made. But as much as he felt grateful, he also felt guilty. Cloud wasn't a hero, at least that's what he thought. The real hero who made the ultimate sacrifice fore this planet was Aeris, and the irony was, no one even mentioned her name.  
  
Sighing as he turned around and tossed the burnt out nicotine tube, Cloud felt a flyer slam up against his leg from the sudden gust of wind which blew through the land. As if on cue, curiosity entered his cerebellum and he was already reaching down with determination to pick it up. Cloud flapped the crinkled, neon green paper and read the huge print followed by the smaller one.  
  
'RAVE PARTY : MAY 16 : 9PM-3AM / COORDINATED BY SAMMIE AMBROSIO /   
DJ : TIFA LOCKHEART / LOCATED IN THE ABANDONED MANSION OF THE PREVIOUS DON CORNEO IN THE MIDGAR WALL MARKET / MUSIC AND DRINKS PROVIDED - $5 COVER CHARGE'  
  
Shock flooded Cloud's senses as the contents of the flyer sunk in. Since when was Tifa a DJ? Actually, to rewind and start from the beginning, since when did Tifa actually attend a Rave? The Tifa Lockheart he previously knew never set foot in a party which involved possible drug usage mixed with rowdy teenagers and adults. She was definitely too innocent to be exposed to that. But then again, she had changed drastically since he had left. The wild side was exposed along with a colder one.  
  
Folding the flyer up and placing it securely in his pocket, Cloud allowed a smile of mischief to cross his once stern features. He finally had somewhere to go tonight and for the first time in the 2 years since he had been alienated, he was going to have fun.  
  
@----^----^-----------------------  
  
It was 6pm, and Tifa was already running late. Not only did she want to have a decent conversation with her husband before going off to the rave, she wanted to sit Barrett down and explain everything that had happened. She knew he would find out very soon, for news traveled fast in Kalm, but Tifa didn't want him to find out by word of the public mouth. Those words always did tend to take a turn for the exaggerated.  
  
Turning the key and pulling it out to put in safely back in her pocket, Tifa ran towards her Vila at a tremendous speed, praying to the gods above that Riley had returned home from his walk already. Fear struck in her heart that if he didn't turn up now, he would never turn up again, "Please, Riley, be home!"   
  
As she continued to run, Tifa knew she was being watched closely by a certain cafe owner and honestly, she had half a mind to raise a finger which wasn't exactly named appropriate. But there was no time for petty 'finger pointing,' Tifa was on a mission which had to be completed. A mission her life literally depended on it.  
  
Tifa, after feeling like she ran a 10-mile marathon which just wouldn't end, finally reached her comfortable home. Reaching for the knob, she turned it and opened the door quickly, obviously noticing it was unlocked. Hope filled her heart at that small notion as she called out her husband's name to satisfy it's suspicion.  
  
Nothing.  
  
'Please, God, please let him be home.'  
  
"Riley!"  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Anxiety met up with the young woman at a tremendous rate as she looked into the kitchen and rushed her way into the living room where she met a sight which shattered her heart into the tiniest of pieces. There, on the couch, sat her husband, watching the video from their wedding in conscientious silence.  
  
"You looked so happy...I didn't know that our wedding would be the beginning to your burden," Riley called out, noticing his wife behind him, without shifting his gaze once from the movie playing in front of him.  
  
"I...our wedding wasn't a burden to me, it was a blessing," Tifa responded honestly, ruby eyes also focusing on the joyful man and woman on the television set, feeding each other cake. It took everything in her power not to break down from the sight before her and the words which came from that man's mouth.  
  
"Wow, where did you acquire such a skillful habit of lying? You know, you're so convincing if I didn't know better, I would have believed you."  
  
"Riley, stop," Tifa exclaimed, choking back a sob as she tore her eyes away from the screen and made her way around the couch to sit, "I'm telling the truth, look in my eyes, don't you see it?"  
  
Shaking his head while looking away to pause the video, he murmured dejectedly, "I don't know what I see anymore. Our marriage, our happiness all seems to be an illusion I created just to fulfill my selfish desire of a perfect life."  
  
"Please, don't say that. Please say anything but that," Tifa whispered, moving her lover's face with her fingers to make eye-contact with her. It was so hard to look into his eyes, to see the betrayal and slight hatred which subsided in them. But she felt like she owed it to him to see what he was feeling. To see, 'him,' the real Riley.  
  
Grabbing onto her hand, green eyes shook with anger as he asked, "Don't say what? The truth? I'm sorry if that scares you, Tifa, but right now that's all that's keeping me here trying to work things out between us.....but honestly, the more I sit here with you, the more I know things will never be the same. Ever. The more I sit here with you, the more I love you....and the more I hate you."  
  
She allowed him to hold onto her hand. She allowed him to see into her heart. She allowed him to do anything he wished. But she would never allow him to leave, not without a fight.  
Leaning down to kiss his fingers, Tifa breathed, "I love you so much and I won't say I didn't feel anything for that man I had an affair with because I did and most likely still do."  
  
"Then go to him," Riley roared, pushing Tifa's hand away bitterly while standing up, "if you love him so much to risk a marriage which could have lasted a lifetime, then you pack your things and go to him! I'm not gonna hold you back because I don't wanna be with a woman who wants two men in her life. A woman who can't have one man to satisfy her, they have names for women like that, Tifa!"  
  
"Riley, please! I'm confused," Tifa cried, tears blurring her vision as she stood up as well, "but over my confusion, don't give up on us. If I ever needed you to do one thing for me which would determine our whole future, don't give up!"  
  
"I don't wanna give up on us, but how much can one man take! I love you, Tifa, I would do anything for you! How could you doubt that?!"  
  
"I don't! I don't doubt that for one-second. If I had lost faith in everything in this world except one thing, it would be that belief in your love for me!"  
  
"Then why are you so confused? If you know I love you with my whole being then why would you question your heart," Riley asked, lowering the decibels in his voice considerably low, but continued to have his back turned to the raven haired woman behind him.  
  
"I'm not questioning your love or my heart. I just don't know what to believe, what to consider real. Cloud, the man I had....an affair with, I loved him for God only knows how long. I've always had this certain bond to him which was unbreakable," the pleading form of Tifa explained, not bothering to wipe the running tears from her eyes in knowing there would be more where that came from, "he left so long ago and I waited and waited for him to come back. When I finally realized he wasn't gonna come back to me, I never thought I would love anyone with the same passion ever again. Then you came into my life, turntable and all and you turned my perspective and life upside-down. I resented you for that for a while, but then, I was so grateful to get a second chance to experience what I missed out on."  
  
Riley couldn't help but smile at her analogy. He loved this woman which was why it was so hard to picture ever leaving her. He wanted to make things work so badly, but he just didn't know how to. An affair never was something unexpected, but Riley learned, especially from this experience, always expect the unexpected.  
  
"I know you love me, even though it's hard to believe, but I feel it every time you look at me with those eyes. Those big, ruby eyes," Riley murmured before turning around to face his shivering wife, "sometimes I wonder how a rose so beautiful could have so many thorns."  
  
"Contrary to the way you want the world to work, every rose has thorns," Tifa explained, a determined expression locked on her face.  
  
"Yeah, they do, but unfortunately, your thorns prickled too deeply. I need some time to figure things out and I think you do as well. I think you need to settle yourself down and look in your heart to see who resides there. Me or Clod."  
  
"Cloud," Tifa corrected, shaking her head quickly, "but that's besides the point. I know what I want, and I want you."  
  
Riley stood in the center of the living room, staring down at his beautiful wife. It was so difficult to say what he had to say. To set her free. But it wasn't fair to him or Tifa if he swooped himself back into this uncertain marriage when she had a confused heart. She needed her time and he needed his, that was all there was to it.  
  
"I want you to do what you usually do, go about your daily routine and just take some time to yourself to ponder about your life. Can you do me that favor? Can you promise me you'll keep an open mind and sort this romantic problem you have troubling your mind," he asked firmly, not backing down from his conquest.  
  
"But...."  
  
"No, buts Tifa. You asked me not to give up on us, now I'm asking you to hear me out. The road to recuperating a marriage isn't easy and it isn't one sided either. Promise me you'll take some time to sort this out, promise me now or there's no deal......we don't work out our differences."  
  
Tifa stood there for the longest time, contemplating what she had to say. She knew, no doubt in her mind, that if she took time to figure things out, there was a definite chance she would go running back into the arms of Cloud Strife. No matter how tempting that offer sounded, she couldn't let her desires get the best of her. Tifa's petty wants got her into the situation she was in right now. Now way was she going to travel back down that road again.  
  
"OK, I'll follow your terms even though I don't need time to figure out where my destiny lies," the brunette proclaimed, sure of herself, "but what I do want is for you to come see your has-been apprentice in action tonight. Sammie asked me to DJ a rave at the abandoned mansion in the Wall Market....it would mean so much to me."  
  
"We'll see," the green-eyed man told his hopeful love painfully, crossing his arms across his chest objectively, "remember, take some time to yourself. I'll be upstairs if you need me."  
  
Watching Riley exit the living room without a second glance, Tifa remained in awe of how much her life was ruined in one split second. In that one-second, complete happiness she had worked so hard to accomplish had lost balance on it's pedestal and came crashing down. So much pain from so much pleasure. The saying pain is love never seemed so clear to one's life as it did at this moment. But there it was, for the whole world to judge, the life of Tifa Lockheart, created from destiny's grudge. 


	16. Two Guys, One Girl, and a Turntable

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 16 : Two Guys, One Girl, and a Turntable  
  
Objection!   
I'm tired of this triangle  
Got dizzy dancing the tango  
I'm falling apart in your hands again  
No way, I've got to get away  
  
- Shakira : Objection  
  
Tifa ran her fingers through her blow-dried hair quickly, allowing for a small amount of gel to form an unruly yet acceptable style. After leaving her hair be, she grabbed onto the small lipstick tube of a wicked berry color and left the trail of it's shade on her lips. The beauty of Tifa Lockheart was she didn't care for her appearance as much as the average woman. Her process of attraction was an almost always messy-do with lipstick and eyeliner. That's all the make-up she would ever allow to touch her face.  
  
Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, she shrugged and made her way out of the bedroom, grabbing her coat off her bed in the process. Riley had decided to take a stroll through Kalm while Tifa got ready and went out to fulfill her obligation. He was most definitely going to go see Veronica, no doubt about it, and she did have her insecurities about that. Only because the brunette had a feeling the cafe owner would tear whatever dignity was left in her name and completely obliterate it. But what could she do about it?  
  
Skipping down the steps, Tifa quickly swung her jacket over her almost exposed upper torso. She didn't usually dress this risque, but when she DJed, Tifa took on a completely different identity. Tonight, she was wearing a black dress bra along with very low riding dark denim jeans and black boots to match. Over time, since the young DJ had fallen into a depression, she lost a lot of weight from malnourishment. Along with that weight, her chest as well as her hip size decreased considerably. Barrett, as well as the others, began to worry for Tifa's health and soon confronted her.   
  
As she moved through the living room, Tifa entered the kitchen, approached the refrigerator, and pulled back the door to reach for the grapefruit juice within it's cold walls. This was destined to be a very long night, she had a feeling, and if those thoughts were correct, a lot of energy was going to be needed to keep her going. Disc Jockeying never was a strain for her before, but today had taken a toll out of her mentally and emotionally. Actually, Tifa would rather be curled up in bed with a large carton of Vanilla Ice Cream and whip cream to give her the comfort she needed. But Sammie and her innocent child depended on her tonight, and she would give them the satisfaction of knowing she was at their service.  
  
Taking one large gulp, the brunette downed the remainder of the juice and placed the used glass in the sink with the other dishes and UN-cleanly utensils. That was another thing she had to do, wash the dishes and since Tifa had a feeling she wouldn't be sleeping tonight, she would be sure to accomplish that task after the Rave was finished.  
  
Tifa took in a deep breath and fixed up her jacket before whispering to herself, "Well, Teef, go do your thing," before walking across the kitchen, flipping the light off, and exiting her comfortable home without another second wasted.  
  
@---^------^----------------------  
  
"You knew and you didn't bother to tell me! What kind of an influence are you?!"  
  
Veronica looked timidly at the ground, ashamed that she had hidden such an important asset to Riley's marriage. He had a right to know, but she just wanted to protect him from any unnecessary heartbreak he would have to endure from this trauma. Tifa was a good woman, who went through so much in her life, and Veronica knew that. She just didn't know if the bartender was the right kind of person for Riley. She was rebellious and mysterious, while he was trusting and tame. The four qualities mixed into one batch was like a chemistry experiment gone horribly wrong.  
  
"Riley, listen to me, sweetheart. Tifa is a beautiful woman with a lot of qualities I find very admirable. But she's also very wild....very rebellious. Women like that aren't very suitable for a long time commitment. Maybe you should divorce her and find someone else..."  
  
"No! Don't you understand, I love this woman. I would do ANYTHING for her. I'm not just gonna give up. No way," Riley stated firmly, eyes set in an unbreakable determination. When the young man's voice was so sure of himself and his eyes so hard, there was no changing his mind. That was one thing he and his blushing bride shared, stubbornness. The trait alone was destined to send them up a wall in frustration.  
  
It was what she feared. He was so deeply attached to her, Riley would have to be murdered or seriously disabled on the verge of death to take his grasp off of her. That thought alone was enough to cause Veronica to explode with unexplainable rage. This was a deja-vu she wouldn't allow to take shape. No way would she allow history to repeat itself, there was too much pain located in the past. The past would remain a memory as long as Veronica could help it.  
  
"Why don't you just let her be? It's obvious she loves this young man, if she didn't, she wouldn't have sacrificed everything she had worked for to commit such a sin. You can do so much better," Veronica proclaimed determinedly, blue eyes focused intensely on the man standing in front of her.  
  
"No, I'll never leave her alone. I would die for this woman, and I'm going to tell her that tonight. I'm going to tell her that no matter what obstacles we may encounter in our lives, she will always have me to depend on...I'll always be her lifeboat when she's drowning," the green eyed man exclaimed with satisfaction as a smile became evident, "I need to go."  
  
"Wait, Riley! Where are you going," Veronica screamed after the fleeing man she considered a son to her. Her heart broke at the desperate sight she beheld, unable to subside the tears which made themselves known to the world.  
  
"To go see the woman I love, perform and then to tell her exactly how I feel" Riley shouted back while jumping down the stairs quickly and running towards the exit of Kalm without ever looking back at the ailing Veronica.  
  
"You don't know what kind of pain you're going to encounter," Veronica told the gusting wind, closing her eyes as she allowed a tear to slip down her pale cheek. If Riley didn't give up on Tifa, his world would crumble on top of him. The weight of the world was already struggling on his shoulders, if just one gust of air decided to blow over, it would surely fall right on top of him.  
  
@---^-----^---------------  
  
Jumping from the stairs of the Wallace home, Cloud spun around in a dance and joyfully whistled a tune before making his way towards the door. Tonight, the possibilities were endless. They would either crush him or complete his life, There was no in the middle to this solution, it either devastated or proximate happiness.  
  
"Where are you goin' off to all GQed up?"  
  
Turning around, Cloud smirked slightly and extended his arms while playfully asking, "So, should I take that as a compliment on my attire?"  
  
Cloud was dressed in a UN-tucked white dress shirt with extra baggy black dress pants which slouched down to his hip bones, like all of his other pants, with a sleek black casual coat, which revealed the unbuttoned cuffs of his sleeve and shirt tails that hung sloppily out. A piece of blonde strand hung over one of his blue eyes as the rest of his hair was spiked up in a very messy yet sexy fashion. His facial features matured a great deal over these past two years and he looked almost model-like.  
  
"No, ya should take it as an interrogation on your whereabouts," Barrett pointed out before taking a seat on his recliner comfortably, newspaper in hand as well as a cup of black coffee to help him stay awake for a while longer.  
  
"Way to lead a guy on. Here I'm thinking the compliment was a hint of a secret desire to come out and tell me your secret fantasy of escorting me in my nightlife. You must love to shatter dreams," Cloud retorted, crossing his arms across his chest in disappointment as his eyes were filled with a surreal pain,  
  
"Dream on, and don't give me reason to question your sexuality. You might find yourself back out on the street," Barrett proclaimed while quirking an eyebrow and placing his coffee cup back on the contents of the coaster located on the table besides him.  
  
"I'll keep take that into consideration," the ex-SOLDIER promised while uncrossing his arms, "I'm actually going up to a Rave in Midgar. Tifa's DJing and I wanted to check her out in action."  
  
As quickly as his brown eyes fell on the paper, they just as spastically lifted themselves back up. He had suspicions that Cloud was pursuing Tifa, even though he knew she was happily married. Barrett would be damned if this man swept out of Tifa's life and then immediately back in just to completely destroy what she had spent so long and worked so hard to build here. For once in the past 2 years, this woman was happy, he didn't know what he'd do if her brief satisfaction suddenly ended because of outside influence.  
  
"Cloud, listen man. I know ya care about Tifa, hell, maybe ya possibly love her. But if ya truly loved her you would leave her alone and let her be happy. She worked so hard to get where she is. Ya know how many problems she had to overcome just to get to the level she's at. Ya don't, and let me tell you, I've never seen anythin' so devasatin' in all my life. And trust me, I've seen a lot," Barrett explained briefly while trying to get through to the blond haired man not to pursue a conquest which undoubtedly end in devastation.  
  
"Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. And as much as I would love to sit here and discuss the unfamiliar with you, I have a party to go to, so I'll see you in the morning," Cloud stated, turning his back once again to make his exit. Everything was going great, escape almost made, until Barrett called out, "Cloud?"  
  
Stopping while breathing an obscenity under his breath, Cloud asked in an annoyed, yet courteous tone, "What is it?"  
  
Pausing, the large man stared at Cloud's back, unhappy about the rush in his reassurance of staying away from Tifa, "I mean it. If ya loved her, you would let her live the life she always wanted, no matter how bad it hurts. You'll get over it and you'll find someone else to take her place."  
  
No one would ever take Tifa's place in his heart, and Cloud knew it. Not only would nobody replace her, but not one person would take her away from him, not even the man she was sworn to spend the rest of her life with. As Tifa said this morning, 'nothing is forever. You have a moment of perpetual bliss but not eternity.' He would prove her wrong when it came to living a life with him. Cloud would make her happy, no matter what procedure he had to undergo to accomplish that.  
  
"Thanks for the words of wisdom, Oprah, but if you don't mind I really have to get going," Cloud fired back while turning around to face Barrett with a nonchalantly impatient expression on his face.  
  
"Get outta my sight, smartass," Barrett commanded while watching his friend spin on his heels and exit the warm house without a second question. He wondered about the spiky headed blonde and what his motives were. Even though they were unknown, the ex-AVALANCHE member knew the consequences were going to be nothing to brag about. Hopefully, those repercussions wouldn't ruin 'too' many lives.  
  
@----^-----^----------------------  
  
"Tifa! You made it, thank God!"  
  
Smiling while approaching the partially smaller woman, Tifa quirked an eyebrow in question and asked defensively, "No faith?"  
  
"No, just barely any luck these past couple of days. I just thought you not showing up would have been the icing on the cake," Sammie explained while placing an arm around Tifa's shoulders, "by the way, love the look."  
  
"You don't need to kiss my ass, I'm here aren't I," Tifa joked while moving alongside her close friend with ease. The Wall Market had improved greatly over the years. It acquired more stores and lost the dirtiness to it. Actually, the center looked like a member of an upper class society had made it's mark on the territory. It was very endearing to be honest.  
  
"So, are you ready to spin some discs or what?! And I don't want that long face when you're up there! I want the wild DJ who dances her ass off while scratching the shit out of the disc she's playing," Sammie proclaimed, flipping her long raven hair to the back with ease as she straightened her slinky, sequin halter, "and remember, attitude, attitude, attitude."  
  
"Have I ever had a problem with attitude before?"  
  
Sammie stopped and looked at Tifa for a moment, who stood with her hand at her hips stubbornly. Observing her discreetly while allowing a smile to grace her features, Sammie nodded and stated shortly, "Good point."  
  
As they walked down the narrow aisle of the Wall Market in brief silence, a teenage boy, who stood outside the gym smoking a cigarette, shouted out abruptly, "Hey baby, I'll see your fine ass at the Rave. Make sure to look for me up in that party and know there's a hookup waiting for you."  
  
"I'd rather scratch my eyes out with an SOS pad," Tifa replied bitterly before walking past him without paying him any further mind. She was never so cruel to individuals she didn't even know. But Tifa was a firm believer in first impressions and the impression that he just made wasn't reassuring of inner beauty. Sexual innuendoes usually prevented that.  
  
"Oh, feisty. I'll definitely be lookin' for you!"  
  
"And I'll definitely be keeping my pepper spray handy," Tifa murmured to her companion who stood besides her laughing. Sammie always found Tifa's quaint humor amuzing, especially when she approached the ignorant with it. Attitude and sarcastic humor was a lethal combination which everyone took for granted.  
  
"Alright, here we are," the hyperactive woman proclaimed as she pointed up at the surprisingly well kept, yet abandoned mansion, "the turntables are in the basement, set up in the hall downstairs. With all the boxes we cleared up, you'd be surprised at how much room we created."  
  
"OK, I'll meet you inside then," Tifa stated before making her way inside the mansion carefully. Sammie wasn't exaggerating, with the desk cleared out and all the plants and boxes moved aside, the hall looked like a warehouse. As she climbed the stairs to reach the top, the brunette began to have flashbacks of when Cloud was dressed up like a woman with Aeris at his side. Once she even questioned why Cloud would go through such humiliating antics just to rescue her. He refused to answer.  
  
Walking down the hallway, ruby eyes scanned every aspect of the mansion. It was just as she remembered it 3 years back. The pictures remained exactly in the same position as did the master room and basement. The bright yellow and red wallpaper shades still surrounded the large living quarters. All that differed was there was a slight dank appearance to the place, obviously a result of old age. It didn't matter though, a party was a party, and if people wanted to attend a rave bad enough, they would dance in a gutter if needed to.  
  
Tifa approached the basement after reminiscing of her past years in this sleazy location and made her way down the steps. Sighing as she made her way to the final destination, everything was just as Sammie had told her. The turntable laid securely on the torture table, which would most likely be used to fulfill sexual fantasies tonight, as the records laid on top and the sides as well. On the floor was a platform, which obviously she would need assistance carrying upstairs, to give her her own private space to feel comfortable spinning in.  
  
'I guess I'll just start with the turntable and records. When the bouncer gets here, he can help me with the platform.'  
  
Tifa hauled the turntable over her shoulder after placing the records which remained comfortably on her shoulder next to the others. The object was indeed heavy, but not unbearable. As she moved herself up the stairs, Tifa remembered the first time she had ever used a turntable. God was she horrible. Everytime she would remotely try and scratch a record, instead of receiving it's rhythmic beat, it gave off a high shrill sound as though a cat was being strangled close by. Luckily, Riley came into her life and taught her everything he knew. From the proper way to move your fingers along the record's surface to receive the desired beat you wanted to having enough self confidence to give off a tremendous energy which would allow the crowd to relate to you. Tifa learned quickly as she began falling in love with the handsome instructor.  
  
Sighing, the brunette walked across the hallway and back down the steps without breaking a single sweat. There was so much in her life, now that she thought about it, she took for granted. As Riley would say, 'there's nothing more useless than wasted talent.'   
  
"Teef! I didn't expect you to move the turntable, Tobias could have done that," Sammie proclaimed incredulously as she stood next to a large man, who stood at incredible heights. He had small, round intimidating eyes and a build which would have made Arnold Schwarzenegger look like poindexter. Even though Tobias had a hard face with hardly any emotions, there was a soft side which she could tell, almost nobody got to know.  
  
"It's fine, it's not like I broke a body part doing it."  
  
"Yeah, and we wouldn't want that! We need those magic hands of yours along with any every other body part you have to offer," Sammie explained, while motioning Tobias to go retrieve the other items in the basement. Watching the bouncer leave, she replaced her violet eyes back on Tifa, "You ready for this? Any pre-rituals you have to accomplish for comfort? You know like yoga or somethin'?"  
  
"Oh yes, yoga, because you know, nothing says comfort like dislocating your leg to fit it behind your neck," Tifa replied, rolling her eyes at her friend's clueless comments. Noticing Sammie wasn't laughing, but instead, chewing her nails nervously, Tifa moved forward and placed her hands on her anxious friend's shoulders, "I'm ready to do this! Just relax, take a deep breath, and say to yourself, tonight will go according to plan!"  
  
"I don't know what I'll do if this ends up blowing up in my face. I can't afford this blowing up in my face! My daughter is counting on this," Sammie hysterically cried, throwing her hand away from her mouth in mockery as she used her other hand to run through her neatly combed mane.  
  
"Sammie, everything's gonna be fine! Tonight will go great, Gisele will get that operation, and you two will live happily ever after!"  
  
"How do you know that for sure?"  
  
Gathering a tearing up Sammie in her arms for a friendly embrace, Tifa stated determinedly, "Because I won't let it end up any other way."  
  
@--^-------^---------------------  
  
The music was loud, the mansion was packed with rowdy adults, and there was not one unhappy face located in the room. The Rave was going according to plan and Sammie stayed in the corner, conversing with party goers, enjoying a drink while trying to allow the smile which was clear marked on her face from being so obvious.  
  
Tifa Lockheart stood on the platform, mixing the records on the turntable while holding onto a large set headphones to one of her ears. Moving her body to the music she provided, her free hand moved up towards the sky as the other continued to hold onto the headphones. The Rave was turning out to be a complete success, and Tifa couldn't be happier.  
  
Cloud Strife entered the mansion after his encounter with the bouncer. Looking around swiftly, he noticed the lively DJ, who gave these people a reason to dance, up ahead. Tifa. Everything about her was beautiful. The way she moved her body, the way she smiled for all the world to see. That was true beauty, no matter what anybody else said. It was as if it was in her genes to give people an unfound appreciation for happiness. Moving closer to the DJ post, it wasn't even 5 minutes of enjoyment before he was pulled back by a tremendous force.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here," Riley screamed loudly, eyes filled up an uncontrollable anger as he remained holding onto Cloud's white shirt.  
  
"The last time I checked it was a public event, meaning anyone, such as myself, could attend," Cloud fired back, pushing away the hand which held him in place while exchanging a heated look with the husband of the woman he loved.  
  
"That's bullshit and you know it! You're here to see, Tifa, well guess what, she's not interested in you so why don't you just step off!"  
  
"Well, you don't look like Tifa. You don't sound like Tifa. You don't act like Tifa. And you don't think like Tifa, which obviously means, you aren't Tifa. So, I think you don't have a given right to make her decisions for her!"  
  
Grabbing onto Cloud again, he felt his hand being smacked off more roughly once again as the two men continued to stare at each other with a fire that had the heat to burn the strongest metal. It was a showdown to the finish, and nobody who surrounded the two men seemed to even care.  
  
Tifa stood up on the platform, scratching the record underneath her fingertips while being completely oblivious to the fact that the two men she loved were about to rip each other's internal organs out. The only thing she saw was the inhabitants of the party, jumping around and having the time of their lives.  
  
"You better leave my wife alone or else," Riley growled as his lip quivered with unexplainable anger and his fist shook with a mind of it's own. It took a lot to make this man angry and when you did, you had better hide underneath a rock and never reemerge. When he got mad, it was unhealthy.  
  
"Or else what? You'll sit here dancing the tango around the situation while slowly, but surely, I'm getting next to your wife right behind your back and in your own bed," Cloud began while offering his sarcastic lopsided grin trademark, "Trust me, man, you'll never see it coming. First, she'll be giving you butterfly kisses and a homemade breakfast, the next thing you know, you'll be seeing a note on the fridge, giving her condolences for a life she made you waste."  
  
A thousand nerves inside Riley's brain exploded in rage as he screwed being verbal and swung his fist where it squarely hit Cloud in the jaw. Screams erupted around the two battling men as Riley tackled the now alert blonde on the hardwood floor roughly. He wasn't a violent man, and avoiding fights at all cost. But releasing his frustration through physical content never felt sweeter.  
  
Before they knew it, a huge circle was formed around them and they became the night's main event. Some people jeered the men as other encouraged them to kill each other with the occasional, 'kick his ass!' or 'you gonna take that from a punk?!' Those words of encouragement only caused the men to continue their violence even further, escalating to the next level of abuse by face shots and the occasional choking.  
  
"Hey, what the hell's going on here," Sammie screamed as Tifa jumped off the platform as well and shoved the rude people out of her way. The night was taking a turn for the worse and both females knew that.  
  
"Cloud?! Riley?!"  
  
The two men continued grabbing hold of each other and placing in their last punches before Tobias came into the picture and literally pulled both men off the floor, feet dangling desperately to make contact. The people moaned in disappointment as Sammie exclaimed to the people, "Fight's over! Either get back to your partying or get the hell outta here and find somewhere else to get your cheap thrills!"  
  
"I wanna talk to the both of you, NOW," Tifa hissed while pointing an accusing finger to the both of them, marching her way towards the exit of the mansion and awaiting both men to follow her out.  
  
Tobias let go of Riley and Cloud's collars, allowing them both to follow the woman of their affection outside. It took everything in Cloud's being not to take out his Ultimate Weapon and slice this guy up into the tiniest of pieces to feed him to the wildlife. Not only would he be getting rid of the obstacle in his way, but he would also be giving back to mother nature's creatures. A two for one deal never sounded so sweet.  
  
Riley glared at Cloud out of the corner of his eye, a scowl visible on his lips. He hated him with his being and never was there a moment where that powerful emotion of dislike ever crossed his heart. He would give anything to rip out every internal organ and sell it on the black market for a hefty profit. Then finally, would he and his wife live in peace for the rest of their natural life.  
  
Tifa stood watching both men approach her. This was all her fault, and she didn't have a right to be angry from her doing. But she couldn't help it, anger was the only thing she could feel at this moment. Not regret. Not sorrow. Not apathy. Just plain anger towards Cloud and Riley for almost completely ruining the only chance to save a small, innocent girl's life. If the rave had been destroyed and money refunded so Gisele couldn't have that operation, she didn't know what she would do. Most likely something that would have placed her in the confines of the state penitentiary for life.  
  
"Tifa, listen I can explain..."  
  
"Shut up, the both of you! I wanna get this out in the open before my anger subsides in the least bit," Tifa shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the both of them, "I understand that I caused this and that I have no right to be angry, but Jesus, couldn't you have saved your anger for a town show in Kalm or something! This rave was put on the give Sammie's daughter, Gisele, an operation. An operation which would actually allow her to make it to her teen years! This function, and that little girl's chance, was almost destroyed because of the fact you let your jealousy and testosterone get the best of your judgment! I never thought I'd say this but I'm so disappointed in the both of you, I thought you both possessed more maturity than that."  
  
"Tifa, I'm sorry that I let my anger get the best of me but he was sitting there completely mocking the situation we were in and I couldn't help but loose my temper," Riley proclaimed honestly, looking straight into Tifa's eyes.  
  
"I wasn't mocking the situation, Teef. If anything, I've only got two words of helpful advice   
for your husband : Anger Management."  
  
"You little bastard, I'll show you anger management!"  
  
Cloud quirked an eyebrow at his nemesis' approach and outstretched his arm for Tifa to see, "See what I mean. But then again, the way his neves handle temper tantrums, I would add Riddilin to the 'very' long list of desperately needed medications."  
  
"Stop it! The both of you! Listen, I have a 'job' I need to get back to before the crowd gets any uglier than it already has! I want you both to leave. Go home, separately! Then in the morning we'll all get together and talk about this. Please, if any of you cared enough about me, let me finish my work so I could help a child who doesn't deserve to die."  
  
The two men did have their differences, but both nodded in agreement to help the ailing Tifa Lockheart. Riley first stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his wife and stated softly in her ear, "I'm sorry for almost ruining the function. I had no idea, but if it honestly makes you feel better, I'll leave you to it and we'll talk about this in the morning."  
  
"Thank you. Thank you so much for understanding," Tifa proclaimed while backing away from Riley's embrace, "the both of you. I'll see you both in the morning, and please, avoid the occasional desires to murder each other on the walk home."  
  
"Fine, but I can't promise my murderous schizophrenia won't kick in," Cloud stated while averting his eyes back to Riley, "it could make do some crazy and unpredictable things. How do you think I killed Sephiroth?" After making a fake, held back attempt to charge and attack the man ahead of him, he laughed at seeing Riley give a small yet startled jump.  
  
"Cloud!" Tifa exclaimed, grabbing the amused blonde by the arm to break him away from threatening her uneasy husband.  
  
"What? I'm just trying to lighten the mood. It's not my fault he takes things to literally," Cloud stated while allowing himself to be pulled away from Riley swiftly. It wasn't his fault Riley was too on edge to actually take an attempted joke.  
  
"Yeah, and lightening the mood just so happens to include attempted murder threats?"  
  
"Well, if you say it that way....."  
  
"Cloud, please. Attempt to get along with Riley at least on the way home...do it for me. You said you would do anything for me, well I'm asking you to be civil. Nothing out of the ordinary," Tifa begged, looking into Cloud's sapphire eyes. It was working because the sarcastic ice front was quickly melting away.  
  
"Alright, Tifa. Only for you though."  
  
"Thank you." Giving Cloud a friendly kiss on the cheek, she noticed Riley fuming on the sidelines automatically regretting her actions, "You two better get going, it's getting late and both of you are unarmed."  
  
"Goodnight, Tifa," Riley said softly, moving forward and whisping his lips on hers. It had an advantage being her husband, and he wasn't abusing that privilege, just using that advantage to it's fullest potential.  
  
"Goodnight, you two. I'll see you in the morning," Tifa stated, backing away from both men and jogging back into the mansion with a new found sense of security. It was relief to know they both cared enough about her not to inflict any more bodily damage on each other. It gave her hope to believe that maybe things would work out for the better.  
  
"You have some nerve making me look like a fool in front of, Tifa," Riley automatically began once he saw the brunette soundly inside the building. Stepping up he noticed Cloud paying no necessary mind to his advances.  
  
"We both know you don't need any outside assistance to make yourself look like a fool. You have a rare gift to do that all on your own," the blonde snapped, crossing his arms over his chest while not stepping down from the war Riley was waging on him.  
  
"You think your so smart don't you? Well, guess what, women do have a tendency to go after the smart-assed rebels, but men like you, you're just a fad. They go for you when they want some fun and then leave. But then again, that's the story of your life isn't it? Walking out and leaving should be very familiar to you."  
  
Extending out his arms, Cloud held a tight grip on Riley's collar and slammed him up against the gate which separated the Corneo mansion from the outside world. There was a long beat, with menacing eyes staring back at each other, until Cloud finally spoke up seconds later.  
  
"I've been really patient with you lately, but obviously, you just got on my last nerve! I don't need people like you narrating 'the story of my life' when you couldn't have ONE FUCKING CLUE ABOUT IT! Step up to me when you did your homework, but until then," Cloud firmly elucidated while tossing Tifa's husband onto the floor harshly, "find someone else to smack you around."  
  
Riley stared up at the retreating cigarette smoking blonde from the ground in complete fury. Nobody treated him like that, and Cloud Strife would pay for laying his hands on his property. As he still had vision of his aggressor, the fallen man screamed out, "I'll get you for this and for touching my wife, Strife! I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!" 


	17. Contemplating

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 17 : Contemplating  
  
  
There's always something   
in the way  
There's always something  
getting through  
but it's not me  
it's you  
  
  
RILEY : I wanted to kill him so bad. When I first heard about Tifa's infidelity to that asshole, Cloud Strife, I wanted to kill him in the most painful way possible. But I couldn't. I wanted to, but I just couldn't.  
  
Tifa Lockheart. That girl means everything to me, how could she not feel the same? I gave her everything I could to make her happy, yet she doesn't feel the same for me. I know it, she's just scared to go out on her own. She's afraid of being alone. But doesn't she know I'm afraid of being without her? Just the mere thought of Tifa walking out of my life makes me so nervous and frightened, I almost break down and cry. Yeah, I'm admitting it, I actually cried for this woman and if she wanted, I would do so much more for her, including taking my own life.  
  
I know people, including Veronica, would say : You'd be so much better off without her or You could find better. But how am I better off without my heart? How can I find better than a woman who makes my heart pound so roughly sometimes I fear my heart would jump right out of my chest? Impossible because that special woman, I've already found. I can't just loose her. I won't loose her. I will fight to the end even if that fight ends up killing me. It's a small price to pay because either way, I'll die. If she walks out and leaves me to mourn my loss, you might as well pierce my heart with any sharp object possible. I wouldn't feel anything anyway. My heart would already be ripped out and pounding rhythmically on the floor right next to my self-respect and dignity.  
  
This is my life, I don't expect anyone to understand my position. All I want is recognition and respect for this pain I'm enduring. Only when you're about to loose your significant other to some punk, will you finally understand who I am.  
  
  
Sometimes ignorance  
rings true  
But hope is not in   
what i know  
not in me  
it's in you  
  
  
TIFA : I'm sitting her, underneath the stars, wondering where my life took it's toll on me. Was it when Cloud left? No, my life was already difficult enough even before the blue eyed boy I had grown to love so much left a second time. It didn't break my heart that he just left without a single word. It broke my heart that he didn't trust me enough to confide what he was feeling in his heart. That he was confused and needed help. But then again, he was always stubborn and proud in that sense. Even if he did trust me, I doubt he would be the first to come to me for help.  
  
After Cloud left, I thought my life was falling apart. I thought there was no more new beginnings for me, but I couldn't be more wrong. Riley saved my life. He taught me things that I never even considered believing in. He gave me hope to look forward to another day. That my life wasn't over unless I believed that it was. If I believed that there was nothing further to live for. He taught me that just because there's the bumps in our lifespan, it doesn't mean our life should necessarily end at that moment. As long as we have faith, we have something to live for.  
  
We married and I thought my faith had finally pulled me out of the hard times. Of those bumps. But even though I was very happy, I couldn't help but think about the other man in my life, the man I had never stopped loving. I began wondering if he was still alive. If there was hope in ever seeing him again. So I made a wish upon a star and I wished that he would come back to me. I thought that was my closure. I thought there was no possibility of him ever returning and knowing that deep inside my heart, I received my closure. I thought life was suddenly going back on track, but then, my wish caused my hard work to blow up in my face.  
  
He came back. Cloud Strife came back into my life and he brought these feelings that he claimed to have had for quite some time. I was weak, I should've been stronger. But my will was gone as was my common sense and so there, began my infidelity. There began the biggest avalanche of my world and what scared me the most was that with the avalanche, my world would collapse.  
  
You see, I'm torn between two men who changed my life for the better. If I was torn between a bad lover and a good lover, my decision would be so much simpler. But they were both beautiful in their own way. I had to decide, and quick, before things got too out of hand for even me to control.  
  
  
It's all I know   
  
I find peace when  
I'm confused   
I find hope when  
I'm let down   
not in me   
but in you   
  
  
CLOUD : I never told Tifa the absolute truth of why I came back to Kalm. I never told her why I finally wanted to profess my romantic interest in her. I never told anyone the truth of why I actually left. I know they're still angry and maybe I don't want to tell them the truth.  
Maybe I should have stayed away to save them some pain, but I knew that would be the wrong thing to do. I didn't want them to believe I wanted to abandon them. I wanted them to know the truth. But how to you tell someone the truth when you know the truth will be far more painful then them believing you abandoned them.  
  
Tifa. How can I tell you the truth? I should just let you be with Riley, I'm tormenting you enough as it is. I promised I would leave them alone but something inside me wouldn't let me, no matter how much I desired to just leave. I would tell her, but I didn't want my confession to make her feel obligated to stay with me. I wanted her to choose me because she loved me with all her heart. That she couldn't go on without me. I would tell her and then I'll just let the future progress as it was meant to.  
  
I don't regret my life. Everything that ever happened, happened for a reason. I may have experienced more strife in my twenty-three years of living then a normal human being would have experienced in a lifetime. But this was destiny intended and what I would except. Now matter how unfair it may be. I served my purpose, I cleaned out the closets of my past. It's about time I re-pace.  
  
  
I hope to lose myself  
for good  
I hope to find it  
in the end  
not in me  
in you  
in you  
in you  
  
- Switchfoot : You  
  
AN : So what's this secret Cloud's hiding? Will it actually change Tifa's mind in who she chooses? I am so sorry for waiting so long to post another chapter and when I actually do post a chapter it's short. I promise I will post another chapter by either tonight or tomorrow. I've been very busy preparing to another school year and I have two jobs to juggle along with a social life so I promise you guys, my faithful readers, I will post another chapter. BUT! You guys have to review. I need your opinion and you know nothing matters more than what you guys think. So go ahead and review. I'd like to thank all you again for spending your time and reviewing my work. The story's coming to an end and I hope you enjoy the rest. Bye :o) 


	18. Chasing Dreams

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 18 : Chasing Dreams  
  
That I'm learning to breathe  
I'm learning to crawl  
I'm finding that you and you alone   
can break my fall   
I'm living again   
awake and alive  
I'm dying to breathe  
in these abundant skies  
  
Switchfoot : Learning to Breathe  
  
  
Ruby eyes fluttered open slowly to gain a vision of sunlight pouring through the small bedroom. Unfortunately, it was morning already, and Tifa couldn't be more angrier. It seemed like just moments ago that she had laid her head down on the soft pillow and fell into a deep slumber. Now sunlight was burning it's way into the sky. How was that possible?  
  
Groaning softly, the brunette turned over to receive the vision of an empty bedside. Riley must have already gone to work. Boy was he a quiet one for Tifa didn't even hear the shower turn on or him walking around to prepare his belongings. In a way, she was quite envious of her alert husband. The couple went to sleep about the same time and here she was, still in bed and reluctant to get ready for work while Riley, God bless his tenacious soul, was already making his way to the office as we speak.  
  
Murmuring slight obscenities under her breath, Tifa pushed back the covers in a kicking motion and brought her still slumbering body into a sitting position. Her body was extra heavy since she was still very tired and her eyes were also unadjusted. It was going to be a very long day at the bar, Tifa could just feel it and it made her even more hesitant to arise for another day. Actually, the day was so beautiful today that it made the young woman sad that she had to waste it in work. Not only in work but in a slightly dark bar with drunks trying to grab at her and throwing up all over the floor.......a mess she would have to clean up.  
  
Moaning bitterly once again, Tifa fell back into bed and pulled the covers over her head in defense against the outside world. Life wasn't fair and each and every day was surprisingly proving that theory correctly.  
  
@----^------^-----------------  
  
The weather in Kalm was beautiful. Not too hot and not too cold, just temperate. This part of town had been receiving this type of weather ever since meteor was destroyed. It was almost like mother nature's reward to mankind for saving her precious existence. That was fine because many people were happy of this new revolution and didn't want to jinx any possibilities.  
  
After struggling with much desired temptations, which had much to do with forgetting about the bar and the drunks within it's walls, Tifa exited her Vila quickly. Debating had caused her to be very late, and she couldn't help but take a quick jog over to the bar. Even though she would probably be doing the family of the drunks who came to her bar a favor, Tifa had an obligation to be at work at a specific time schedule.   
  
Rushing across the land strip, she dodged small children, waved to the elderly retired men and women, and finally, with much anticipation, Tifa finally reached the bar while also gaining a friendly hello from a familiar man on the steps.  
  
"Cloud, what are you doing here?"  
  
Giving his love a friendly smile, Cloud stood up and while doing so, lifted his low slung jeans up. He was dress more casually then usual with jeans, hiking boots, and a T-shirt. It didn't matter what the blonde wore, he still looked very handsome. But something Tifa couldn't help ignore was the weight he had lost when he had been away. It wasn't sickly but almost as though he had hardly eaten in those two years.  
  
"What no hello? I should be insulted but can't help but feel intrigued instead," Cloud offered, smile still placed on his face as he looked on into the eyes he loved more than anything. Whenever he looked down at his childhood friend, he couldn't help but smile. It was almost pure instinct and no matter how much of his soul was bore with that one smile, it still felt good.  
  
"OK. Hello, Cloud. What are you doing here," Tifa rephrased, crossing her arms across her chest while the same smile, her opposing visitor was producing, appeared miraculously on her face.  
  
"Well, I was wondering if you were doing anything after work? And if you weren't, that you would be able to meet me somewhere. I hardly spent any time with you since I came back into town."  
  
Tifa hesitated. She wanted to say yes so badly, it took all the restraint in her not to scream out the three letter word. But she knew better. Riley would be very upset and she didn't want that. Even though the man in front of her was who she had loved for years, the petite woman couldn't help but feel guilty if she had agreed to the tryst being offered.  
  
"Cloud, I'm sorry but I don't think that's such a good idea."  
  
Cloud looked disheartened for a moment but that phase completely passed and wouldn't stop him from his pursuit, "C'mon, Tifa. You may be married to the guy but he isn't your parol officer. You know, contrary to belief, you are allowed to have a life outside of his acknowledgment."  
  
"A life of infidelity you mean," the ruby eyed beauty explained, turning around to open the bar with the large ring of keys in her hand, "Cloud, I promised I would be faithful to him from now on and if you loved me you would understand that my marriage is very important. I don't want to spoil anything between us."  
  
Cloud watched his target enter the now open premises, determination still locked on his features. He wasn't a quitter and was too proud to admit he had let go of the one thing he wanted. So instead of retreating and cursing her name for rejecting him, Cloud entered the bar and explained firmly, "So you're just going to blow me off, just like that. Tifa, it's just a meeting between old childhood friends. What's so shady about that?"  
  
She hesitated for the second time and eyed him suspiciously, "So this is just a meeting between old friends. Nothing more, right?"  
  
"That's right," Cloud proclaimed incredulously, raising an eyebrow as skeptically as his words were offered.  
  
"OK then if it's nothing more, tell me right now that you feel nothing for me and that you don't love me romantically, just as a friend," Tifa fired back challengingly, still not believing Cloud words of agreement. You couldn't just profess your love one moment and take it back the next. Even though it was what she wanted to hear externally, internally she didn't want him to take back what he had given her.  
  
"Can't say that, Tifa, because even though I'm getting over not being with you, I can't just take back what I feel. It's unconventional and I won't do it."  
  
She stood back and took in what he said, nodding in agreement, "Fine, I understand your predicament and I'll accept that. But any UN-cared for antics and I'm out of there. Where and when do you want to meet?"  
  
"The field near the chocobo farm at 11. I'll be there before you, so you won't have to wait by yourself," Cloud explained, crossing his arms across his chest as well.  
  
"You know even if I did have to wait, I could take care of myself. I'm a big girl, Cloud," she protested stubbornly, her eyes holding a playful glee to them which said she was excited. It may have been evident that Tifa was trying to play it cool, but deep inside, it was the best thing to happen for quite some time.  
  
"I know you are....sometimes, I just wanna watch out for you, that's all," he began, unfolding his arms, "so I'll see you tonight at 11?  
  
"You bet."  
  
The bartender watched her blonde companion leave with a certain glow to emitting from him. Smiling slightly, Tifa couldn't help but allow that certain facial expression to remain locked on her face. Now it was completely obvious, today would go by so slow, it would kill her patience eventually. The desire of closing the bar became so dire, it took all the will power within her not to run out, close the bar, and do a little dance back to her house. But she stood there, looking at the door, where her heart's yearning stood before, and allowed that certain glow, experienced just moments ago, to fill her bar with perpetual light. The bar never looked so illuminated in all it's years of being open to the public audience.  
  
@----^-----^--------------  
  
10:30.  
  
It was finally time to close the bar, and she couldn't be happier about this realization. Business had been slow but that was fine, Tifa's concentration was elsewhere anyway. Plus the initial fact that she didn't want to ruin her good spirits because of some UN-haut drunk.  
Actually, to be truthful, even if that did occur, it was most likely impossible to knock the bartender off the cloud she was on.  
  
Closing the door tightly, the excited bartender locked the door with one quick swipe. Even though they had seen each other running around in diapers, Tifa couldn't help but feel nervous in the mixture of excitement. The emotions were making her stomach turn and that, honestly, wasn't the finest feeling in the world.  
  
Walking quickly across the deserted town, Tifa could feel eyes burning through her. Those eyes could only belong to one person who wasn't exactly on her friends-to-be list. She knew Veronica would never forgive her for the transgression which was committed, but it didn't even matter right now. Right now, all that mattered was her rendezvous with Cloud. It was all she had been thinking about all day and now that it was going to happen, she wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in the way.  
  
Tifa began to pick up pace and run. It was a bit chilly so she wanted to stop home and grab a light coat. It's better to be safe then sorry and who knows how long they were going to be out in the fields. The later it got, the lower the temperature decreased. She had knowledge of this and decided to take advantage of it.  
  
She rushed into the Vila and prayed that Riley wasn't home. It's not that she didn't want to see her husband, it's just she didn't want to go through the interrogation it brought along with seeing him. Tifa couldn't lie to him, it literally impossible. If she would tell him one little fib, he would look into her eyes and gain that disappointed look, shaking his head and reprimanding her for even considering lying to cover up the truth. He believed the well known phrase of, "the truth will set you free." He lived and breathed that philosophy which sometimes made Tifa wonder if he was actually some kind of apostle or holy individual reincarnated into her husband's body.  
  
Shuffling about, Tifa skipped stair by stair and entered her bedroom. Riley wasn't home and she couldn't help but stifle a guilty sigh of relief. It was happening again, the meetings with Cloud behind her husband's back and she couldn't help but feel a knife, which would eventually stab him in the back again, slice her heart to pieces. But no matter how much pain she bringing into the picture, Tifa couldn't help the emotions she felt at this moment. Joy. Excitement. Even...Love.  
  
She shook her head to snap out of the devious thoughts. The faster she excited the household, the better it would be for her conscience. At least she would be able to look at herself in the mirror without that sinking feeling of regret and guilt. But what would happen when she came back from their meeting tonight? Would she even be able to look Riley in the eye and profess her undying love for him? So many things could happen, the possibilities were absolutely endless. But the real question at hand was, would she be able to stop whatever would come her way?  
  
She almost torn her coat from the closet and put in on her thin upper-body frame almost tempted to exit from the fire escape. It would save her from a possible encounter with Riley. But then, what would people say if they saw the woman of the house climbing out the window. It would not only be a scandal but would place aside Mrs. DeLory's affair with the mailman. It was a perfect gossip issue because they didn't know the full story and the people of Kalm could just fill in the blanks with outrageous accusations. So with common sense, Tifa decided to take the risk and use the door to exit.  
  
Practically flying down the stairwell, Tifa jogged through the livingroom and towards the door until her prayers were quickly backfired. Before she was home free, she collided with a muscular body, which could only belong to one person she had known intimately well, "Riley!"  
  
"Hey, Teef. Going somewhere? It's pretty late," Riley asked, eyebrow quirking in suspicion as he held onto his briefcase tightly so it wouldn't fall to the floor.   
  
"Yeah, I was just thinking of going outside Kalm, look at the stars," Tifa replied quickly, breathing heavily in fear of being caught. She was a terrible liar and everyone who encountered her knew this fact very well.  
  
"Want me to come with..."  
  
"NO," Tifa shouted, quickly shaking her head and immediately mentally slapping her UN-passive nature, "I mean, you should get some sleep. It's very late and I know you didn't get much sleep since you're always up before me and we went to sleep at the same time last night. Plus, I just need some time by myself, to think about our situation....you know?"  
  
Tifa looked at the clock nervously. 10:50. It would take her about 15 minutes to get to the chocobo farm and she didn't want Cloud to think she ditched him purposely. So thinking of something quickly, Tifa smiled flirtatiously, immediately feeling the guilt resurface times ten, "Plus, looking up at the stars makes me think of you. And the more I think of you, the more I want a little somethin-somethin to happen, if you get my drift."  
  
Leaning forward, Tifa placed her lips on Riley's and almost like the "Tell Tale Heart" heard her own beating heart driving her insane. Guilt worked in a very funny way. One moment you'd be completely happy, enjoying your existence. The other minute you'd be scolding yourself with this unbearable pain in your heart. It was almost like guilt made a person bipolar even though the disease didn't even exist within the individual.  
  
"Fine, go. But please be back soon, I'd miss you too much," Riley whispered in Tifa's ear seductively while unwrapping his arms around her tiny body. He watched her give him a small smile, felt her warm kiss on his cheek, and allowed her to leave to do her business. She wasn't going to go watch the stars, at least not alone. He couldn't help but think this and feel his heart breaking a little more than it was already. Life was very unfair and everyday seemed to be more like a challenge than a blessing.  
  
@----^------^--------------------  
  
Tifa ran until her legs burned. She didn't even know why she desired so much to see him so badly for she knew the more she saw of the ex-SOLDIER, the more she'd want to completely forget logic and turn away from her marriage. She was bringing this pain on herself and the sad thing was she knew this, yet she wasn't stopping it from happening.  
  
The chocobo farm became more and more clearer and the clearer it became, the wider her smile would increase. The air was so cool and the sky was so beautifully clear. It was the perfect time for stargazing and that, in her mind, was why Cloud summoned her to meet him. It didn't matter, though, she hadn't watched the stars in his company ever since that fateful night before the final battle with Sephiroth. It would be a refreshing reminder of what she had been missing out on when he left her and the rest of AVALANCHE behind.  
  
"Cloud, are you out here," Tifa exclaimed breathlessly as she reached the field finally. It couldn't be that late unless he meant to be severely punctual. But she knew better. Cloud Strife wouldn't know the meaning of punctual if it smacked him upside the head and gave him an obvious hint of it's definition.  
  
"Hey, you made it," Cloud said joyfully while getting up from his sitting position on the grassy surface, "I was starting to get worried that something happened to you."  
  
"What makes you think that something happened to me? I could have just stood you up," Tifa pointed out logically as she caught her breath from the brisk run she had taken to get here.  
  
"Well, firstly, you're out of breath, which means you were running, which is an obvious sign that you wanted to see me so badly you couldn't wait enough to just walk here," he deconstructed intellectually, "plus, the obvious fact that we both know you would never stand me up. It's not in yours or any other woman's nature to do so."  
  
"You're a cocky little bastard, you know that!"  
  
Moving forward, Cloud embraced the smaller woman, inhaling the scent emitting from her being. To his pleasure, she didn't back away but only placed her arms around him as well. It was wrong, they both knew this much, but they couldn't help but feel so good about it.  
  
Cloud held onto Tifa's hand and placed his other arms around her waist. Smiling, she caught onto what he wanted and both began to move in sync with each other's movements. Moving closer, Cloud placed his face near Tifa's neck, holding her almost as if he believed that if he let go, she would run away or disappear. The constant fear that this beautiful memory being created was just a dream made him hold on tighter.  
  
The stars in the crisp sky illuminated the surroundings around them almost miraculously as the swift wind blew the grass as well at the two lover's hair softly. Tifa couldn't feel better, it was almost as though she was being rewarded for all the years of suffering she endured. It was almost as if destiny sent Cloud to her because of the fact she had lost hope in happiness. He was her happiness, no matter whether she was happily married or not.  
  
There's a song   
that's inside my soul  
It's the one that   
I've tried to write over  
and over again  
  
Tifa smiled as she heard Cloud singing into her ear. He had always had a beautiful voice, even more so as an adult. She never told him but once, when they were children, Tifa had walked in on Cloud singing and playing his father's guitar. This was at the time when he had a crush on her and they weren't really friends. So she walked in and immediately he stopped, embarrassed, while asking in a small voice, "You didn't hear anything did you?" Tifa felt bad for him and immediately asked, "Heard what?"  
  
I'm awake   
in the infinite cold   
But you sing to me   
over and over again   
  
Cloud sung these words from the depths of his heart. She thought it was just a song he was serenading her with, but it wasn't just that. This song actually came from his heart. This song expressed the deepest feelings he held for Tifa. She didn't know it, but this song, in his mind, was specifically destined to be created for him to sing to her.  
  
So I lay my head back down   
And I lift my hands and I pray  
to be only yours  
I pray to be only yours  
I know now   
you're my only hope  
  
It was amazing what a song can do to you. In Tifa's case, it brought unshed tears to her crimson eyes. Life was beautiful and it honestly couldn't get any better than this.  
Somehow, the guilt she felt towards deceiving Riley seemed to have floated away, just like the problems of her past and present. She knew now who she wanted to be with. She knew now who she couldn't live without. She now knew, after much stress and debating, what she had to do.  
  
Sing to me the songs   
of the stars  
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing   
and laughing again  
  
As the blue eyed boy continued to serenade his love and dance with her in his arms, sadness came to his heart. He knew this moment would never repeat itself. He knew nothing could get better than this and somehow, he knew he had to tell her this simple fact of life. Cloud had to tell Tifa the truth even though it was against his wishes to do so.  
  
When I feel like   
my dreams are so far  
Sing to me of the plans   
that you have for me over again  
  
The two lovers, in their time of tryst, held onto each other tightly. They didn't want to let go. They didn't want to leave from underneath the protection of the stars. They wanted to stay like this as long as their lives progressed. Neither wanted to leave but knew sadly, when the sun rose into the night which had caused them so much bliss, it would all be over. Life would have to go on as it did before.  
  
So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands and   
I pray to be only yours  
I pray to be only yours  
I know now   
you're my only hope  
  
The angels seemed to dance in the sky as the stars shone brighter and brighter, almost as though they were lighting the way home for a lost traveler. The wind seemed to calm the heat being produced in a soothing fashion as the waves, which were crashing onto the shore of the beaches near the field, sounded through the sky. All three characteristics seemed to give the night a more magical significance. A significance which will never be forgotten.  
  
I give you my destiny  
I'm giving you all of me  
I want your symphony  
Singing in all that I am  
  
Cloud pulled back, lifted his arm, and spun Tifa slowly around. As she finished spinning, he pulled her gently back into his chest, her back now facing him as his arms wrapped around her protectively. Feeling her body in his arms almost made his knees knock in a desperate weakness. He loved this woman and no matter what happened in the near future, he would never stop feeling that emotion for her.  
  
At the top of my lungs   
I'm giving it back  
  
So I lay   
my head back down  
And I lift my hands   
and I pray to be only yours  
I pray to be only yours  
I pray to be only yours  
I know now   
you're my only hope  
  
"I love you," Cloud whispered in her ear when the song he sang so intensely stopped escaping his lips. Burying his face into the side of his neck, he smiled slightly and enjoyed the close proximity the both were in.  
  
She felt as though the wind was knocked right out of her. His voice was so amazing that Tifa couldn't help but allow a tear to slip from her eyes. He loved her and he revealed his heart to her. When a person sang, it was almost as though they were bearing all, including their soul to one specific person. Cloud revealed himself to her at that moment of perpetual beauty when the world seemed to stop rotating.  
  
"Cloud..."  
  
Turning around slowly while watching blue eyes stare curiously at her, Tifa leaned forward and placed her lips tenderly on his. The stars above glittered in happiness as the wind blew a little more roughly. The kiss was one of respectable proportions yet so filled with passion it could have set an ocean on fire. The pleasurable event lasted for some time before Cloud pulled back.  
  
"I'm sorry, that was a mistake wasn't it," Tifa asked with tears in her eyes. This time the emotions of rejection and joy were mixed together. The two emotions joined together was such a contradiction, it made the young woman reasonably confused.  
  
Grinning softly, Cloud cupped his lover's face with his shaky hands and whispered soothingly, "The kiss was amazing and no, I don't think it was a mistake."  
  
"Then what? I mean if it wasn't me then what's wrong?"  
  
The question was so simple, yet he didn't know how to answer it. For once in his entire existence, Cloud Strife was at a loss for words. The truth wanted to come out, yet it found such difficulty becoming visible. He saw the question and confusion in Tifa's eyes and it came to a point where he couldn't bear to see that anymore. He would rather have the truth revealed to all of the world instead of Tifa questioning his love for her.  
  
"Tifa, I didn't leave Kalm because I wanted to find myself," Cloud began, still keeping his hand on her face gently. It was happening. The secret he had been harboring for two years would finally be revealed. And ironically, it was going to be revealed to the woman he didn't want to ever find out.  
  
"What? Why did you leave then," she asked in a shaky voice, not liking the tone in Cloud's voice one bit.  
  
This was it. No backing out. No running away. It was time to face the truth. It was time to face the consequences, no matter how dire they may turn out to be.  
  
"Do you remember when I fell into the lifestream and received more Mako into my bloodstream," Cloud asked, eyes searching Tifa's for some sign of slight happiness, but sadly, found none. All he saw was fear and more confusion.  
  
"Yes, I remember. We were all so worried and we, especially I, was so relieved when we found you in Mideel. But what's all this about? I mean, that happened 3 years ago, what's the big deal?"  
  
"That's the thing, Tifa, it is a big deal because when I fell into the lifestream, my Mako level skyrocketed. Doctors were confused on how I didn't remain in that coma........."  
  
"Cloud please tell me what's going on, you're really starting to scare me," the nervous brunette proclaimed. She touched Cloud's face as well with such sincerity and gentleness, you would have thought Cloud to be a newborn baby.  
  
"...Tifa, my Mako level is inhumane. The poisoning is too intense and there's nothing to decrease it or make it better," he explained, feeling the hand on his face tremble even more, "I'm going to.....I'm dying, Tifa."  
  
Tifa hand dropped like it just received a thousand cylinder blocks in it's grasp. Pushing back from Cloud's loving touch, Tifa shook her head as tears of anguish immediately replaced any other emotions which were in her eyes before, "No...no, no, no! You're not going to die."  
  
Cloud tried to move forward, but Tifa pushed back further. Her heart tore apart as she shouted bitterly, "And when were you planning to tell me? How could you just leave us all when you were sick? How could you just do that to yourself and to all of us?!"  
  
"Tifa, please, I thought it was the best thing to do for all of you. I didn't want you to suffer but then I wanted to come back to Kalm and tell you all. I wanted to be with my 'family' when I did die. I didn't want to be alone....and then when I came back, I found out Yuffie had died and I didn't want to leave you all with another death, so I made up some bullshit about leaving because I wanted to find myself...because I was confused," Cloud explained feeling tears beginning to blur his vision as well. It hurt so badly to see Tifa broken like this that he almost wished he didn't tell her.  
  
"Bullshit! We would have been there for you, Cloud! We would have ALL been here for you," Tifa proclaimed through sobs. Her chest hurt so badly it was almost as though heaving wouldn't even bring it back it's normal condition, "and what about me? How do you think I feel?! I love you so much....how could you not tell me?"  
  
"Tifa, I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you the first moment I saw you again, but I just didn't have the heart to bring the news on you. I love you so much, and I knew you deserved the truth but you didn't deserve the pain that truth brought."  
  
The severe weight loss. The constant bags under his eyes and remotely tired look. The sudden cigarette smoking to calm his nerves. The lack of appetite. It all made perfect sense now and she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before. But it seemed so normal before. It could have been from lack of sleep or not eating properly. She would never have even imagined it was from oppressive Mako poisoning. He was going to die....Cloud was going to die and she couldn't do anything about it.  
  
Sobbing even more, Tifa tried to get more words out but couldn't. What more was there to say? I'm gonna miss you. I wish you were never poisoned. Those comments would extract the poisoning from his blood stream. There was nothing more to do, all she could do was sit back and watch silently as the Mako killed him slowly.  
  
Moving forward with more tears in her eyes, Tifa embraced Cloud and cried into his Shirt. She felt his arms circle around her shivering body and that was how they remained for most of the night. They were each other's source of illusive comfort. That's all it was, illusory. Neither would ever receive the comfort they truly needed to be healed. Cloud and Tifa cried together about the past they took advantage of. The present which would be the only time they would have. And the future, they would never experience together.  
  
AN : OK, the secret's out. I'm so sorry for making it so dramatic because I know you probably expected this to turn out happily ever after. I really wanted to make my story turn out like that but I had this all planned out a long time ago and when I changed the ending it seemed a little too....predictible. Something you always see. Again, I hope this doesn't change your opinion of my fanfiction cuz that'll just break my heart. So please review! Review! Review! I want to know what you think...and yes, if you do want to flame me, do so. But, you know, like everyone else, I would like the occasional compliment. Anyway, two or three more chapters and this story is finito! I want to thank ALL of you guys. My story reached 100 reviews, all encouraging {pats herself on the back} and I'm so happy I'm making you guys happy reading it. Enough of my babbling, enjoy the rest of the story! Oh yeah, the song Only Hope is from Switchfoot. {Do you notice a pattern here or can you just tell they're my favorite band?} :oD 


	19. Learning to Live

AN : Hey you guys. OK, I know you weren't really happy with the whole Cloud dying ordeal, ergo, i have a surprise...hehe, it's a good surprise but you'll just have to bear with me and also read on and find out. {trust me, you will not be disappointed} Enjoy ;o)  
  
  
  
The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 19 : Learning to Live  
  
Welcome to the planet  
Welcome to existence  
Everyone's here   
Everyone's here  
Everybody's watching you now   
Everybody waits for you now  
What happens next?   
What happens next?   
  
  
The morning air grew much cooler than the previous night, almost gaining a crisp sensation about it. Fortunately, the sun was rising over the horizon so some heat would be produced for the inhabitants who dwelled in the cities of the land. It was 6am and while the majority of mankind was still tucked in their beds, fast asleep, two individuals sat, watching the sun rise slowly into existence.  
  
The two lovers sat together, their eyes locked on the new day making itself known. Cloud was leaned back a little bit, with one hand supporting himself on the dewy grass and the other wrapped around the brunette, while Tifa sat between his spread legs, leaning back into his chest as her head was laid on his shoulder. They sat in silence and watched mother nature at work not even knowing what to say even if a desire of sudden conversation did make itself visible.  
  
Tifa's eyes were red and swollen from the amount of tears that were shed. She had never cried this much in her entire life. Not when her father had been killed. Not when Niblheim was burned down to a crisp by Sephiroth. Not when Yuffie had suddenly passed away. Not even when Cloud had left everyone behind. This was the first time that the tears had practically prevented her from breathing.  
  
"We should get back," Cloud whispered into Tifa's ear gently while keeping his arm around her small frame.  
  
"Just a little longer," she begged only to be satisfied with the blue eyed man holding her closer to him. She wanted to experience this as long as she could, it could be her last chance. Just that thought alone brought more tears to her eyes along with the pain in her chest which had become to be more than a nuisance.  
  
The sun rise was truly magnificent. The oranges and yellows simultaneously played an active role as they joined together to paint the sky different shades of gold. Just beholding the sight was enough to give a man down on his luck the greatest faith the world itself could never place back in him. It was honestly amazing what mother nature was responsible for.  
  
"That," Cloud pointed out while raising his finger up to point at the sky, "is exactly how I feel about you."  
  
Tears began to blur her vision as she moved closer to Cloud in comfort. He didn't deserve the destiny he was cursed with. She didn't deserve the momentous amount of pain she was experiencing as well. How could people talk about the world being so just and fair when the last man, who deserved nothing but bliss, was dying. How could people have such faith in a higher power with the huge mistake it was making right here on Earth?  
  
They sat like this for some time, not letting go of the moment so easily. It didn't matter what responsibilities or who was waiting back in Kalm. The money didn't matter neither did the people itself. All that mattered was their company and the breathtaking sun rise they were experiencing. This was their moment, they just wanted to experience it and keep it as long as they possibly could.  
  
  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift   
Yourself off of the floor  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened  
Before   
  
  
Cloud and Tifa entered Kalm as sudden rumors and whispers were heard behind their backs. Kalm was a very peaceful town, no doubt, but the inhabitants, especially the female population, were the most gossiping people you would ever encounter. But she didn't care anymore. It was a shame she wasted such precious time with Cloud living in constant fear of her reputation collapsing into shambles. She should've figured this out before but the foolish always do end up learning the hard way.  
  
Tifa reached for Cloud's hand in support and obviously, received it. This caused even more stir and controversy. Tifa was a great hit when it came to rumors, at least in the people's eyes. She was practically perfect and hardly made any slip-ups which could have constituted in scandal. Always careful but today was the day her reputation would finally cross the thin line between respectable and unacceptable. Finally, Tifa Lockheart, had slipped up.  
  
Both walked by the townspeople as though nobody was there even though screams of, "Slut" and "You don't deserve Riley, you whore," sounded through the town. None of it seemed to matter because her heart was already numb enough from last night's news. The words didn't even sink in and just seemed to bounce on and off of Tifa's ego, like rubber.  
Even though the words were as petty as they could get, she was still relieved when she felt Cloud's hand squeeze her's gently. He was her strength and she loved him even more for that small fact.  
  
"I need to do something," Tifa explained, stopping shortly and looking up at Cloud, "I'll meet you outside of Kalm in fifteen minutes."  
  
"OK...Tifa, just don't do anything you'll regret...I just don't want to see you ever looking back and wondering what if," Cloud replied, still grasping onto Tifa's hand securely.  
  
"If I 'don't' do this, I'll regret it. I wasted so much time already and I don't want to waste any more," Tifa murmured while leaning in and kissing him gently with so much admiration and affection, it could make a passerby nauseous.  
  
Leaving it at one last kiss, Cloud and Tifa parted and went their separate ways. She walked towards her Vila but not without the occasional jeer or stare. It was horrible how old-fashioned criticism was placed above love and the human heart. But that was the way it was and she just had to except it.   
  
"Tramp! You don't deserve him! You're a....."  
  
Tifa slammed the door once she entered the small household. She would not let petty criticism lead to a breakdown. She had to be strong for Cloud. She had to be strong for herself. This was the way it was intended and destiny would be followed out according to plan, no matter what tends to happen in the end.  
  
Walking through the kitchen and into the livingroom, Tifa spotted her husband on the couch, head in his hands dejectedly. It seemed like a case of deja-vu and she could help but give herself a slight pinch to see whether this was reality or just a dream. Somehow, she wished it was just a dream. Cloud was healthy. Riley and her were happily married. There was just so much that could result in reality yet no matter how much she pinched there was no escaping it. 'This' was reality.  
  
"You were with him last night weren't you?"  
  
It was the first comment out of Riley's mouth. He didn't look up to see who was behind him. He didn't even lift his face from his hands. All he did was ask a simple question, which could be alternately answered with a yes or no, yet Tifa was still trying to collect the wind which was just knocked out of her.  
  
"Yes."  
  
The truth shall set you free. What a bunch of bullshit was all that she could think. The truth, in most circumstances, will cause you nothing but pain. A fib was just the infant version of a lie and somehow it always made people feel better. Why was the truth misunderstood to be so wonderful? It actually does make you feel so much lighter, no worries added any longer, but then it also bring about so much trouble.  
  
Riley got up, an angry expression contorted on his face. Pointing an accusing finger he began to yell loudly, "You are not going to leave me! I won't allow it! I was there for you! Where was that prick when you needed him, off most likely getting laid not even thinking once about you...."  
  
"Shut up," Tifa screamed, placing a quivering hand over her mouth as tears made themselves known. Gaining her composure slowly yet surely, she stated, "You don't know anything about that. You have no right to criticize what you don't understand when you don't even know the whole story."  
  
"Yeah, a long story where you were in love with him! You were always in love with him, you just used me for comfort."  
  
"That's not true! I did love you..."  
  
"Did," Riley asked, his hands shaking as misery was added to the emotion on his face of anger, "did, meaning past tense?"  
  
Silence filled the room. Tifa couldn't answer him, she was too afraid of what she may see written on his face. That was another reason truth was somehow the last resort. Truth always brought about fear. Fear of an undesired reaction. Fear of inflicting more pain in the other person, who you are supposed to care immensely about. So they remained in silence for some time until it was suddenly broken by Riley angry shouts, "Answer me damnit! Did love me?!"  
  
"Yes, Riley, 'did!' I'm sorry, OK, I love you but yesterday....I felt something I never felt when I was with you," Tifa explained, realizing her words were a little harsh but honestly not caring at the moment. She just wanted to get it over with.  
  
"You are not going to leave me! You can't leave me, what about my feelings," Riley asked in anguish, "I was there for you! How could you ignore that?"  
  
Moving forward, Tifa wrapped her arms around Riley and whispered in his ear, "Good-bye. Thank you for everything you did for me...I'll never forget you."  
  
"No," Riley screamed as he grabbed onto Tifa's small shoulders and pushed her backwards and into the coffee table. She fell into the table and onto the floor with a small grunt of pain escaping from her mouth. Leaping around, Riley pinned her down on the floor and screamed again, "You will not leave me! You won't! You're MY wife! MY wife!"  
  
"Get off of me," Tifa screeched at the top of her lungs, unable to move from the pressure of her husband's body over her own. He was slowly killing her and she knew this. Tifa was already growing lightheaded from his body mass, "Get...off!"  
  
"You little bitch! I loved you and this is how you show appreciation! I'll show you appreciation, you whore," Riley breathed on her roughly. That was when she noticed the heavy bourbon on his breath. It was enough to cause anyone who got in his way to at least gag from the stench.  
  
Tifa reached around the floor for any objects she could use in defense against the drunken man above her and fortunately found it. It was part of the vase which hadn't broken when it fell to the ground. Holding a strong grip, Tifa swung and made direct contact. As she felt the excess weight making it's escape, she took a deep breath, trying to regain all the oxygen she happened to have lost during those few precious minutes.  
  
Riley had never attacked her before nor even joked about doing such. It scared her what violence and anger he had within him and what measures that anger would lead him to. So without looking down or checking if he was still alive, Tifa choked back some unprocessed tears and immediately ran out, not caring about the hate which she would momentarily witness.   
  
  
Welcome to the fallout  
Welcome to resistance  
The tension is here  
The tension is here  
Between who you are   
And who you could be  
  
  
Cloud sat outside of Kalm, smoking yet another cigarette. Blowing the smoke into the air, he seemed to reflect on his life. The life he would eventually leave behind. The life he always took advantage of. The life he had grown to appreciate and love a little too late. He cursed himself for not realizing how blessed he truly was. How life doesn't just stop turning because there are a few bumps in the road. But then again, Cloud had more bumps in the road of his life than the average human being.  
  
"Cloud!"  
  
Snapping out of his reverie, Cloud tossed the cigarette aside and saw Tifa running out of the once calm town in a hurry. She looked happy yet had some tears in her eyes. Those tears made him feel guilty for ruining a marriage she most likely cherished more than anything. But in most part, he was thrilled. He loved this woman and the pains he endured to have her seemed to have been nothing now that he looked back on it.  
  
Tifa ran into Cloud's waiting arms, feeling herself being lifted up and spun around. She had never felt so wonderful and free in such a long time. Being married to Riley had it's perks and she did love him, probably less now because of the attack, but when it came to the love she had for Cloud. There was no contest.  
  
"What are we going to do now," Cloud asked, holding Tifa upwards as she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed his cheek excitedly. When that specific question was asked, it caused Tifa to stop kissing him and wrap her arms around his neck. A spark seemed to ignite in her eyes as a smile played her lips devilishly.  
  
"Let's get out of here. Let's get out of Kalm," Tifa proclaimed, jumping down from Cloud's waist. She spun around and seemed to dance in the wind blowing around her, "For the first time in my life I have never felt more free."  
  
"I do wanna leave, Tifa, especially with you but don't you think it's a little extreme to just run off. What about Barrett? I mean, I ran off once and if he finds out you came with me, I think he'll literally rip off my head and serve it up for Thanksgiving dinner," Cloud explained, his arms crossed across his chest as a smile played his lips while watching his childhood friend dance around playfully.  
  
"If we need to contact Barrett, I have my PHS with me so we can just call me. C'mon, Cloud! Where's your sense of adventure?"  
  
"Obviously, right where you left your common sense."  
  
Tifa smiled at Cloud humor. He was so sarcastic at times....OK, most of the time...that sometimes she just wanted to give him one good left hook. But she really couldn't argue with that little factor of Cloud's personality because it was her quirk as well. That was what attracted each of them whenever there was a witty retort, there was a counterattack. There was so much about Cloud Strife Tifa couldn't help but adore and quietly appreciate.  
  
"Very funny, you should put comedian into your much anticipated career options," Tifa fired, stopping her dancing but keeping the smile on her face. She was meant to make it sound serious, but whenever you looked at his good nature, you couldn't help but smile. He just had that spark about him.  
  
"Funny you should mention, comedy just so happens to be one of my top three choices," Cloud responded back with such suave style, you could help but allow fascination to become a part of your many emotions.  
  
"C'mon, Cloud, I know deep inside you wanna leave Kalm just as badly as I do."  
  
She was right. Actually, any more accurate she would've gone right through the intended target. Cloud never enjoyed the town, he felt it didn't compliment his active nature. He did want to grab Tifa's hand and just run as far as he could but he had duty and responsibilities to attend to, he couldn't just pack up and leave. But as time seemed to drift by, two words came to the blonde's mind impulsively : screw responsibilities.  
  
Tifa giggled as Cloud ran forward and grabbed onto her hand. Both began to speed off, the small town of Kalm becoming more and more distant. Almost like a memory. They began to spin in the Chocobo fields, hands still grasping onto the other's. This was exactly what he wished for when he returned to Tifa. At least one thing in his life was going exceptionally good for him even though everything else was crashing down into shambles.  
  
Both began to run once again past the Chocobo stables, laughing feverishly in excitement. They felt like children with no cares in the world. Like they could do anything they please without any repercussions. It almost made Tifa forget the simple fact that Cloud was indeed close to his expiration date. Almost.  
  
  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift   
Yourself off of the floor  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened  
Before   
  
  
"Cloud?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Are you scared?"  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"...Death."  
  
Cloud looked up at the sky, filled with the extensive beauty of stars and it's brilliant lights. Tifa laid perpendicular to him, her head on his chest and her hands folded across her stomach. Both had made it an obligatory task to look up at the heavens every night, not taking anything more for granted. Life was too short to just fool around with and unfortunately, they had learned that a little too late in their existence.  
  
"I'm not scared of death.....I'm just scared of losing you, of not being with you," Cloud replied, not tearing his gaze away from the stars above their vision. Taking an arm from behind his head, the comfortable blonde pointed up to the stars so Tifa could see his position, "You see all that constellation above us?"  
  
"Yes," Tifa responded, not tearing her eyes from the sky in fear of Cloud's point being lost along with the sight of the rare constellation.  
  
"Well, I think that constellation, along with all the others, was created to serve human purpose. I believe when a constellation is formed, a destiny has been fulfilled and look....look at the constellation. That's my destiny, Tifa," he explained, a lopsided smile of satisfaction forming on his lips, "I believe you were sent to me because of the fact I had a special destiny to fulfill. I believe with all that had happened in our past and in our present, we were torn apart and united for the sole purpose of creating the constellation we're seeing right now. You made the constellation possible....you made it possible for me to accomplish what I was put here on Earth to do."  
  
Tears blurred the sight of the constellation above as the words hit her. Here he was, bearing his thoughts and praising her for his salvation when the fact of the matter was there was no salvation. Nobody could save him from the fate which was predestined. Not doctors. Not specialists. And especially, not her.  
  
"Sometimes I wonder....if destiny could be wrong," Tifa whispered, quickly wiping the freefalling tears from her eyes.  
  
"How so," he asked in return, a slight bit confused of Tifa doubt.  
  
"How could destiny condemn a man who did nothing but good in this world....a man who saved this world may I add? You know the more and more I live my life, the more and more I notice the phrase, why do bad things happen to good people, occur more and more in our daily lives....how can you sit here and praise destiny when it cursed you with the bitter destiny of dying young?"  
  
Both laid quietly for a moment. Cloud, with a contemplating look in his face as Tifa tried to battle tears of realization. She hated herself for being so weak at a moment when weakness shouldn't even be an option. She promised herself, ever since Yuffie died, she would never break down in this way again. She promised herself strength in exchange for misery.  
  
"Every man was created and put on this earth for a purpose. When that purpose has been served there's nothing more to live for. My purpose was already served....I was put here to be a hero and I fulfilled that obligation," Cloud began, motioning Tifa to sit up as they began to get up from the soft texture of the grass below them, "but even if we could write our own destinies, I wouldn't change mine. I wouldn't even reconsider it because by my actions, I gave people a second chance. I gave people, who never even believed in the word, hope. I was meant to save these people, Tifa, that was my gift. I don't believe, even for one-second, my life or my purpose was a waste. I don't and I refuse to."  
  
With tears in her eyes, Tifa leaned forward, placed her arms around him, and practically fell into Cloud's chest. This was the man destiny was taking from this world. Out of all people, him. How could this high power take salvation away from human kind? Cloud gave Tifa faith that miracles do happen for he was living and breathing proof of that revolution.  
  
"Thank you for giving me my direction," Cloud whispered into the wind as he held his love's frail body in his arms tightly, trying to give her the strength she needed, "thank you for giving me hope."  
  
  
Maybe redemption   
Has stories to tell  
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell  
Where can you run to escape from yourself?  
Where you gonna go?  
Where you gonna go?  
Salvation is here  
  
  
The morning came more quickly than imagined. As the sun rose into the vast blue sky, Cloud kissed the slumbering Tifa's cheek sweetly. He barely slept the previous night and instead was too busy contemplating life, destiny, and it's mysteries. Along with the intense thought process, Cloud went through about six cigarettes. In all actuality, if the Mako poisoning didn't kill him eventually, lung cancer would.  
  
"Morning already," Tifa asked, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand as a yawn made it's way out of her mouth. She was never an early riser, not even as a child.  
  
"Yeah, I hate to wake you up but we gotta get moving. If I know one thing my two years of solitude taught me, it's not to be traveling and stay in the same place too long. You always wanna keep moving, so c'mon, let's get moving," Cloud explained, picking a reluctant Tifa up. Even though the poison had made him weaker, he still had enough power within him to pick up the average objects and people.  
  
"It's OK, I can support myself," Tifa explained, not saying, but in fear that he was over-extenuating himself by just picking her up. She loved when Cloud carried her or held her. It gave her this new sound sense of protection. A protection, which not even Weapon and Sephiroth joined together, could break.  
  
Kissing her lips gently, Cloud allowed Tifa to step down and hug him once more before beginning to walk forward. But he didn't follow, something was terribly wrong and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. The room began to spin and the sounds which surrounded him were blurred. It became hard to tell which noises belonged to which object. Placing his hand over his forehead, Cloud felt his stomach churn and his body loose composure.  
  
Tifa was walking ahead but noticed Cloud wasn't following. Turning around suddenly, she saw the blonde man weakly mouth her name and collapsing on the grassy plain. He didn't move any further. No spasms. No ligaments moving. Just laid there, almost as though he were dead. That thought made fear course through the young woman's veins as she screamed loudly, "Cloud!"  
  
  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift   
Yourself off of the floor  
I dare you to move  
I dare you to move  
Like today never happened  
Today never happened  
Before 


	20. Saving Strife

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
Chapter 20 : Saving Strife  
  
  
I feel my wings have broken  
in your hands  
I feel the words unspoken   
inside  
when they pull you under  
and i would give you any thing you want  
you were all i wanted  
all my dreams are fallin' down  
crawlin round and round and round  
  
  
"Help me!"  
  
A scream sounded through the slums of Junon with the sight of Tifa carrying a frail looking man. Tears stung her eyes, but she fought the urge to rub her eyes roughly and just allowed the liquid to blur her vision. He was light and Tifa didn't have any problems carrying him. She didn't know if she should feel relieved from that realization or frightened beyond belief.  
  
"Please, this man needs help," Tifa shouted once more while completely stepping into Junon. People stared at her but none ran to them with open arms to take Cloud into their care. It made her feel sick at the lack of compassion which a human being could actually possess. Nobody moved, that was the bottom line and it made her angrier than words could describe, "Don't you people appreciate anything?! This man saved your lives, how could you just turn your back on him when he needs your help!"  
  
"Tifa? Is that you?"  
  
Tifa's watering eyes looked up and saw a pre-teenaged girl moving towards them. It couldn't be, could it? It looked like Pricilla, all grown up. She couldn't help but smile, at least one person in this town had a heart, "Pricilla?"  
  
"Oh god, what happened, is he OK," Pricilla asked, looking at Cloud's weak-looking body and noticing how incredibly pale he was. It made her heart break at seeing the man who saved her life so long ago in such a weak stage.  
  
"No, no he's not OK," Tifa explained, choking back tears and allowing them to fall down her cheeks, "he has Mako poisoning, you have to help him...he needs a place to stay and Kalm is too far away. Please, help us, Pricilla."  
  
Pricilla looked down at Cloud and then at Tifa's moist and stricken face. Ever since the Shinra movement and how they had fallen, Junon swore they would never trust another drifter again. They even had restrictions to travelers and it went down like this, whoever was a stranger, was not permitted into Junon. But Pricilla couldn't help but give them both a helping hand. This man had saved her as long as many others, he didn't deserve to be sent away when he needed help now.  
  
"Come with me, he can use my bed," the younger girl explained, making her way quickly, with Tifa close behind, up the stairs and to her room. People were staring and talking, it reminded Tifa of what she left back in Kalm. But that didn't matter right now, she had to do everything possible to stabilize Cloud again. His life was in her hands right now and she would be damned if she failed him now.  
  
  
Somebody save me  
Let your warm hands break right through me  
Somebody save me  
I don't care how you do it  
Just save me, save  
Come on  
I've been waiting for you  
  
  
Tifa placed him on the teenage girl's bed. He was now shivering and looking more pasty and pale than before. She ran a shaky hand through her hair and soon after, placed a blanket on his body to keep his body temperature up. Tifa knew some medical techniques but knew it wouldn't be enough. Cloud needed an actual doctor or they could loose him right here in this bed.  
  
"Pricilla, go get Cloud a soaked, warm cloth and if you could, some more blankets as well," Tifa shouted at the awaiting girl as she placed a hand over Cloud's chilled forehead, "we need to keep his temperature up, only then can we actually stabilize him!"  
  
Pricilla didn't ask any questions. She ran out the door to complete the mission she was sent out to do while Tifa knelt by Cloud's side and stroked his cold face softly. She never thought she would loose him this soon. She knew he would die eventually, but not like this or right here at this very moment. She thought he had more time. She thought she could tell him everything she felt in her heart before Cloud actually left this world as well as everyone else behind.  
  
"I've got both of the things you wanted," Pricilla exclaimed, barging through the door and interrupting Tifa's intense thoughts. She immediately took the helpful tools without starting any further conversation. She appreciated everything the young girl was doing, especially against the town's acceptance, but the more she stalled, the more jeopardy Cloud's life would be placed it.  
  
"Cloud, please, if you can hear me, show some kind of sign. Move your fingers. Move any body part or if you can, which would be even better, speak to me," Tifa proclaimed, placing the warm cloth over Cloud's forehead, moving it in all directions above the eyes, in attempt to warm his body temperature. If anything Tifa learned from her father, who studied medicine for some time after her mother sadly passed away, it was that heat was absorbed through the head and feet portion of your body.  
  
"Pricilla! Go throughout town and try and find a doctor. I'll stay here and continue to get Cloud to at least open his eyes," Tifa explained, not moving her eyes from her ailing lover. She knew the teenager obliged because she heard the door open and shut immediately. At least someone was on her side, that was all she could honestly ask for besides the obvious factor of Cloud's recovery. Placing two more blankets over his body, Tifa blocked the tears and continued to talk and care for him.  
  
"C'mon, Cloud. You have to wake up. I mean, you're such a firm believer in protecting destiny's good name....C'mon, Cloud, defend the destiny you honor and prove me wrong," Tifa whispered while stroking the sickly man's face with her warm hands, "give me a reason to believe destiny was meant to be good to this world.  
  
He didn't move, yet he didn't look like he was suffering during his comatose stage. That was a relief, at least. Tifa felt so desperate as she looked on Cloud's desperate form, he needed her and yet she could do nothing to save him. The Mako inside him was stronger than all the Earth's population combined. How was one woman going to go against those odds?  
  
"Cloud, I'm begging you to wake up. I'm begging you not to leave me...at least not yet. I have so much to tell you."  
  
Cloud continued to lay there, at times partially shivering from the lack of body heat. It broke Tifa's heart to see him in such a powerless condition so without any further ado, the stricken lover laid besides him and placed her arms protectively around Cloud Strife. She wasn't going to let go not just yet. Destiny could wait a while to take him away, but for now, Tifa would keep him for as long as possible.  
  
"I love you so much, I'm so sorry I didn't figure it out sooner. I didn't understand why you came back. I didn't understand why you wanted to be with me so badly. And when I finally did understand, the opportunity of a lifetime, I had just found out, was running short. Come back to me, Cloud. Give me the time I deserve."  
  
"Come back......."  
  
"Come back to me, Cloud....."  
  
  
I see the world has folded in your heart  
I feel the waves crash down inside  
and they pull me under  
And i would give you anything you want  
You were all i wanted  
All my dreams have fallen down  
Crawlin round and round and round  
  
  
Cloud and Tifa laid in bed together, Tifa trying her hardest to keep Cloud's temperature up. She knew just keeping him warm wouldn't save him from the fate which was bestowed upon him, but it was all she could do for now. At least until an actual trained doctor came into the picture. Maybe he or she could wake him up but then again, they could also say, 'Let him be. He's going to die sooner or later, just let him die peacefully.'  
Tifa wouldn't let them do that. She wouldn't give up hope until the final moment where everything mattered.  
  
"I know you want to wake up, Cloud. I can feel your determination and I believe in you. I always believed in you. I know how proud and determined you are and I know that when you put your mind to something, you usually accomplish it. So work your magic, Cloud, put your mind into getting better," Tifa whispered while propping herself on her elbows and looking at Cloud's helpless form. It brought more crystalline tears to the ruby of her eyes, "why you of all people? You didn't do anything, how could you just be punished like this? You're innocent and the last time I check, the innocent shouldn't suffer."  
  
Wiping her eyes quickly, Tifa ran her fingertips through Cloud's moistened hair with touching beauty, "Love is patient. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited...it is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense, and it is not selfish. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to endure whatever comes. That was what my mother taught me when I was younger, when I asked her the real meaning of love. That explanation never left me, Cloud. Hear my voice, can you hear it? Can you hear the hope in my heart? Listen to it and come back to me with it's direction."  
  
"Tifa, I found someone who might be able to help, Cloud! It's an old friend of my father's and luckily, with a lot of explaining, he offered his assistance in any way possible."  
  
Tifa turned around and immediately sat up on the bed. She met with a pair of blue-grey eyes. Eyes which, at the moment, contained nothing but pleasure for business. It was exactly what was needed at the moment and she couldn't help but feel grateful. He was a middle aged man with shaggy brown hair and thin silver glasses. He was very tall and lanky yet very handsome all at once.  
  
"My name is Dr. Sakori and I heard about the man you want me to help's case. Mako Poisoning, correct?"  
  
"Yes, it's an extreme case. He was overexposed and the Mako level was too extreme for a human body to contain. Just earlier this morning, he collapsed," Tifa explained, not tearing eye contact from the doctor.  
  
"I see. Listen you're going to have to give me some...."  
  
Dr. Sakori was cut short as Cloud's body started to jerk up and down abruptly on Pricilla's bed. The spasms were so drastic, it almost knocked Tifa off the edge of the bed. If it wasn't for the young woman jumping up, he might have done so.  
  
"What's going on?! Why is his body spazing like that," Tifa screamed as the doctor moved forward quickly, not even bothering to finish his previous statement.  
  
"He's convulsing! You both need to leave at once, I need space," Dr. Sakori shouted back as he kneeled by Cloud's side, checking his pulse and vital stasis, "Get out now, I can't afford anything going sour just because I had an audience!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"Go!"  
  
Pricilla grabbed onto Tifa arm and pulled her out while explaining, "Tifa! I know you want to stay by Cloud's side but if you don't leave and let Dr. Sakori do his job, you won't be able to stay by his side anymore! It'll already be too late and he'll be dead! Now c'mon, let's give the doctor room!"  
  
Tifa obliged reluctantly, being led out of the small room by the equally nervous preteen. It was amazing what strength children could present at times of a crisis. It honestly made you think what capability they actually possessed. Adults always seemed to break down at these terrible times, yet the youth of the world always seemed to be the rock for the situation at hand.  
  
She couldn't hold it any longer. No more being strong, all she could say is screw it. Tifa broke down in front of the townspeople of Junon and stooped down on the stairs which lead to Cloud's life and death situation. Crying, she felt Pricilla place a wavering hand on her shuddering shoulder. It was true, she didn't really know Tifa all that well, but Pricilla had a certain heart not many people were blessed with. She cared for everyone, no matter what their background may be.  
  
"I need to get out of here," Tifa exclaimed, pushing away from her comforting companion's side while jumping from the steps and running as fast as she could out of Junon's premises. In a way she felt guilty for seeming so rude to the only person who actually cared about saving a life, which by the way was worth saving. But this was a different circumstance. No matter how many times people said they understood, they didn't. Only when they lost everything in their past that had made them the person they are today and are close to loosing the other half of their existence, will they understand what it was like to be Tifa Lockheart.  
  
  
Somebody save me  
Let your warm hands break right through me  
Somebody save me  
I don't care how you do it  
Just save me, save  
Come on  
I've been waiting for you  
  
  
'Come back, Cloud. I need you here with me. I can't just be without you. I need you...can't you see I love you?'  
  
Tifa exited the run-down town of Junon, hands stuffed in the jeans of her pockets as a cold gust of wind blew past her. The weather seemed to have gotten colder, especially on this side of the continent. Kalm always seemed to be perfection at it's best, but now, right here, it was as if she just stepped out of Pleasentville and into reality. And that was exactly what reality. Cold.  
  
Shivering, the petite brunette felt two small, box-like objects in her pockets. Pulling them out of the warmth, Tifa looked down at a cigarette box and a lighter to compliment each other. Realization finally hit her once she looked down at it. When Tifa had picked Cloud up to bring him to safety, these two objects fell out of his pockets. So being the good Samaritan that she was, Tifa picked them up and stashed them away for future returning. Now, as she looked down the tempting substances, Tifa was wondering whether it was worth going back to her old nerve-breaking habits and revert back to smoking.  
  
It was worth it.  
  
Pulling out a slim stick from the package, Tifa placed it in her mouth and lit it with a shaky hand. The nicotine, which was dispatched throughout her bloodstream, made the news bearing of the current events so easy to bear. The cigarette was almost Ridlin to an overactive child and almost in a way, made Tifa sigh in relaxation. Yet, even with the anti-nerve medicine in her blood, fear and constant worry still flooded through her being. Life wasn't fair. Life didn't deserve the praise so many people gave it. Life made her angry. Life was a waste and she decided to say something about it.  
  
"Are you happy? You injured an innocent man, you condemned him to a fate he didn't deserve. I hope you're happy from the misery you gave us all," Tifa exclaimed, voice rising in every word as the emotion grew just as heavily. Flicking the cigarette with her pointer finger and holding it in place, the anger didn't stop, "I hope you're happy for designing and putting him on Earth specifically for suffering! How can you, the high power which is supposed to stand for all good, be sitting on your ass deciding fucked up destinies for innocent people! How can you put a good man like Cloud on Earth just for your twisted expectations? He was right, he was a puppet. He was puppet to the hypocritical, pretentious, uncompassionate fuckers of fate!"  
  
Inhaling in another breath of smoke, Tifa tossed the cigarette aside and blew out the excess smoke dejectedly, "Well, I'm tired of your higher power bullshit. I'm tired of living my life by 'your' supposed plan. Thank you for ruining the small iota of hope I had left within me. I hope your happy, but then again, you're just doing what you do best. Ruin lives."  
  
Shaking her head, she placed her head in her hands. She was so tired of crying, but it seemed like the only thing she could do right now. All her faith had been ripped out and soon, Tifa would have nothing left to keep her going. At least not reason enough breathe another breath this world, which she hated more than anything at the moment, had to offer it's inhabitants. Why was it wasting it's precious oxygen? It ends up killing everyone in the end, anyway.  
  
'Tifa, come back to me.'  
  
Tifa's head snapped up quickly as she looked around. Someone had just said her name and what the scary part of the whole ordeal was, it sounded like Cloud's voice. It was Cloud's voice, there was no doubt about that. But how could she hear his voice? Was she imagining it? Did she hope to hear Cloud's voice so badly that her conscience was just playing cruel tricks on her? She couldn't take that chance so without another thought being processed, Tifa began to run back into Junon but not without running into Pricilla and her excited expression.  
  
"Tifa, thank god I found you! Dr. Sakori stabilized Cloud, he's awake!"  
  
"Oh my god," Tifa murmured before running as fast as she could past Pricilla and into the compounds where Cloud was awaiting her arrival. Maybe destiny didn't hate it's victims so badly. Maybe destiny had a different plan for Cloud which had to do with miracles. Tifa highly doubted these options, but people could dream, couldn't they?  
  
  
All my dreams are on the ground  
Crawlin' round and round and round  
  
  
"Cloud," Tifa shouted while bursting into Pricilla's room with a rabid look on her face to compliment her anxious temporary persona.  
  
"Shh," Dr. Sakori chided, spinning around quickly when he noticed the commotion with a stern expression on his attractive features, "I have just brought your friend out of a serious convulsion and he needs his rest. To tell you the truth, after I saw the momentous amount of spasms he was producing, I didn't think his body would be about to withstand the vibrations.....he must have a strong will or else he wouldn't have been stabilized or even alive as we speak."  
  
The hopeful brunette nodded, suddenly beaming with pride for her fighting lover. He did what she had hoped him to do. To fight against what was pulling him away from this world. He had the will to fight this battle and she was so grateful to whatever was responsible for this new revelation.  
  
"Can I stay with him, just until he wakes up," Tifa asked hopefully, not tearing her eyes away from Cloud's slumbering form.  
  
Smiling softly for the first time since his appearance, the doctor nodded and explained, "Yes, I think it would be a very good idea to have a loved on stay with him. Just don't make too much noise, like I said before, Cloud needs his rest if he wants to maintain composure."  
  
"Thank you, doctor," she stated shortly, giving him a returned smile, before making her way to the blonde man's bedside with new aspirations. It was happening, things were finally going to look up and Tifa couldn't help but feel her heart begin to pound and her breaths becoming more synchronized once more.  
  
The door closed behind the retreating Dr. Sakori as Cloud and Tifa were left alone once again. Kneeling on the floor, the young woman smiled at Cloud while stroking his hair with such gentleness, it could have made a cold heart suddenly warm with undeniable delight. Keeping her ruby eyes focused on his serene face, Tifa whispered, "I knew you would come back to me. I knew you wouldn't give up, you're too proud. Your pride would never let you do something you didn't want to do. Even though I'm not quite fond of it, I love your pride right now."  
  
Smiling, Tifa laid her head on Cloud's stomach and felt his stomach rising and falling with every breath he took. To her, it was the most soothing sound and action anyone could do. It placed her mind at so much ease, she ended up falling asleep right there at that very moment.  
  
Meanwhile......  
  
Dr. Sakori exited the small bedroom in anguish. Taking his glasses from his hopeless face, he rubbed his eyes gently, yet rough enough to wash away any tiredness or tears that may have formed while he was caring for Cloud. He was so young, he couldn't help but think, why did such horrible things have to happen to such young people. Sometimes life could have such a cruel way of revealing it's lessons and sometimes, those lessons could be unforgiving.  
  
"Dr. Sakori!"  
  
The doctor watched his closest friend's daughter running towards him with a smile on her innocent features. God, he wished she wouldn't ask about Cloud's condition. He wasn't sure if he could break the news to such an emotionally fragile individual. But if she did indeed ask, he couldn't lie to her. Dr, Sakori could avoid the obvious, but he wouldn't lie to her.  
  
"Hello, Pricilla."  
  
"Hello. So, how is your patient doing? Good, I'm assuming since you brought him out of his coma. I'm so happy I called you and I'm so proud too! I can't imagine what I'd do if I never thought of you..."  
  
"Pricilla, stop. I...I don't deserve your praise," Dr. Sakori explained, running a shuddering hand through his full set of hair, eyes hiding more than they appeared.  
  
"Why not? I mean, Cloud's going to be OK, right? He's going to recover?"  
  
He looked down at her large blue eyes in complete turmoil. Pricilla was so innocent and so spiritual, how could he ravage something so beautiful? Shaking his head, he moved past her, not lying to her, but avoiding the topic at hand.  
  
"Dr. Sakori! Stop," Pricilla shouted, running after him and placing a hand on his arm to bring him to a halt, "what are you hiding from me? What's wrong with, Cloud?"  
  
The much older man looked down at the girl and closed his eyes. What was he going to do next? Running didn't help and the truth seemed, in his opinion, so farfetched that he didn't even consider revealing it unless it became a last resort. That was when he saw it. The sudden realization in her widen eyes which made tiny papercuts in his heart.  
  
"He's not going to make it through, is he? He's going to die."  
  
He didn't answer and the silence made Pricilla's almond eyes water up. Shuddering, she choked back sobs and allowed the tears to flow freely down her face. It didn't matter that people were staring at her in confusion. It didn't matter that for the first time she was being seen crying and without her game face, which so happened to be a smile and carefree and dancing eyes. All that mattered was a man, who had risked his life to protect everyone else but himself, was upstairs in her room, dying. Realizing something Tifa most likely thought was just a phase, Pricilla began to cry even more for the pain she knew Tifa would soon experience and without scolding her weakness, the much smaller girl placed her arms around Dr. Sakori's waist and cried into his chest. All the doctor did was hold the shuddering child in comfort while looking up at the dark sky and wondering to himself how the world was going to take the loss of a hero.  
  
  
Somebody save me  
Let your warm hands break right through me  
Somebody save me  
I dont' care how you do it  
just save me, save me  
I've made this whole world shine for you  
  
  
Tifa's eyes fluttered open to the same feeling she had fallen asleep with. Cloud's chest rising and falling with his synchronizing breathing. It was the sweetest thing until she lifted her head up and came fact to face with the sparkling blue that that her lover's eyes.   
The eyes, she had for once during the moment of crisis believed, she would never have seen again.  
  
"Hey, you're awake," she stated the obvious, a smile making it's way on her face as she reached for Cloud's hand and grasped it lightly. It was cold and it almost made Tifa wince, but instead, she remained nonchalantly joyous without any sudden gestures to upset him.  
  
"Yeah. I heard you're voice...and I listened," Cloud began, weakly holding onto Tifa's small hand as well, "I had to come back...to you. I had to come back and tell you how much I love you and how much you loving me has brought me as far as I have gone in this world. I had to tell you that you're my hope, Tifa. You're the faith I have in the world I protected. I had to come back, one last time, and say good-bye."  
  
As quickly as the smile appeared, it quickly faded. It couldn't be that after everything that had just happened, he was still destined to die. How could fate be so twisted and cruel to play with her emotions in such a demonic way, "Good-bye?"  
  
"Yes. I fought as hard as I could to see your face one last time...that was my last wish...those were my last words. I want you to remember that I will always be watching and protecting you, like I always have in the past. Always know, that I love you," Cloud whispered almost barely audibly. The poison was already spreading so much in his bloodstream, it was even painful to speak. But the determination he had to say these final words, were what kept him going. Tifa would know the truth, no matter how much pain he had to endure for that to happen.  
  
"Tifa!"  
  
The ruby eyed bartender turned her gaze around and saw AVALANCHE at the doorway of Pricilla's bedroom. It was everyone. Barret. Red XIII. Cait Sith. Cid. And even Vincent. They were all here, to pay their respects to their leader. Nobody would have even guessed it, but it was a relief to have reinforcements. Nobody knew how badly Tifa needed them right now.  
  
All five ex-rebel-alliance members stared at the bed with the world's hero in it. Noticing their gaze travel from her to the bed, Tifa swung completely back around and noticed Cloud asleep once again. Only if she knew how ironic that sounded, she wouldn't have even thought it.   
  
Placing a hand on his immobile chest, she didn't feel anything. Not the slow breaths which was responsible for making his now still heart beat. Not the moving of his chest. Not the once almost tight grip of his hand. He was completely still. Completely peaceful. Completely free.  
  
"Cloud..................Cloud?"  
  
  
Just save me, save   
Come on  
I'm still waiting for you  
  
  
@----^------^----------------------  
  
  
It was so bright. The light. The beautiful, welcoming light. It was all he wanted to be embraced in. Bathe in. Be one in. He moved closer to the source and felt himself being repelled, almost banished from it's glorious existence. That action made him angry and made him try even harder. But the more he tried, the farther back it threw him. He was not getting any closer and his head was beginning to pound from the impulse and intensity of the light.  
  
"Why can't I come to you? What's going on here?! Please.....I'm lost, I don't want to be lost anymore."  
  
'You're not lost, Cloud. You were never lost.'  
  
"What? Who are you?"  
  
Cloud began floating backwards, farther and farther away from the enticing light. It made him frightened and confused at where he was being sent. What had happened to the promises of eternal bliss for Earth's savior's? Was it all a lie? He couldn't help but believe so even though he was looking at the Planet's reward with his own eyes.  
  
'You are receiving a second chance at life. That is your reward for accepting a destiny you had a choice to decline. You have a second chance to live a life of...love and hope. A life which you were deprived from.'  
  
"What?! What's going on, please tell me? Aeris, is that you? Please talk to me, tell me what to do!"  
  
He floated farther and farther away from the goal until his vision became black and the last thing he heard was, 'You will die eventually, Cloud. But not yet."  
  
  
@----^------^-------------------------  
  
  
Tifa Lockheart laid her head on Cloud's chest, weeping intently into it. She had made her friends leave, even though they begged her not to shut them out as she did with Yuffie own death. It couldn't be endured and she shouted from them to just leave her alone. She had found out the reason why they were here in the first place was because Dr. Sakori and Pricilla had made a few phone calls involving Cloud's 'situation.' It was under good intentions, but Tifa couldn't help but feel angry at their just intent. She couldn't help but feel angry at the world.  
  
It was moments of silence before a loud gasp and coughing was heard coming from the supposed dead body of Cloud Strife. Tifa let out a scream as she allowed her fear to toss her backwards. This couldn't be possible, Cloud could not be alive was all she could think. How could this possibly be?  
  
"You're not real...."  
  
Catching his breath, Cloud breathlessly whispered, "Tifa."  
  
"You can't be real," Tifa murmured back with so much tear drops in her eyes, it almost made her blind. This was a dream come true but she couldn't help question it's reality. Even though Tifa was a firm believer in miracles, she wanted logic first, "Cloud, you're dead....how can you be talking to me?"  
  
"I heard your voice........and I came back to you."  
  
Silence filled the room before all that was heard was Tifa's loud cries as she jumped up from the floor and onto the bed right besides Cloud. Planting so many kisses on his lips, she hugged him and cried, while breathing heavily, right onto his shoulder in utter contentment, "You came back to me."  
  
He stroked her hair delicately and kissed her cheek before pulling back and grabbing her hands in an almost serious fashion. He even contained a serious look in his eyes and a certain tone which surprised and somehow brought suspicion to Tifa, "Tifa, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. A lot of mistakes I could have avoided but didn't. I don't regret those mistakes because they brought me to where I am right now and made me the man I am today. One thing I do know, though, is you were never a mistake to me. You were there, by my side, and you took me to this whole new place. It was so beautiful, it was almost blinding and when I died, I felt empty. I felt empty because that place doesn't exist without you. Destiny brought me back to this world, back to you, to give me a second chance at doing something I should have done a long time ago."  
  
Looking at Cloud confused, she watched him lean forward, whisk a stray strand of hair away from her ear and whisper softly, "Will you marry me?"  
  
Tifa kept her arms around Cloud's neck as she suddenly began to heave softly with happiness. She felt her eyes contain this certain numbness about them that if she shed another tear, it felt as though they would loose all feeling in them permanently. Not only feeling but sight. The tears made it feel as though her vision would bleed right out of her with the tears being shed. Nothing could stop the jackhammering of her heart at this mere moment. Nothing could be more perfect.  
  
"Yes," Tifa whispered breathlessly into her lover's ear, closing her eyes as a teardrop fell from her eyelids. She gripped onto his neck as she felt him circle his arms around her small body lovingly.   
  
Maybe destiny wasn't so bad after all was all Tifa could think before feeling Cloud's plush lips on her own while embracing the emotions that were dancing around her heart joyously.  
  
@----^----------------^--------------------------  
  
  
The church was beautiful on this glorious day where I would be joined in Holy Matrimony with Cloud Strife. In a matter of minutes, I would no longer be Tifa Lockheart, but Tifa Lockheart Strife. As the church doors opened, I walked down the aisle, Barrett walking by my side as the man who would give me away. He was as much as a father as anyone, and I loved him so much for being there through my days of torture and my days of bliss. He experienced every day just as a father would.  
  
Continuing our walk, I noticed how crowded the church was. I was so happy to see most of our friends there and people smiling and some crying tears of happiness. I wouldn't be so far from that very soon. I felt free, almost as though I was floating on air as I saw my husband-to-be at the end of the aisle, smiling at me with those brilliant blue eyes. I couldn't help but smile at his beauty. I loved that beauty ever since we were children and I couldn't stop myself from loving it even today, as an adult. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder, and when that eye beholds that beauty, it would be a sin to let it get away. I was one of the lucky ones. I didn't let it get away. 


	21. Epilogue - The Thin Line Between

The Thin Line Between  
by : Beatriz  
  
  
Epilogue - The Thin Line Between  
  
  
"So grandma, what happened to Riley," a preteen child with large ocean blue eyes asked curiously, a smile of interest locked on her face. She had her father's lopsided grin, the one he had inherited from his own father.  
  
"Well, Riley and I divorced and that was when I married your grandfather. It seemed like such a hard decision to make but in the end, all I had to do was listen to my heart and look carefully at what was right in front of me," an older version of Tifa Lockheart explained, a small smile on her slightly wrinkled face.  
  
"Do you ever regret you're choice? Do you ever wish you stayed with your other husband?"  
  
Tifa sat back in her rocking chair and contemplated the highlight of her life when she was a young woman. There was no doubt in her mind that she would have never taken back marrying Cloud, she loved him and always will. But sometimes, thoughts of what if did plague her mind. Something she was sure of, she may have been living a much more financially stable life with Riley, but would never be as happy as she was with Cloud. There could be as many as a hundred what ifs but in the end, the decision was no contest.  
  
Instead of explaining all the thoughts she had pondered of the topic, Tifa shook her head slowly and gave a small grin of satisfaction at her granddaughter's happy and satisfied face, "Now it's off to bed you go, if your mother and father find out you were awake this late, let's just say you won't be seeing you're grandmom tomorrow."  
  
Giggling, Tifa's granddaughter went up to her and kissed her cheek gently while stating, "Thank you for telling me a great bedtime story, grandma. I'm never going to forget it."  
  
Smiling, Tifa watched part of the generation of Strifes run up the stairs quickly and happily. She was so proud of little Aeris. She honestly was a reflection of Cloud. Her rambunctiousness. Her quaint sense of humor. Her slight sarcasm and mostly, her eyes.  
She was a beautiful girl. That was, yet another reason, to add to choosing Cloud as her heart's desire  
  
  
I always kept that story as a part of my past, yet also a part of my heart for all time. This story was my legacy and the reason I had spent the rest of my adulthood living a life of complete bliss, knowing finally, what it was like to feel love and be loved in return. Riley, I believed, loved me and it was no doubt that I loved him as well. But Cloud gave me a reason to want to change. A reason to want to be different. Riley was there for me when I indeed needed him, but Cloud always held a part of my heart, no matter how much of that small fact I wanted to ignore.  
  
In our years of growing old together, we experienced more love in almost three decades, than an average human being would experience in a lifetime. After I married Cloud it was almost as though a part of me was finally complete, I finally knew what that poem, my mother taught me so long ago about love, actually meant. Cloud helped me learn that lesson I was destined to learn. He saved me from a life of dissatisfaction and wondering. Not only was he a hero to this very world, but he was a hero in my heart. But after those years of dedication and unconditional love, he left me, just as he was intended to so long ago, with his undying faith.  
  
Destiny, I learned, was nothing to resent, but something to respect. You may not want to believe me right now, but you'll learn that lesson life has to offer. Whether it be the easy or the hard way. I smiled when destiny shone upon me and soon, so will you.  
  
Every night, I still look up at constellations and think of him. I close my eyes, imagining the star's symmetric lining and almost feel his love exploding from my heart. I still miss him, but I never forget the lessons he taught me and the emotions he made me feel. I'll never forget him and hopefully one day, we'll be reunited just as we had before. You see, I learned, in my life experiences, that there's a thin line between logic and the miracles you believe your heart can lead you to. You just have to know what side you're on.   
  
  
AN : OK people! What did you think? Sorry I ended it so abruptly and didn't go back into the whole Riley issue, but I didn't want to drag things out and plus my brain was already racked so I wanted to finish this as swiftly and as quickly as possible. But don't get me wrong, I had so much fun writing this story and I'd like to thank all of you who supported me when I was writing, posting your reviews and showing your support for what I did. I couldn't have completed this story without your help and so I'm thanking you all so much again. Hopefully, I'll come out with another story, we'll see, and hopefully, I'll have all of you reading and enjoying more of what I have to offer. Peace :o) 


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